I don't see it fulfilling it in the slightest. That said, the amount of people used to Mary Sue characters who can do ensuring and experience no growth SHOWS HARD in this comment section. Never been a fan of Mary Sues but go off, ig.
Interesting premise and I like the idea that the one person who was ostracized, bullied, and treated as nothing is the only person who has the potential to become a "god." There's the chance that she could get amazing growth as a person. When she's not forced to be among the people who literally almkat killed her, she's very different. What little we know of her past outside the clan gives me the tiniest bit of hope. She used to work in an inn. She's capable of cooking, cleaning, and lifting heavy things. She's not afraid of hard work. And she's spent more time outside of the clan as a person, versus being treated as a punching bag while inside.
I have zero thoughts on the ML. They've done nothing with him, honestly. I get why people aren't happy so far but it's too early for me. So far, we've seen one flash back where he was frustrated with her and in the present, he's done very little. Sure he "saved" her but the alternative was letting her die and the world suffer, since she won't give birth to a "hero." That's, um. A choice, ig. He's currently more a plot device with a tiny bit of agency.
As for the FL? She was summoned back, against her will, in the first chapter. She brought a dagger as self defense. She was TRYING to protect herself. Then her world is turned upside down when she's forced into a marriage against her will.
THIS IS NOT OPTIONAL. I don't think commenters understand that. She HAS TO pick one of the 3 sucky choices. Just because she picks her childhood love doesn't mean that she WANTS to. She turns ALL THREE DOWN at first. She's held there against her will and later almost raped as a result. She's told point blank that even if she tries to run, she'll be dragged back. She has ZERO CHOICE when it comes to the marriage. Her only saving grace is that she can pick someone other than the person who almost killed her. That's it. This clan won't ever let her go, because of the prophecy.
Chapter 3 shows her briefly getting ahead of herself and then accepting her fate. She's trying to make the best of a bad situation. She's picked someone, the only person who's helped her so far, even if she knows this is a business deal. She's trying to find something positive to cling to. At least it's her first love. It's either this or turning him down and being raped by one of the other two.
Expecting her to be able to fight on the level of any of the men who trained from birth is stupid. She managed to fend one off and knew that she wouldn't be able to keep fighting, so she turned the blade on herself. She only asked for help when she was cornered to the point of her only other option being death. And it wasn't like they're were other people on her side. Everyone was ready to hold her down there, if ordered to.
I'm not saying it's good. I'm not even saying I have high hopes for it. It's not even mid. It has potential but it's likely to be yet another emotional torture porn. They're going to go wishy washy on both her and the ML, drag out the will they won't they, and not address the main issues for longer than necessary.
The potential is there. The next few chapters could have her bright, cheerful, and super helpful around the soldier quarters. Give her a week or two to semi start fitting then. Then, a small drama scene, and the cliche of her falling ill due to stress. ML shows up late one night to check on her and find her crying in her sleep. Or he catches her when she's alone and softly crying to herself. She's breaking down inside, not anywhere as strong as she pretends to be, and her cheerfulness is an act. But what else can she do? She doesn't have a family to protect her and what she can do to protect herself is limited. Have a scene where he finds her chiding herself, telling herself she HAS TO be stronger, and forcing a cheerful attitude.
I want the first emotions he feels towards her to be guilt. A pang at first, which he ignores. He continues to treat her coolly. He's polite but distant. His offered comfort is clearly out of duty, not emotion. But the more he tries to distance himself, the heavier the guilt weighs on him. He did this. He forced her into a corner. He made it so that she could only act cheerful in front of him.
Then, as he's becoming aware of her (in a general sense, not romantic) he notices how she acts with the other soldiers. She shows them more sides. She pouts, laughs, teases them and even gets angry. It slowly dawns on him that she doesn't show him any vulnerability. She ISN'T like her childhood self at all. She asks for help, occasionally, but it's for little things like moving something too heavy for her or opening a door while her hands are full. It occurs to him, as he watches her with others, that she no longer trusts him. She doesn't ask him for help again, even when she's later in serious trouble. She turns to others with her worries, tells others about her troubles, discusses with others when she thinks someone might be following her or want to harm her.
