He's confused what's he's feeling (love), so he's disgusted with himself.
https://www.mangago.me/home/mangatopic/22784038/
Reading this might help
It made me understand this better, thank you very much for your help (・∀・)
It made me understand this better, thank you very much for your help ( ╹▽╹ )
My take is that he's been into pilsang since the moment he saw him during the first story with the robot ML when pilsang was still obsessed with the cute MC. He just doesn't want to admit to himself that what he feels is the "disgusting feeling" or related feelings (like jealousy, worry, etc) to what he considers a fake none-existent emotion, love. The funny thing is he's been trying to get pilsang to obsess over him the way he was over the other MC, basically wants pilsang to fall madly in love with him. Typical narcissistic successful ML though, he doesn't want to admit he himself is in love and obsessed. Urgh
This helped so much! Thank you!
... Why is he disgusted??? I don't get it. Somebody helppp