Ok ignoring the current plot this was very good for me and I like it alot. I usually dont like childhood friends to lovers bc the authors hop right into romance and we usually cant even see what type of friendship they had prior. Here, you can see exactly what type of friends they were, and even when they finally date, they are still friends. Like minded childhood, shared hardships, knowing each other others personalities and habits, actually enjoying similar hobbies and even studying together and sharing their dreams and weaknesses. Before they were lovers, Yujae and Hanjun were without doubt best friends, not just bc the author said so, but actually showing it.
The characters were very realistic to me. The struggle with poverty, the pride, the embarrassment, the stress. Esp Hanjun, it rlly affected him and tbh never stopped affecting him. It was literally smth he had lived his whole life with and it showed in his interactions with others, whether he could buy new shoes, even go out to eat, or hand out with friends or join clubs. Reality. But even so, Hanjun was still very kind, a little prideful, but sweet and empathetic. His unrequited love was sad, but i understood why it had to be Yujae for him and why he couldnt give up. I esp liked that even tho he liked Yujae, he did not just let Yujae disrespect him. I dont condone violence, but Yujae would purposefully say hurtful words and Hanjun hit him twice and even threw ballons at him once. He also dares to confront Yujae when he is passivr agressive to him, and questions him about his intentions multiple times when Yujae is being sarcastic. I really liked this. Hanjun liked him, but it wasn't to the extent of lack of self respect. He cursed him out and hit him when he felt disrespected. He didn't just take it and feel sad. He got genuinely angry and he dished it right back. I rlly liked his character.
Now Yujae tbh...I actually liked him even more. This is not to say Yujae is a good person, in fact hes kind of a masters. But damn was his characterization interesting. A popular, charismatic guy that enjoys attention and being admired, but its just to satisfy his vanity. Actually, he likes to toy with others, doesn't care abt human relationships(unless its Hanjun), and is a bit manipulative. I feel like alot of authors who try to go this route dont write it well. But here, even thru Hanjuns pov, or maybe bc of his pov, Yujaes two faced nature is very intriguing. I liked how throughout the story, even when Yujae is angry, he smiles instead. His words become passive aggressive and he consciously puts pressure on others with overly blunt/seemingly kind words. I know ppl that speak like that in real life and tbh its super uncomfortable and it makes it hard to talk back to them. After all, they're smiling in your face, they appear friendly, but actually they're hostile(the scenes with the boy that liked the girl who had a crush on Yujae I liked alot. Yujae rlly dug up a.random memory to make fake friends with him wow) That is Yujae. He tries to put pressure on Hanjun using this throughout the book, but Hanjun knows him and knows hes being like that on purpose. Yujae can treat outsiders like that, but Hanjun knows him too well to let it slide.
Yujaes awakening to his feelings was slow and his mentality seemed confusing, but i liked the slowness and I even liked the reason for rejection at first. For him, his relationship with Hanjun is number 1 priority. As for friends, family, lovers, or even Hanjuns own romantic feelings for him, they are all put on the back burner for the maintenence of the relationship. Growing up in a household where his parents fought and used him as both a tool and collateral, he doesn't believe in romance. In his mind, lovers are temporary. His relationship with Hanjun is forever. So when Hanjun confesses, Yujae tells him to to clear his mind and come to him when he gets over it. This is temporary emotion to Yujae, but their relationship is permanent. He didn't expect that this would lead to Hanjun going no contact and leaving. It never crossed his mind their relatinship could end so easily. Hanjun was basically his whole world. He pays very close attention to Hanjuns family(frequently paying attention to his mother), his friends(he purposefully befriends Hanjuns friends), his hobbies(he joins all things Hanjun likes), and his emotions and health. Even when Hanjun hits him and friends advise him to break contact, Yujae just thinks they're bickering and they'll def make up.
Later, he did all the steps to get back into contact and return to how they once were. Some ppl might not like it but to Yujae their friendship was truly more important than any romance. He asked once did him not wanting to be in a romantic relationship with Hanjun mean that any ties they had and their bond was gone? Could it only be a romantic relationship or they couldn't be in contact anymore? And you know what thats what alot of these unrequited love stories make me question. Hanjuns feelings are valid, but their bond outside love is also valid. Later, Hanjun acknowledges this and says even if they aren't lovers, he cant live without Yujae. I liked this. When Yujae hears this, his attitude does a 180 and he considers them dating. I think this makes sense. Now that he knows he isnt being pressured into dating at risk of going no contact otherwise, that Hanjun does value their bond just like he does, he can calmly consider whether he likes Hanjun back. And he does! He always has tbh, but he needed time to like a guy, like his best friend, and try a romantic relationship he fears is doomed to fail based on his parents marriage.
The dating stage was so nice and watching them get used to each other in a new way was sweet. Also the sex scenes were so good! Hanjun is very fit and they're similar heights, which i rlly like. Yujae is a bit controlling in bed, which is to be expected given his personality. They worry about money, being together forever, living together. Yujaes concerns about keeping freshness(to the point of being celibate and limiting their sex life) are both silly, heartwarming, and sad. He thinks love is limited, so he tries to stretch out their love so it can last as long as possible. Hanjuns personality doesn't magically change when they date. He still tries to live within his means, while also trying to be good to Yujae. This causes him distress sometimes and gets angry sometimes. But now he has someone to share his worries and a vision of a brighter future eith the two of them together. The solution in the military chaoters for him to look at Yujae when talking and state if he is angry I feel is a good solution for Hanjun. He has a tendency to bottle up emotions by himself and then explode, so im glad they're working on that. The relationship between them is so real, so raw, they fight, they hurt each other, but they could never actually seperate for long.
Im looking forward to more chapters and extras. I wonder if this is a novel? I would def read it. 9/10.
