FuckedMyWayUpToTheTop

This was a whole mess and a half tbh, the plot tried to be many things and it became mediocre at every front. I really tried liking it, it had some good aspects like the fact the MC did not budge when the ML who wronged and hurt him started his chase arc. But then the resolution to that was WAY too fast and tbh, we didn't see enough of the ML's inner world to understand why exactly he started falling for the MC he used to despise so much. We truly only saw the ML lusting after his face, his guiding energy and scent... But other than that, what would lead someone who hated the MC at the beginning and even gagged at him sacrifice himself, his pride and position to save him later on? What would make him so obsessed with him? Esper instincts? Lack of character depth. Also, I know it's kinda implied, but it still bugged me that we didn't truly understand what the ML experienced to warrant such hatred for male guides. That was a central part of the contention in the relationship between the mains, yet it wasn't touched on.

Also, the MC mentioned he had mild OCD, but we saw none of that. His avoidant attachment was more present though, but it makes sense given the ML treated him like shit, so was it really avoidant attachment or just a normal reaction to mistreatment? The MC had a rather realistic inner world tbh, at times even relatable. I like that we saw more of his thought process and why he pushed the ML away despite his aggressive advances. His walls at the end were slowly broken down by just a conversation with some random grandma though... Oh well. I did like that part though - about how he realized his love for the ML started surpassing the hatred, meaning there still was, rightfully so, a grudge, but that feelings still got involved, making it more complicated. The more disappointing it was to see how, on such a complicated foundation, their relationship progressed (I mean, we saw like two chapters of it, way too short) seemingly without much traction and push/pull. That cringe interview at the end... Lol. The ML is loveable at times. The MC here is the true hero though.

This was an okay read until the needlessly explicit (and as I found out, not even part of the novel!) rape and the constant overdramatic situations where either the ML or the MC was at the brink of death. The pace of this was off so each near death situation or even their intimate situations felt overall insignificant. Still, this story has its moments where it shines, especially the love-hate, bickering relationship between the ML and the MC, as well as the introduction of a time loop. I had a feeling tbh that the MC was Woojoo, I just didn't expect this to be the case because of a loop in time and space and was wondering how it was made possible... Well, a time loop makes sense for such a constellation.

The time travel aspect was an interesting addition to the plot, creating a time loop that acts as fate (so it makes sense the MC's future just stops, because it has to for the loop to continue) because for the past ML to survive, the future MC has to always appear and sacrifice himself, just for the older ML to save the future MC so the loop continues, up until the moment where future MC and the ML who has survived from the past can meet, kick-starting the loop yet again. What I don't understand is how MC's sister came into play during the MC's conscious loop, as he was about to die. Was it a hallucination? Was the sister alive at that time and sensing her brother was in danger cause she's a super badass esper?

I'm wondering how the story will handle the fact the present ML's interference with the loop will influence the timeline. Breaking the loop by saving present MC could mean breaking the loop altogether and continuing with the current timeline with them together (happy end) or potentially erasing the ML's existence as he wouldn't be able to survive without the MC who saved him in the maze gate and gave him directions and guidance. Or it could mean the erasure of their connection (let's say the ML still somehow survives the maze gate) because with saving the MC who's supposed to be Woojoo, they both would never meet and thus, form any imprint, connection or search for it in the first place, so they'd never have to cross paths. Or maybe that would mean MC and ML find each other naturally (through sync rate testing for example), without the ML searching for someone who never existed, creating space for them to imprint all over again within a linear time. I'm still curious to see how this unfolds.