I have worst childhood trauma (like I was abused both mentally and physically also my father was alcoholic who committed suicide when I was in 12th standard giving my board exams and there are so many things) but I've never been toxic and abusive in my life until now. I really hate those authors who potrey traumatized peoples as abusers and i hate that most of them are shown as males. Idk about others but i learned how to behave properly from my traumas. I can't help but laugh at these authors and their shithead character. But one thing is i became avoidant and kinda don't like peoples that much, like I get bored of them easily
I'm sorry you had to experience that. The common storytelling style in BLs is to make the toxic character first and add trauma later--essentially to excuse their actions and make them sympathetic. Even worse, fans always use this to bypass any poor treatment the character causes.
The stalking, harassing, and manipulating can't be overlooked in favor of the fear of loneliness. I hope he doesn't come back to you!