Ok ignoring the current plot this was very good for me and I like it alot. I usually dont like childhood friends to lovers bc the authors hop right into romance and we usually cant even see what type of friendship they had prior. Here, you can see exactly what type of friends they were, and even when they finally date, they are still friends. Like minded childhood, shared hardships, knowing each other others personalities and habits, actually enjoying similar hobbies and even studying together and sharing their dreams and weaknesses. Before they were lovers, Yujae and Hanjun were without doubt best friends, not just bc the author said so, but actually showing it.
The characters were very realistic to me. The struggle with poverty, the pride, the embarrassment, the stress. Esp Hanjun, it rlly affected him and tbh never stopped affecting him. It was literally smth he had lived his whole life with and it showed in his interactions with others, whether he could buy new shoes, even go out to eat, or hand out with friends or join clubs. Reality. But even so, Hanjun was still very kind, a little prideful, but sweet and empathetic. His unrequited love was sad, but i understood why it had to be Yujae for him and why he couldnt give up. I esp liked that even tho he liked Yujae, he did not just let Yujae disrespect him. I dont condone violence, but Yujae would purposefully say hurtful words and Hanjun hit him twice and even threw ballons at him once. He also dares to confront Yujae when he is passivr agressive to him, and questions him about his intentions multiple times when Yujae is being sarcastic. I really liked this. Hanjun liked him, but it wasn't to the extent of lack of self respect. He cursed him out and hit him when he felt disrespected. He didn't just take it and feel sad. He got genuinely angry and he dished it right back. I rlly liked his character.
Now Yujae tbh...I actually liked him even more. This is not to say Yujae is a good person, in fact hes kind of a masters. But damn was his characterization interesting. A popular, charismatic guy that enjoys attention and being admired, but its just to satisfy his vanity. Actually, he likes to toy with others, doesn't care abt human relationships(unless its Hanjun), and is a bit manipulative. I feel like alot of authors who try to go this route dont write it well. But here, even thru Hanjuns pov, or maybe bc of his pov, Yujaes two faced nature is very intriguing. I liked how throughout the story, even when Yujae is angry, he smiles instead. His words become passive aggressive and he consciously puts pressure on others with overly blunt/seemingly kind words. I know ppl that speak like that in real life and tbh its super uncomfortable and it makes it hard to talk back to them. After all, they're smiling in your face, they appear friendly, but actually they're hostile(the scenes with the boy that liked the girl who had a crush on Yujae I liked alot. Yujae rlly dug up a.random memory to make fake friends with him wow) That is Yujae. He tries to put pressure on Hanjun using this throughout the book, but Hanjun knows him and knows hes being like that on purpose. Yujae can treat outsiders like that, but Hanjun knows him too well to let it slide.
Yujaes awakening to his feelings was slow and his mentality seemed confusing, but i liked the slowness and I even liked the reason for rejection at first. For him, his relationship with Hanjun is number 1 priority. As for friends, family, lovers, or even Hanjuns own romantic feelings for him, they are all put on the back burner for the maintenence of the relationship. Growing up in a household where his parents fought and used him as both a tool and collateral, he doesn't believe in romance. In his mind, lovers are temporary. His relationship with Hanjun is forever. So when Hanjun confesses, Yujae tells him to to clear his mind and come to him when he gets over it. This is temporary emotion to Yujae, but their relationship is permanent. He didn't expect that this would lead to Hanjun going no contact and leaving. It never crossed his mind their relatinship could end so easily. Hanjun was basically his whole world. He pays very close attention to Hanjuns family(frequently paying attention to his mother), his friends(he purposefully befriends Hanjuns friends), his hobbies(he joins all things Hanjun likes), and his emotions and health. Even when Hanjun hits him and friends advise him to break contact, Yujae just thinks they're bickering and they'll def make up.
Later, he did all the steps to get back into contact and return to how they once were. Some ppl might not like it but to Yujae their friendship was truly more important than any romance. He asked once did him not wanting to be in a romantic relationship with Hanjun mean that any ties they had and their bond was gone? Could it only be a romantic relationship or they couldn't be in contact anymore? And you know what thats what alot of these unrequited love stories make me question. Hanjuns feelings are valid, but their bond outside love is also valid. Later, Hanjun acknowledges this and says even if they aren't lovers, he cant live without Yujae. I liked this. When Yujae hears this, his attitude does a 180 and he considers them dating. I think this makes sense. Now that he knows he isnt being pressured into dating at risk of going no contact otherwise, that Hanjun does value their bond just like he does, he can calmly consider whether he likes Hanjun back. And he does! He always has tbh, but he needed time to like a guy, like his best friend, and try a romantic relationship he fears is doomed to fail based on his parents marriage.
The dating stage was so nice and watching them get used to each other in a new way was sweet. Also the sex scenes were so good! Hanjun is very fit and they're similar heights, which i rlly like. Yujae is a bit controlling in bed, which is to be expected given his personality. They worry about money, being together forever, living together. Yujaes concerns about keeping freshness(to the point of being celibate and limiting their sex life) are both silly, heartwarming, and sad. He thinks love is limited, so he tries to stretch out their love so it can last as long as possible. Hanjuns personality doesn't magically change when they date. He still tries to live within his means, while also trying to be good to Yujae. This causes him distress sometimes and gets angry sometimes. But now he has someone to share his worries and a vision of a brighter future eith the two of them together. The solution in the military chaoters for him to look at Yujae when talking and state if he is angry I feel is a good solution for Hanjun. He has a tendency to bottle up emotions by himself and then explode, so im glad they're working on that. The relationship between them is so real, so raw, they fight, they hurt each other, but they could never actually seperate for long.
Im looking forward to more chapters and extras. I wonder if this is a novel? I would def read it. 9/10.