Responses
I like your take and I agree that this dynamic is interesting to explore, but at this point aren’t they just rediscovering the same issue for the hundredth time? They briefly attempt express what they want, argue, fuck, repeat
They're coming at it with a new perspective though, like how my kid had to reconquer all his games after he got glasses .
It's so sad to see honestly... but nonetheless very good character writing.
Riftan isn't very emotionally intelligent so he says the wrong things but he genuinely means well. It's amazing to have someone love you to the point that whatever you do and whoever you are won't change that love. But his insecurities about not being enough has made him overprotective to the point that it's stifling maxi's potential and self discovery. He has quite a warped image of what it means to be happy and fulfilled with life probably because he grew up poor and he's constantly in war so his idea of a happy life is just physical comfort -which is essential but certainly not enough- when a healthy protective way would be to encourage her to find and do things that she likes and rely on her insight and council about things specially when it concerns both of them. because that would mean he's acknowledging her as an adult, a person with thoughts and opinions that are important and helpful. Because she is. As naive as she has been on many occasions she's smart, kind and insightful and also creative.
And maxi isn't able to enjoy Riftan's love or guide him on how to show it better because she simply can't believe that she deserves that. Her mind and body has grown up inside a literal war zone always having to survive her father by being useful following instructions denying who she is and also denying her humanity being reduced to an obedient child bearing machine... which has gotten a lot better but it's still ingrained in her. And it's fascinating that as much as she has obeyed her father throughout the years she still has a personality and she does things her way. Like she could very well become a woman like her nanny adopting that way of thinking about what it means to be a woman but she didn't and she has always kept a defiant heart and that specially comes out around ruth because I think he's the only one that has ever treated her as a normal human and an equal. Bickering with her not treating her like she's a child and coddling her but also showing gratitude and respect when it's due.
But the fact that she's constantly tying her self worth to services she can provide is just so sad to me and that leaves her with mind numbing anxiety instead of a free heart to approach life with curiosity and actually discovering what she can do and what areas she can be more helpful.
But I enjoyed this recent development. I like that she's slowly becoming more assertive in expressing her opinions and feeling hurt about being dismissed instead of accepting it as what she deserves.
I get that not seeing results is frustrating and being stuck in a loop with the characters is exhausting but that's how real people work too and I just really like it when an author has such a realistic approach to their character writing.