i have 1200 words to say abt ch10 (wish i was kidding)

there are a lot of people who seem disappointed or even disgusted with seongcheol (the victim btw), and his response to literally being non-consensually drugged with some sort of aphrodisiac (out of his mind and can't control himself btw), in chapter 10. i have a few (many) thoughts i wanna share about the chapter.

1. stop victim-blaming.

2. i think it's very reasonable that seongcheol, in his inebriated state, genuinely believes that he’s with minho, rather than junseo, for the following reasons:

2a. minho is the one who instructed seongcheol to go and retrieve the cash, meaning he knew seongcheol’s location and could have come to find him.

2b. the people who drugged him are completely aware of who seongcheol is to minho, meaning seongcheol is significant enough in minho's life to warrant being known. seongcheol might subconsciously think that means minho cares enough about him to come save him from the situation.

2c. seongcheol might subconsciously be associating these men with minho, as he may have previously interacted with them whilst minho was also present.

2d. the last person seongcheol thought about before being drugged was minho, and the men were also talking about him, further solidifying minho's image in his mind.

2e. seongcheol has absolutely zero reason to believe it is anyone but minho helping him. whether we like it or not, minho is the only constant person in seongcheol’s life, at this point in time.

the only other person who has expressed any concern for seongcheol’s well-being is junseo; however, their interactions are only a recent thing, and all seongcheol has done when they've spoken is said he wants junseo to leave him alone. there is NO reason that seongcheol, while drugged, would think it's junseo helping him.

[SIDE NOTE: we also NEED to remember that we actually have NO FUCKING CLUE why seongcheol wants nothing to do with junseo!!! considering how dark the story is thus far, we can't hold onto much hope that junseo is an entirely good-natured person.

[we already know that he is very blatantly obsessed with seongcheol - an unhealthy state of being, in general -, and that he, like minho, also doesn't know how to take “no” for an answer, and continues to seek out seongcheol, despite his protests.]

3. i think it’s very unlikely that seongcheol is sexually active with anyone other than minho.

minho clearly has an extremely high libido; he and seongcheol most likely have sex every day, multiple times, yet minho STILL feels the need to sleep with other people, too (e.g. the worker in chapter 6).

seongcheol is a construction worker who has been presented as someone who is often exhausted and definitely sleep-deprived. i seriously doubt he often goes out after a long day at work to find someone else to fuck.

additionally, minho is ridiculously possessive, to the point of aggression and violence. however hypocritical it is of him, minho doesn't seem like the type of person who would appreciate ‘sharing’ seongcheol. i would actually be surprised if, over time, minho had NOT conditioned seongcheol to never have sex with anyone else, regardless of whether seongcheol even wanted to.

4. i also wouldn't be surprised if minho had already previously given seongcheol some type of drug like this, at some point. in chapter 6, we see minho feeding some pill to the worker before having sex with him in the restroom; clearly, drugged sex IS something he participates in. if that’s the case, seongcheol’s mind might be subconsciously reverting to the last time this happened, which would have been with minho.

5. the fact is that seongcheol DOES find pleasure in sex with minho.

it most likely DIDN’T always feel “good” to him, but, because it's happened so many times, the pleasure would have become a conditioned response, likely his body’s defence mechanism against the continual assaults, to help him deal with it.

seongcheol has been sexually, physically, and psychologically abused by minho for a really long damn time. and he's constantly being told shit like "it's not like i'm raping you" [chapter 10], and “you think you're the victim here?” [chapter 6]. seongcheol might not even view the sex as assault anymore, because he has been conditioned to think "if it feels good, then it can't be bad".

THE POINT OF ALL THAT BEING: even if seongcheol is verbalising his ‘enjoyment’ of or ‘enthusiasm’ for sex with minho, does NOT mean the author is suggesting that their relationship is in any way consensual or healthy, nor that it is something the audience should accept as such.

notice the differences in seongcheol's behaviour during sex when he's sober versus when he’s inebriated. SOBER: uninterested, basically waiting for it to be over, sometimes protesting it, but still find some pleasure in it. DRUGGED: actively seeking out sex, extremely horny, desperate. he's COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. his behaviour is chapter 10 is NOT his usual behaviour with minho

to me, this is very clearly a story about abuse, and conditioned responses and behaviours. obviously, seongcheol’s situation is awful, but whether or not he is able to get out of it is entirely unpredictable, at this point.

considering where we’re at right now, i don't see the story ending any time soon, and that's GOOD. it means that there should be room for actual character development and exploration of themes, all done in a realistic and unrushed way.

how stupid would it be for the author to put so much effort into setting up the current situation and dynamics, showing us all the abuse and seongcheol's CONDITIONED RESPONSES to sexual advances and situations - which, keep in mind, have been developed over YEARS of abuse -, only to then turn around and say "and then he got over it".

SERIOUSLY, WE'RE ONLY ON CHAPTER 10, OF COURSE NOTHING IS RESOLVED YET.

but let's say that seongcheol DOES stay with minho, in the end; sadly, that IS realistic. after being stuck in a cycle of abuse, rape, and fighting for so long, it probably seems completely pointless to him to even attempt to find a way out.

even if the key to his cage is handed to him on a golden platter, seongcheol might not take it. what the fuck is the point, when minho is the locksmith?

if nothing changes for seongcheol, clearly the author's goal with this story was never even supposed to be of "romance” (i’ve never considered it to be that, anyway tbh). perhaps, instead, its purpose is simply to be an uncensored and dark exploration of domestic abuse.

if nothing changes, it’s just really fucking tragic. i won't be sitting here thinking "wow wtf endgame should've been junseo".

there are still so many unknowns about this story: there’s an entire plotline that we are yet to be shown, about their high school years; we don't know why seongcheol avoids junseo; we don't know the exact cause of seongcheol and minho's 3 year separation [chapter 6]; and we don't even know why seongcheol got involved with minho in the first place. we literally just do not know. YET.

how about we give the author a chance to actually tell us the story before we start assuming that they're simply an abuse-romanticising, trash writer