Wow, heartbreaking. When I think of dark and twisted in the psychological genre, that's the kind of story I imagine. It's truly a thriller and it's difficult to call it BL as it stands for boy's love, and here we have anything but love...
The tragedy of three people who could've lived their happily ever after but couldn't because Minhyung destroyed it, the tragedy of Yijae losing his loved ones over, and over, and over again, and the fact Minhyung's ASPD probably happened to turn so severe because of profound childhood abuse and trauma, leaving you questioning if he and the whole situation would've turned out differently if he didn't experience the abuse, makes this story so painful to read. It leaves you with so many what ifs while shattering any illusions of hope that it could get better. It's pure horror that unfolds chapter by chapter, and it gets worse while the suspense grows increasingly. I was captivated by the plot!
Minhyung's attachment to Yijae is cruel, as cruel as his experienced early childhood attachment (or lack there of) and abuse, and Yijae, as loving and caring as he is, draws Minhyung's broken, yet deeply yearning inner child to that seemingly endless, unconditional source of empathy. Sadly, that tenderness and care he receives is twisted by Minhyung's egoistic need to take Namhyun's place and possess Yijae. His childhood explains it, and I appreciate how the story really gives us an insight into the reasons for Minhyung's extreme obsession and why he's so set on destroying any obstacle as to completely possess Yijae, not just stay by his side as his adopted brother - his extreme fear of abandonment, the violence, the trauma paired with his lack of remorse, his need to have someone of his own, not someone who could slip away like his mother did. The story really takes its time to let the psyche of both main characters unfold (and deteriorate), for the layers of their complicated bond to be peeled off, piece by piece, until we're left with the fact it's all based on guilt - Yijae's guilt resulting from his own delusions and the lies he tells himself to mentally cope with the grief (he doesn't want to lose yet another one, Minhyung, by accepting he is the reason his lover died), and his codependency as he'd otherwise have no one. In that regard, Minhyung accomplished his goal of isolating him fully, but failed to realize the consequences of it, or rather, what was outside of his control.
I also looove the dialogues here. I love how anticlimactic the revelation was as Minhyung explained why he did what he did, and how at its core, it is purely egoistical and cruel, fitting to someone who's traumatized ASPD. How that shattered any hope for Yijae that it was love or brotherly bonding. How Minhyung realized he has formed some attachment to Yijae beyond possessiveness as he jumped in to save him, in a moment he thought would be his last. Yijae's panic and pathetically heartbreaking pleading as he feared Minhyung would hurt people, the guilt tripping and gaslighting, how Minhyung let the mask slip and how cold, yet desperate he behaved afterwards. How Yijae's descent into "madness" was shown as he was locked up in the old apartment, and how Minhyung got increasingly more unstable, with his mood swings, suspicions, and aggressive outbursts that show his true colors (behind the persona substituting Namhyun, his immature self came through, almost as if emotionally due to the trauma, he was still stuck at the age where the abuse happened). And that ending - love it! The fact Minhyung went completely blind, like his mother, connected him back to his roots, where, on death row, he was reunited with Yijae, who I'm guessing clings on the last person in this world he sees as family. Minhyung not only was punished by the state, but also by his condition - he couldn't see the subject of his obsession, he couldn't connect with him outside of the little time they'd spend reading together. Fitting end, where there's no winner, but everyone loses, and somehow everyone is a victim of their circumstances. Minhyung is a very tragic villain, and the story sold his tragedy so well it got me feeling sorry for him in-between my pure disgust with him. Ugh, so sad, so BRILLIANT!
It's rare to see psychological BL bei written so well and not turn into some depraved, nonsensical violence porn, a shallow or cartoonish villain portrayal or just rape fetish. This story did not disappoint from start to finish.
RIP Hyeon, you were the ML Yijae deserved, but sadly didn't get.
Wow, heartbreaking. When I think of dark and twisted in the psychological genre, that's the kind of story I imagine. It's truly a thriller and it's difficult to call it BL as it stands for boy's love, and here we have anything but love...
The tragedy of three people who could've lived their happily ever after but couldn't because Minhyung destroyed it, the tragedy of Yijae losing his loved ones over, and over, and over again, and the fact Minhyung's ASPD probably happened to turn so severe because of profound childhood abuse and trauma, leaving you questioning if he and the whole situation would've turned out differently if he didn't experience the abuse, makes this story so painful to read. It leaves you with so many what ifs while shattering any illusions of hope that it could get better. It's pure horror that unfolds chapter by chapter, and it gets worse while the suspense grows increasingly. I was captivated by the plot!
Minhyung's attachment to Yijae is cruel, as cruel as his experienced early childhood attachment (or lack there of) and abuse, and Yijae, as loving and caring as he is, draws Minhyung's broken, yet deeply yearning inner child to that seemingly endless, unconditional source of empathy. Sadly, that tenderness and care he receives is twisted by Minhyung's egoistic need to take Namhyun's place and possess Yijae. His childhood explains it, and I appreciate how the story really gives us an insight into the reasons for Minhyung's extreme obsession and why he's so set on destroying any obstacle as to completely possess Yijae, not just stay by his side as his adopted brother - his extreme fear of abandonment, the violence, the trauma paired with his lack of remorse, his need to have someone of his own, not someone who could slip away like his mother did. The story really takes its time to let the psyche of both main characters unfold (and deteriorate), for the layers of their complicated bond to be peeled off, piece by piece, until we're left with the fact it's all based on guilt - Yijae's guilt resulting from his own delusions and the lies he tells himself to mentally cope with the grief (he doesn't want to lose yet another one, Minhyung, by accepting he is the reason his lover died), and his codependency as he'd otherwise have no one. In that regard, Minhyung accomplished his goal of isolating him fully, but failed to realize the consequences of it, or rather, what was outside of his control.
I also looove the dialogues here. I love how anticlimactic the revelation was as Minhyung explained why he did what he did, and how at its core, it is purely egoistical and cruel, fitting to someone who's traumatized ASPD. How that shattered any hope for Yijae that it was love or brotherly bonding. How Minhyung realized he has formed some attachment to Yijae beyond possessiveness as he jumped in to save him, in a moment he thought would be his last. Yijae's panic and pathetically heartbreaking pleading as he feared Minhyung would hurt people, the guilt tripping and gaslighting, how Minhyung let the mask slip and how cold, yet desperate he behaved afterwards. How Yijae's descent into "madness" was shown as he was locked up in the old apartment, and how Minhyung got increasingly more unstable, with his mood swings, suspicions, and aggressive outbursts that show his true colors (behind the persona substituting Namhyun, his immature self came through, almost as if emotionally due to the trauma, he was still stuck at the age where the abuse happened). And that ending - love it! The fact Minhyung went completely blind, like his mother, connected him back to his roots, where, on death row, he was reunited with Yijae, who I'm guessing clings on the last person in this world he sees as family. Minhyung not only was punished by the state, but also by his condition - he couldn't see the subject of his obsession, he couldn't connect with him outside of the little time they'd spend reading together. Fitting end, where there's no winner, but everyone loses, and somehow everyone is a victim of their circumstances. Minhyung is a very tragic villain, and the story sold his tragedy so well it got me feeling sorry for him in-between my pure disgust with him. Ugh, so sad, so BRILLIANT!
It's rare to see psychological BL bei written so well and not turn into some depraved, nonsensical violence porn, a shallow or cartoonish villain portrayal or just rape fetish. This story did not disappoint from start to finish.
RIP Hyeon, you were the ML Yijae deserved, but sadly didn't get.