Long rant..

I don’t know why some of you are so hard on Mokyeon, saying that this is his “karma,” that he deserves more, or even that Nanjo shouldn’t give him a chance. And I understand your reaction—what he did was wrong, yes. But let’s be real here: was Mok in his right state of mind when he did that, or throughout the whole story?

We can judge his actions and say that what he did was wrong, but I don’t think we can entirely blame him without considering the state of mind he was in. It’s like blaming someone with bipolar disorder for having a manic episode and doing something risky or impulsive, or blaming a depressed person for constantly threatening to harm themselves. Whatever the disorder or diagnosis is, people aren’t necessarily in their right state of mind during those moments.

I’m saying this because I’ve done similarly stupid things to my best friend. Was it selfish? Yes. Did I need help? Absolutely. But was I in my right mind? Absolutely not. In that moment, I wanted her attention so badly. I was desperate, and honestly, I didn’t even know what the fuck I was doing. Looking back now, I still question why I acted that way.

It was only later, when I started seeking help, that I found out I had severe depression and GAD, as well as a risk of burnout. And maybe I sound selfish saying this too, but part of me always wished that my best friend at the time had asked me why I did what I did, or at least questioned what was going on with me, instead of completely blocking me and being angry.

Even if it sounds harsh, sometimes we need someone to bring us back to our senses and say, “Hey, what do you think you’re doing? This isn’t okay.” But at the same time, they can understand that we were in a different state of mind and weren’t entirely ourselves.

And that’s what I think Nanjo is like for Mok—or at least, I hope he is.

That last thing Nanjo said, when Mok was practically begging him to talk to him instead of doing the blood test—“Do the test first, then we can talk”—was honestly damn reassuring, even for me.

Of course, Nanjo can set boundaries (and he should), and he doesn’t have to be responsible for helping Mok. At the end of the day, Mok has to do the work himself. But I also think Nanjo is still a big part of that process. From what I’ve seen, Nanjo brings a sense of calm and reason to Mok more than anyone else does, and I think that alone can actually help Mok recover from whatever it is he’s struggling with.

And that’s why I don’t see Nanjo giving Mok another chance as him simply “letting him off the hook.” I see it more as Nanjo saying, “What you did was wrong, and you need to deal with it—but I’m still here, and we can talk about it.”

Sometimes, having someone who can hold you accountable while still making you feel like you’re worth helping can make a huge difference. I just hope that nanjo also don’t “lose himself” in the process cause i know it’s gonna be a whole damn mental rollercoaster for both if they actually end up together and in the meantime mok is getting help.