My tears were about to fall and then it didn't. The premise was interesting, very much promising at the start. And honestly, I was enjoying the heartbreak, but the development of their relationship in a romantic sense feels so rushed and underdeveloped that the previous heartaches were kinda thrown off aside. For one, Akira's awareness of his feelings was sudden imho. There was really no proper transition from him wanting to belong in a "family" and wanting to be Kaoru's lover. It seemed to me that he was angry and hurt because Kaoru doesn't see him as Akira, someone separate from Mamoru, instead of him being treated as the brother rather than a potential lover. It would have made the the angst more painful if the author was able to portray this transition.
This goes the same for Kaoru. After his "waking up", what do you mean he realized then and there he has feelings for Akira. This made the smut so unnecessary, because it would have been better for them to talked about stuffs first, really be in the moment of processing their griefs. Imagine them walking home silently, holding hands, after Kaoru learned Akira's name. Imagine them lying down beside each other still holding hands after crying so long opening up about their pasts, and then Akira falling asleep while being embraced by Kaoru who kept saying the other's name like some sort of lullaby. This would have made a great turning point in their relationship development instead of the out of place smut.
What's more, Kaoru randomly knowing stuffs about Akira's past during their intimate scene was funny in a way. I was making a confused face because no way in hell did they have a prior talk about it before they were going at it. That's also why him acknowledging Akira's struggles through words wasn't impactful.
I appreciate the portrayal of grief, though, both from the characters. It's conflicting, messy, bitter, and painful, as much as it reflected how much love they weren't able to give/receive. I just really wish it had better relationship development and the resolution of everything wasn't so sudden.
My tears were about to fall and then it didn't.
The premise was interesting, very much promising at the start. And honestly, I was enjoying the heartbreak, but the development of their relationship in a romantic sense feels so rushed and underdeveloped that the previous heartaches were kinda thrown off aside. For one, Akira's awareness of his feelings was sudden imho. There was really no proper transition from him wanting to belong in a "family" and wanting to be Kaoru's lover. It seemed to me that he was angry and hurt because Kaoru doesn't see him as Akira, someone separate from Mamoru, instead of him being treated as the brother rather than a potential lover. It would have made the the angst more painful if the author was able to portray this transition.
This goes the same for Kaoru. After his "waking up", what do you mean he realized then and there he has feelings for Akira. This made the smut so unnecessary, because it would have been better for them to talked about stuffs first, really be in the moment of processing their griefs. Imagine them walking home silently, holding hands, after Kaoru learned Akira's name. Imagine them lying down beside each other still holding hands after crying so long opening up about their pasts, and then Akira falling asleep while being embraced by Kaoru who kept saying the other's name like some sort of lullaby. This would have made a great turning point in their relationship development instead of the out of place smut.
What's more, Kaoru randomly knowing stuffs about Akira's past during their intimate scene was funny in a way. I was making a confused face because no way in hell did they have a prior talk about it before they were going at it. That's also why him acknowledging Akira's struggles through words wasn't impactful.
I appreciate the portrayal of grief, though, both from the characters. It's conflicting, messy, bitter, and painful, as much as it reflected how much love they weren't able to give/receive. I just really wish it had better relationship development and the resolution of everything wasn't so sudden.