He confronts her about it. She brushes it off with a smile. Oh, she already received enough help from him. She could never ask again. It dawns on him that she will probably leave once they have the baby. She has drawn a clear line between them, and not only is he unsure how to cross it, he no longer knows if he has the right.
Meanwhile, she's spent this whole time growing as a person. She's gotten to know other people, expanded her world. She's befriended the soldiers, gotten to know the servants, made herself a little makeshift family. She cries when she's alone, then chastises herself, telling herself to be stronger. But later, finds people who accept her as she is. She's allowed to cry and be scared and get angry with them. She's allowed to be playful, pout, tease, and have a full range of emotions. She spends more and more time away from the ML. She still enjoys his touch and the intimate moments but her life no longer has him at its center.
And now that she's focusing on herself, her abilities are growing by leaps and bounds. Emotional healing has helped her grow stronger in regular healing. She doesn't need to be a sword weilder. I think it would be cool to see her use her abilities as a threat. Too much healing does just as much harm. Turning up the feeling on nerve endings as she heals, leaving them with debilitating pain. Screwing up the immune system so it leaves them weak as it attacks itself. Screwing up how certain organs function by sending them into over drive. There's plenty of ways to work it. It takes time and it's not an easy fix for protecting herself but it gives her some agency. And it puts power back into her hands. When she's attacked and defended, SHE decides what happens to those who hurt her.
Have her willing to have the child and even willing to share custody but starting to look forward to leaving. If they need her help raising the cold, she can stay nearby for a few years but then she wants to leave. She wants to meet more people, learn about new places. Maybe she wants to travel. Maybe she wants to study. Maybe she wants to open her own inn. What she absolutely hates is staying in a loveless marriage. She appreciates what the ML has done for her but she keeps the line drawn between them. She's distrustful when he tries to get closer to her.
Whether they are end game or not, building them as people for the next 20 to 30 chapters, even if it's a bit rushed in places, would be amazing. It won't happen, it's a pipe dream, but I'll leave this here in case anyone else wants to do something with this basic layout. Maybe one day, I'll get that character development in a story.
I don't see it fulfilling it in the slightest. That said, the amount of people used to Mary Sue characters who can do ensuring and experience no growth SHOWS HARD in this comment section. Never been a fan of Mary Sues but go off, ig.
Interesting premise and I like the idea that the one person who was ostracized, bullied, and treated as nothing is the only person who has the potential to become a "god." There's the chance that she could get amazing growth as a person. When she's not forced to be among the people who literally almkat killed her, she's very different. What little we know of her past outside the clan gives me the tiniest bit of hope. She used to work in an inn. She's capable of cooking, cleaning, and lifting heavy things. She's not afraid of hard work. And she's spent more time outside of the clan as a person, versus being treated as a punching bag while inside.
I have zero thoughts on the ML. They've done nothing with him, honestly. I get why people aren't happy so far but it's too early for me. So far, we've seen one flash back where he was frustrated with her and in the present, he's done very little. Sure he "saved" her but the alternative was letting her die and the world suffer, since she won't give birth to a "hero." That's, um. A choice, ig. He's currently more a plot device with a tiny bit of agency.
As for the FL? She was summoned back, against her will, in the first chapter. She brought a dagger as self defense. She was TRYING to protect herself. Then her world is turned upside down when she's forced into a marriage against her will.
THIS IS NOT OPTIONAL. I don't think commenters understand that. She HAS TO pick one of the 3 sucky choices. Just because she picks her childhood love doesn't mean that she WANTS to. She turns ALL THREE DOWN at first. She's held there against her will and later almost raped as a result. She's told point blank that even if she tries to run, she'll be dragged back. She has ZERO CHOICE when it comes to the marriage. Her only saving grace is that she can pick someone other than the person who almost killed her. That's it. This clan won't ever let her go, because of the prophecy.
Chapter 3 shows her briefly getting ahead of herself and then accepting her fate. She's trying to make the best of a bad situation. She's picked someone, the only person who's helped her so far, even if she knows this is a business deal. She's trying to find something positive to cling to. At least it's her first love. It's either this or turning him down and being raped by one of the other two.
