Just realism and consent are enough to get me into a series. Though, (and I don’t know if it’s just me) BDSM scenes where it leans more towards actual torture than pleasure makes me consider if the author understands the concept. Also one of the characters being an asshole outside and during can make me drop.
CONSENT! good bdsm has consent, thats like the most important and basic thing in bdsm
I absolutely agree! Consent forward, always. But this also makes me wonder how you feel about stories where a sub consents to something they're on the fence about and the dom follows through on it without noticing the sub's discomfort.
What about a series where we're at the point that the couple is in an established dom/sub dynamic and they do a more intense scene and we aren't shown explicit consent discussions beforehand?
What about if personal feelings like anger or guilt influence a scene in a series without impacting the negotiated things? Do those situations make the series bad for you then? Or are you open to exploring the nuance and grey areas/ can suspend disbelief enough to just enjoy the kinky horny fun times?
These things are super individual, there is no right or wrong answer. I just wanna know how you feel personally about those types of scenarios when they happen in stories, zero judgment.
My question is: What would a bdsm/ kinky bl manga or manhwa need to have or not have in order for you to consider it "good"? What makes a bdsm/kinky bl manga or manhwa "bad"? Like, what are you all looking for when you're reading a kink or bdsm series:
- super consent forward and explicitly negotiated depictions of bdsm with little to no conflict
- realistic depictions of kink with realistically written characters including miscommunications, complex feelings and grey area situations
- pure fantasy where we readers can just assume things are negotiated
- something else or a blend of the above
Lately there have been a few BDSM/ kink manga and manhwa that have displayed very great in mental, emotional, and physical aspects of kink but eventually develop conflict in the negotiation/ emotion/ communication aspect. So many people have been getting really upset about those conflicts and begin absolutely tearing those series to shreds despite them not being finished or the issues being, in my opinion, pretty realistic OR acceptable for fictional story drama. I absolutely understand people being upset when certain things happen in a story with BDSM/ kink as a focus but I also feel like a lot of nuance and grey area is being judged in favor of looking for unrealistically high standards in BDSM/ kink content.
I've been in the kink scene for over a decade in many different types of dynamics, I'm friends with many prodommes/ kinky sex workers, I volunteer with a nonprofit that is a community space for queer adults (with a huge overlap in the kink and sex work community), and I've been an educator in the kink scene for over 5 years. Kink is a HUGE part of my life and my everyday experience and the comments of all these BDSM bl is making me curious. I just wanted to start a dialogue, see what people are looking for in order to consider something a genuinely good bdsm/ kink series, what things are making people decide a good series has gone bad, and how does that vary from person to person?