This “a startling, gaping weakness that moves around and interacts in the world (Garam)” especially stuck in my head because yes, he was mad as hell that Garam had a life that didnt involve him. Lost his head after Garam and Crueger’s performance and told Garam all that mean-spirited stuff, like how he said Garam would be nothing without him. Then lost his head again when Garam decided to go to London.
I guess he did change in some aspects, though. Like, he didnt lash out when he saw Garam perform with Compton and the orchestra in that rehearsal. Sure, his panels were rather dark and empty compared to the heavenly musical moment between his two students, and that had to be intentional (like back then during garam and crueger performance) but at least there wasnt any rage or violence like there used to be.
Thats why im curious about this arc, how would he handle it if Garam put their relationship on a break or if he decided to evolve his music without the professor's involvement
Y'all are so smart I love reading stuff like this
Heejae was right to fear Compton, look at what he’s done to them lmao From a seemingly simple, “innocent” question or I guess insinuation really, as to what “love” truly is and what love is for them as a couple.
It’s especially fascinating bc of all the pupils, Compton is the closest to Heejae and thus is able to hurt and confront and connive like him. They’ve essentially been in this strange twisted Cold War by doing these under the table sabotages to each other pretty much since Compton became a prominent conductor. The issue here is that Heejae has finally become soft. There is finally a chink in the armor that can penetrate the softest most tender vulnerable part of him, a part he couldn’t even remember existed. A part shaped and called Garam, all while Compton is still fossilized. He has taken a small step, yes, in understanding the root of his tempestuous anger lies in his still tender feelings for Heejae. But he still wants to tear Heejae apart. He still wants him destroyed and reduced to nothing. Compton, although finally taking a step toward betterment, is still a total piece of shit like Heejae lmao. This is why Garam takes it so hard when Compton tells him he’s annoyed he has to make an apology he doesn’t even mean. Bc he’s showing Garam the other side of the coin; saying the words and not meaning them. Apologizing but for appearances and snickering all the while at the difference in level and how the anger and abuse was for the music, for betterment, deserved. All while seeing and feeling firsthand the face of the same coin; someone who means the apology and is coming from the soul, but can’t break past the pride, doesn’t have the word to speak it aloud, is afraid of what it will do to them both, what it says about himself, for it to break past his sharpness.
And for once, and truly probably the very last time, Heejae has an opening. A startling gaping weakness that moves around and interacts in the world (Garam). Does all this pain need to happen for both of them to grow and thus continue together in their lives? Yes. Undeniably. Of course. Their selves, their relationship, their music will evolve to something better under this pressure (two gems sharpening and refining each other).
The issue is the pain and honestly, the probable total shattering that will occur for them both. I’m especially interested in seeing Heejae through this bc for once, it will be something beyond his recognition and power. I really do think it will destroy him but I want to see what he does then. How he picks himself up, will he do it alone? Will Garam show him the way, either in person or metaphorically, in the Garam that will always live inside Heejae’s soul, the Eurydice to his Orpheus?
I think this is where the myth will come to fruition and with a better outcome (hopefully! especially when you consider the title!). I think Heejae will find the strength in his heart and soul that he never had before because of the love he carries for and from Garam. I think because of this, and because of the pain, and more than anything because of the beauty of the love he carries, he’ll know not to turn back to look. And hopefully, will make it out of hell and back into Garam’s arms.
Garam has evolved and will definitely continue to. A character like him, the pure ringing clarity that his music (soul) brings isn’t one to stop even in pain (and we saw this in the first part at school and then again with Compton while working through the emotions of Concerto no. 3). He will add another layer to his sound, a depth and richness from the depths of the pain of his love. I’m curious to see how the author will meld this to the beautiful clear sound he already has. A Garam that can harness the dark depths of pain and the lightness of transience will be unstoppable, something so far beyond a pupil that we will finally see the emergence of an equal to Heejae’s mastery? And the possibility of a glasslike aching tenderness to Heejae? I’ll probably scream lol…
So now it is time for Heejae to take that (possibly final?) step.
Sage, there aren’t enough words of thanks for your work and dedication, truly.