yeah, Ashley's sucks... but can't really blame him. If you watch your loved ones almost got m*rdered by a sociopath, i won't be silent as well. He was in fact doing a good job raising & disciplining all those monsters until they can function "properly" in society. Imagine if even the harsh methods did not work on Grayson or all his other kids.....
I blame Ashley's parents for the trauma and Koi for wanting to have dozen of pups despite knowing his husband's condition

if you asked "what the heck goes through his mind"
basically here's what his way of thinking:
[reason 1] lil kid being a bad boy > lil kid got send to the bunker bcs he was punished as a bad boy > lil kid must atone to his wrongdoings and finish his punishment > if lil kid not finish his punishment, he'll stay a bad boy and the punisher will adds up lil kid punishment.
[reason 2] Helping people is a noble things and what a good person like firefighter must do > Since the lil kid is asking for help, a firefighter must help them > Helping lil kid with his punishment = doing a noble things as a firefighter
So what did a Grayson "Firefighter" Miller can do to help that lil kid and praised for doing a noble things?
ACCOMPANY THE LIL KID UNTIL HE FINISH THE PUNISHMENT AND BE FREE FROM THE TITLE OF A BAD BOY, OF COURSE
If Grayson Miller let the kid out of the bunker BEFORE his punishment period "ended", both of them will be labeled as a bad boy!! Oh, no, no... that cannot do! Papa Miller will be so disappointed in Grayson if he were being a bad boy. Moreover, Fucking Dane and his cronies will be angry and mad at Grayson for not doing a noble things. No, waaaaaayyy! that must not happened! As a firefighter Grayson must do the noble things which is helping the lil kid who's been asking for help
yeah that's basically what's on his mind. TRUST ME, I'M GRAYSON MILLER