My thoughts

OMG, yeah! I’d give this more likes if I could! I don’t see many people saying this, but I 100% agree with everything you said!!!

Thank you kind stranger, yeah i see a LOT, almost all comments, complaining about MC and nothing about ML, i don't know if it comes from a sexist standpoint considering in yaoi, specially omegaverse the gender roles are the same than in society and very clear. Omega/uke = woman, alpha/seme = man.

I sure hope not tho

It’s pretty obvious that (like you said) there’s a sexist factor where, in general, the bottom is treated as the woman in society while the top is treated as the man

These past few days I’ve been thinking about it and trying to understand why a WOMAN, considering that the authors are almost all women, would write something so sexist. I started wondering if maybe, being fed up with the way women are treated, they want to reframe those dynamics by making men play both roles. That way the imbalance becomes much more noticeable, because people are so used to unequal dynamics between men and women that they barely question them anymore. But when you see the exact same dynamic between two men, it stands out a lot more. I don’t know if that makes sense.

That being said, maybe it’s because I have an annoyingly strong sense of justice and fairness, but I’ve always hated the whole trope of the fuckboy who wants an inexperienced virgin. It’s the same double standard as manwhores expecting a virgin girlfriend. I just can’t wrap my head around that mindset. Personally, I think people should date someone who’s on the same wavelength as them: virgin with virgin, average with average, fuckboy with fuckboy (Like you said pt.2).

Take Roses and Champagne, for example. Caesar, whose body count is probably in the thousands, gets mad at Lee Won just because he dared to have relationships before him

I think the second part got cut off, so I’ll add it here (I write everything in my notes app first and then copy and paste it here because typing directly here is annoying):

As for the “omegas = women” thing, ABSOLUTELY YES. Low Tide in Twilight is a perfect example of it. Euihyun had to hide his true nature his entire life so people would think he was a Beta instead of an Omega, because Omegas were taken by Alphas and either raped, sold into prostitution, or claimed by an Alpha who would basically baby-trap them. Euihyun was literally terrified before finding out his little brother’s secondary gender, and he was incredibly relieved when he learned he was an Alpha.

Then there’s also the whole rhetoric of “Alphas protect Omegas” which mirrors the idea that “men protect women”. But protect them from whom? Because if those men weren’t the ones creating the danger in the first place, there wouldn’t be any need for that protection.

100% to everything you said, I also hate that double standar which is starting to pop up more and more with the "body count" term. How sexist men say it only applies to women.

I also think a factor on why a woman would write this type of stories is internalized misogyny. Korea and asia in general have way heavier patriarchal societies than us. And i think that plays a major role.
Maybe they don't realize while writing two men that they are applying the same rules that society applies to them

I think depending on the author its unconcious or, as you said, some type of revenge or a way to let go of frustation by making fictional men go through what they go through.

One last thing I wanted to say, it's such a breath of fresh air talking with someone so eloquent and knowledgable on the internet. Your thoughts are very aligned and the way you write makes everything very easy to understand.

1/2
Oh yeah, internalized misogyny could definitely play a role too. A while ago I saw a thread here where readers were commenting on a manhwa in which the bottom had slept with a lot of people, they were saying they hate “bottom hoes”, that they’re totally fine when it’s the top who’s promiscuous at first, but seeing the bottom like that is disgusting. That alone shows how widespread that mindset is, even subconsciously, among women, projecting those ideas onto yaoi characters.

Or maybe they’re simply following the trends of whatever seems to be the most successful in the bl market. You can often see it in the authors’ notes too, they’ll say they spent a lot of time researching what was doing well in the bl market and what readers were looking for, so they end up creating something that’s more likely to sell and will make money rather than something they personally enjoy the most

2/2
A good example is Borderline (called The Boundary of Delusion here), in the creator’s note, she says her favorite trope is #CrybabyVirginTop, but if you’ve read the manhwa, you can tell the top is veeeery far from that. He’s basically a manwhore (He said himself that he’s been with “hundreds, if not thousands, of people”), though I guess it’s slightly better than the usual dynamic because the bottom, Nanjo, isn’t actually a virgin either, he’s been with other people, they just happened to be women (+ Sunhwa). Since they know a lot of readers tend to enjoy those somewhat toxic dynamics, they lean into them.

But obviously, that’s not the only thing that makes a manhwa successful, there are plenty of really successful manhwas with tops who aren’t like that. The best example is Melting Point, Ian is a virgin and a total yearner, and the story is still hugely successful because it’s just really well written.

I just hope they realize they don’t have to rely on these toxic tropes all the time. I mean, come on, I read yaoi to avoid straight stories with female leads whose characterization makes my blood run cold, and then I end up seeing the same thing in yaoi too T-T

Anyway, thank you for the compliments!!! I’ve really enjoyed talking with you too!!

How to I say I love you in all language in this world’s girl, I cant speak English perfectly so I only write little sentence, I fucking hate manwhore ml thanks for write this beautiful comment

GIRL ILY2 LIKE I DON’T REALLY CARE ABOUT PROMISCUOUS X VIRGIN BUT PLEASE NOT IN MY CHILDHOOD FRIEND BL

FRRRR, cuz what do you mean they didnt love each other from the beginning and didn't confess cuz they thought the other didn't like them but still held hopes, take this out of my sight. Give me years of yearning and pinning but MAKE IT MUTUAL