Expecting her to be able to fight on the level of any of the men who trained from birth is stupid. She managed to fend one off and knew that she wouldn't be able to keep fighting, so she turned the blade on herself. She only asked for help when she was cornered to the point of her only other option being death. And it wasn't like they're were other people on her side. Everyone was ready to hold her down there, if ordered to.
I'm not saying it's good. I'm not even saying I have high hopes for it. It's not even mid. It has potential but it's likely to be yet another emotional torture porn. They're going to go wishy washy on both her and the ML, drag out the will they won't they, and not address the main issues for longer than necessary.
The potential is there. The next few chapters could have her bright, cheerful, and super helpful around the soldier quarters. Give her a week or two to semi start fitting then. Then, a small drama scene, and the cliche of her falling ill due to stress. ML shows up late one night to check on her and find her crying in her sleep. Or he catches her when she's alone and softly crying to herself. She's breaking down inside, not anywhere as strong as she pretends to be, and her cheerfulness is an act. But what else can she do? She doesn't have a family to protect her and what she can do to protect herself is limited. Have a scene where he finds her chiding herself, telling herself she HAS TO be stronger, and forcing a cheerful attitude.
I want the first emotions he feels towards her to be guilt. A pang at first, which he ignores. He continues to treat her coolly. He's polite but distant. His offered comfort is clearly out of duty, not emotion. But the more he tries to distance himself, the heavier the guilt weighs on him. He did this. He forced her into a corner. He made it so that she could only act cheerful in front of him.
Then, as he's becoming aware of her (in a general sense, not romantic) he notices how she acts with the other soldiers. She shows them more sides. She pouts, laughs, teases them and even gets angry. It slowly dawns on him that she doesn't show him any vulnerability. She ISN'T like her childhood self at all. She asks for help, occasionally, but it's for little things like moving something too heavy for her or opening a door while her hands are full. It occurs to him, as he watches her with others, that she no longer trusts him. She doesn't ask him for help again, even when she's later in serious trouble. She turns to others with her worries, tells others about her troubles, discusses with others when she thinks someone might be following her or want to harm her.
He confronts her about it. She brushes it off with a smile. Oh, she already received enough help from him. She could never ask again. It dawns on him that she will probably leave once they have the baby. She has drawn a clear line between them, and not only is he unsure how to cross it, he no longer knows if he has the right.
Meanwhile, she's spent this whole time growing as a person. She's gotten to know other people, expanded her world. She's befriended the soldiers, gotten to know the servants, made herself a little makeshift family. She cries when she's alone, then chastises herself, telling herself to be stronger. But later, finds people who accept her as she is. She's allowed to cry and be scared and get angry with them. She's allowed to be playful, pout, tease, and have a full range of emotions. She spends more and more time away from the ML. She still enjoys his touch and the intimate moments but her life no longer has him at its center.
And now that she's focusing on herself, her abilities are growing by leaps and bounds. Emotional healing has helped her grow stronger in regular healing. She doesn't need to be a sword weilder. I think it would be cool to see her use her abilities as a threat. Too much healing does just as much harm. Turning up the feeling on nerve endings as she heals, leaving them with debilitating pain. Screwing up the immune system so it leaves them weak as it attacks itself. Screwing up how certain organs function by sending them into over drive. There's plenty of ways to work it. It takes time and it's not an easy fix for protecting herself but it gives her some agency. And it puts power back into her hands. When she's attacked and defended, SHE decides what happens to those who hurt her.
Have her willing to have the child and even willing to share custody but starting to look forward to leaving. If they need her help raising the cold, she can stay nearby for a few years but then she wants to leave. She wants to meet more people, learn about new places. Maybe she wants to travel. Maybe she wants to study. Maybe she wants to open her own inn. What she absolutely hates is staying in a loveless marriage. She appreciates what the ML has done for her but she keeps the line drawn between them. She's distrustful when he tries to get closer to her.
Whether they are end game or not, building them as people for the next 20 to 30 chapters, even if it's a bit rushed in places, would be amazing. It won't happen, it's a pipe dream, but I'll leave this here in case anyone else wants to do something with this basic layout. Maybe one day, I'll get that character development in a story.