how did yall confirm your sexuality?

pansexual nonbinary here, i know im pan bc i find boys, girls, and others equally hot but it's more the spiritual aspect that counts for me (sorry i word it in a very weird way ) i dont care the genital or gender bc if i like someone it's their personality and mind, not their body and my love for them will not change depending on their gender so if you dont know if you're bi or not, just ask yourself : would i still like them if the person that i like was of a different gender ?
i know im not really helpful since i have a really strange relation with gender and stuff like that sorry

People who throw around the word "fetishizing" most of the time have no idea what it means or what they are talking about

I came out as bi when I was 22, because I couldn't deny anymore I found women attractive. However, I did not date a woman until I was 26, but we have been together almost 5 years. To be honest, doubt STILL creeps in (even in a 5 year relationship, it is crazy) and that is likely due to people like your friend, doubting my own sexuality because I went at it at my own pace. I also didn't date men during this time, because I didn't want to date at all. Being attracted to women isn't inherently fetishization, take your time and remember it is YOUR sexuality, no one can define it for you or rush you. (Also...it sounds like your friend has no idea what they are talking about, that's a crazy thing to say to someone figuring themselves out)

yea bomb your friend rn, thats pure biphobia to tell you you arent bi as you havent dated women as a woman. thats a reccurent dialogue to also bi women as myself who are currently dating men, that they're not bi as they mostly date men, sexuality is a spectrum and no one can tell you who you are or who you're not attracted to. you define yourself, don't let others disrespect you or dare define what's yours, even worse to accuse you of fetichising your own sexuality