Reading the end all over again, Ch34 was honestly the absolute WORST. My heart literally aches for him, fr. The way Mok was desperately trying to get Nanjo’s validation, throwing out every excuse in the book-even if they were completely irrational and nowhere near enough for forgiveness- just so Nanjo would forgive him and let him stay... It instantly reminded me of little kid Mok trying to convince his adoptive mom to keep him, bargaining to help around the house just to lighten her load. That genuinely broke my heart into a million pieces. I just really hope Mok gets the love and acceptance he deserves to heal from all that childhood trauma.
I’m 100% sure that Nanjo rejecting him and throwing that soul-crushing line—‘YEAH. NOW LEAVE ME ALONE. I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN.’—right in his face dragged him straight back to square one. It dragged him back to that exact feeling of rejection and abandonment right after giving him a ray of hope that he could finally have stability and love... It’s such a foul, gut-wrenching feeling to have hope ripped away from you the second you think you’ve finally made it. No one will ever truly get what it feels like for a kid like Mok to be rejected and abandoned TWICE by the people he loved and trusted to be his safe space, first his birth parents, then his adoptive family. Being thrown back into an orphanage/ welfare foundation after living as a loved, spoiled kid in a warm home is literally the worst thing ever. And to make matters worse, he was dumped into a horrible environment, shoved in a room with cruel kids, barely any food, and zero proper education. He faced bullying, racism, theft, and had all his dreams stripped away.
Now, I’m not saying his past or childhood trauma excuses ruining other people's lives, but I genuinely CAN’T help but sympathize with him. People with severe abandonment issues will literally cross every line and do the absolute most just to be accepted. Mok is going through it right now with zero emotional support or safe space... he's completely, utterly alone. The only person he ever truly loved and fought for rejected him, and his only friend dropped him (which I don’t even blame Sunhwa for, honestly it feels like there was past history between them, and what happened with Nanjo was just the final straw to cut Mok out for good). But seriously, how could I ever hate this guy or wish eternal misery on him like so many readers do?! How can people be so heartless and lack basic empathy? He didn't commit some unforgivable sin that warrants eternal suffering and completely losing Nanjo forever! He did what he did right under Nanjo’s nose and with his full compliance (like, lowkey, Nanjo had ZERO real reason to go that far just to 'protect' Sunhwa!! Their relationship wasn't even that deep or long-term for him to hurt himself like that!! Which honestly leaves me wondering... was Nanjo abused as a kid or something??!)
Reading the end all over again, Ch34 was honestly the absolute WORST. My heart literally aches for him, fr. The way Mok was desperately trying to get Nanjo’s validation, throwing out every excuse in the book-even if they were completely irrational and nowhere near enough for forgiveness- just so Nanjo would forgive him and let him stay... It instantly reminded me of little kid Mok trying to convince his adoptive mom to keep him, bargaining to help around the house just to lighten her load. That genuinely broke my heart into a million pieces. I just really hope Mok gets the love and acceptance he deserves to heal from all that childhood trauma.
I’m 100% sure that Nanjo rejecting him and throwing that soul-crushing line—‘YEAH. NOW LEAVE ME ALONE. I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN.’—right in his face dragged him straight back to square one. It dragged him back to that exact feeling of rejection and abandonment right after giving him a ray of hope that he could finally have stability and love... It’s such a foul, gut-wrenching feeling to have hope ripped away from you the second you think you’ve finally made it. No one will ever truly get what it feels like for a kid like Mok to be rejected and abandoned TWICE by the people he loved and trusted to be his safe space, first his birth parents, then his adoptive family. Being thrown back into an orphanage/ welfare foundation after living as a loved, spoiled kid in a warm home is literally the worst thing ever. And to make matters worse, he was dumped into a horrible environment, shoved in a room with cruel kids, barely any food, and zero proper education. He faced bullying, racism, theft, and had all his dreams stripped away.
Now, I’m not saying his past or childhood trauma excuses ruining other people's lives, but I genuinely CAN’T help but sympathize with him. People with severe abandonment issues will literally cross every line and do the absolute most just to be accepted. Mok is going through it right now with zero emotional support or safe space... he's completely, utterly alone. The only person he ever truly loved and fought for rejected him, and his only friend dropped him (which I don’t even blame Sunhwa for, honestly it feels like there was past history between them, and what happened with Nanjo was just the final straw to cut Mok out for good). But seriously, how could I ever hate this guy or wish eternal misery on him like so many readers do?! How can people be so heartless and lack basic empathy? He didn't commit some unforgivable sin that warrants eternal suffering and completely losing Nanjo forever! He did what he did right under Nanjo’s nose and with his full compliance (like, lowkey, Nanjo had ZERO real reason to go that far just to 'protect' Sunhwa!! Their relationship wasn't even that deep or long-term for him to hurt himself like that!! Which honestly leaves me wondering... was Nanjo abused as a kid or something??!)