This sentence is working hard with mental gymnastics. Notice the accusation of ”are you upset?”, this often requires a negative reply to stabilise the situation but here it is a trick. By denying the statement you will trap yourself into indirectly deny the deceit of being lied to.
Also notice “you think I lied to you” is also an accusation, implying that what you think is wrong. Instead of admitting the reality of having lied Ian gaslights by prompting it as a belief of Michels. This excuses Ian of wrongdoing and responsibility as he did not lie according to his statement, Michel simply believes that he lied. Therefore Michel is in the wrong for misunderstanding Ians intentions, the truth of the circumstances be damned.
Michel handels the whole situation like a champ, eloquently putting words to his feelings and raising his concerns even though Ian just ignores Michels questions and starts the blaming game again. Poor Michel ~
There are more mental gymnastics happening in this chapter I just saw red when I read that sentence haha.
Ian’s gaslighting course 101:
”Are you upset because you think I lied to you?”
This sentence is working hard with mental gymnastics. Notice the accusation of ”are you upset?”, this often requires a negative reply to stabilise the situation but here it is a trick. By denying the statement you will trap yourself into indirectly deny the deceit of being lied to.
Also notice “you think I lied to you” is also an accusation, implying that what you think is wrong. Instead of admitting the reality of having lied Ian gaslights by prompting it as a belief of Michels. This excuses Ian of wrongdoing and responsibility as he did not lie according to his statement, Michel simply believes that he lied. Therefore Michel is in the wrong for misunderstanding Ians intentions, the truth of the circumstances be damned.
Michel handels the whole situation like a champ, eloquently putting words to his feelings and raising his concerns even though Ian just ignores Michels questions and starts the blaming game again. Poor Michel ~
There are more mental gymnastics happening in this chapter I just saw red when I read that sentence haha.