FuckedMyWayUpToTheTop's activites

“…I want to sculpt you into a form that never changes.” In a city full of high-ri...

“…I want to sculpt you into a form that never changes.” In a city full of high-ri...

I love how at the end, Matthew underlines that Jin isn't just his muse, because muses are often reduced to their pretty or inspiring shell and robbed of their humanity. The gaze of the artist shapes them, they're not seen for who they are. Matthew however sees him and loves him in all his forms, sides, and flaws, he even gives him the opportunity to make it better by creating and entrusting him with the anti drug foundation. He loves Jin inside and out, everything about him inspires him as an artist, sure, but he also sees him as family. He's much more than a muse. He's the love of his life. Jin built him a house, too, just like he wished for at the orphanage. Both of their dreams did come true at the end, and they became family. Gosh, rereading this just because I needed the intense yearning again.

“…I want to sculpt you into a form that never changes.” In a city full of high-ri...

“…I want to sculpt you into a form that never changes.” In a city full of high-ri...

“…I want to sculpt you into a form that never changes.” In a city full of high-ri...

From Lezhin:Mokhwa, an unemployed, young man who wants to commit suicide, but he instead finds himse...

[Mature Audiences Only] Huimin Seo happened to read a tragic BL novel where the two main characters ...

[Mature Audiences Only] Huimin Seo happened to read a tragic BL novel where the two main characters ...

I just reread this with a more focused mind, and as a story, it has its very strong moments besides the annoying ones (like how Iheon, up until the end, NEVER respects Huimin's wishes during sex). Still, the concept is original enough to suck you in and overall, I really enjoyed it!

What I like the most about this is the fact the main characters in a particularly toxic BL novel become aware they're written characters in a setting made purely for reader's entertainment, bound in their inevitable tragedy by what they experience as fate, which is really plot written by a sadistic author who doesn't want to give their OCs a break. The existential horror of that alone is chilling to think about, and even more so the characters' realizations of who they are, like how Huimin from the drawings world realizes he's just the wishful projection of Huimin from the novel - that would've sent me into a spiral! But Huimin, as strong willed and brave as he is, isn't fazed by that. In typical Huimin fashion, he takes it with some humor and unwavering optimism.

Another horrifying part of the story is Huimin's dream world, as Inheon, in his final moments, I'm guessing through his desperate pleading with himself or fate to be able to go back and do things better, is transported into it. The fact Iheon slowly realizes, as he observes how things that don't serve a purpose anymore disappear, him and Huimin might disappear forever, too. His decision to send them back into the novel on one hand stems from his selfish possessiveness over Huimin as everything Inheon does, up until the end imo, is driven by his obsession (hence the title), but on the other hand, I can imagine his existential terror and the need to save them from dissolving into nothingness. However, Inheon's possessive nature isn't what could rewrite fate and create the happy end AU the author of Silence mentioned at the end - it's Huimin's will to reach ultimate happiness for everyone, because in this process, he was able to change Inheon for the better, and with that, he was able to prevent so much suffering from happening. Novel Huimin's dream world, carefree Huimin is the ultimate breakthrough out of this tragic horror, the continuation of novel Huimin's deep love for someone as cruel and abusive as Inheon. And that Huimin is the catalyst for everything, with his wit, brains, and endless kindness. His character is so proactive and truly drives the story, probably one of the coolest MCs I've read about so far!

Huimin counteracts Iheon's possessive, destructive nature with his kindness and carefree optimism, and his will to change the course of the story is ultimately what saves them all. Despite the fact Iheon seems tough with his thug persona, the cold, stoic look and emotional introversion, it's shown times and times again in the story that it's, in fact, all cover for cowardice. He's not as brave as Huimin, who is not only able to plan ahead (Iheon also knew what was going to happen, but he still let it and wasn't proactive at all), but was the one who was emotionally open and attentive enough to notice Inheon's feelings, too, and help him break out of his own one dimensional shell written by the author of Silence. Iheon just yearned and chased, without a goal, just complying with the endless cycle of a fate already written and decided just to keep Huimin around, while Huimin used his knowledge to create the best possible outcome for everyone. He's THE main character, and Iheon was just there.

Iheon, imo, despite Huimin's best efforts, hasn't changed in his core. His confession in the omega shelter felt genuine at first, but later on, in the epilogue, as he admitted to himself how controlling and possessive he truly is, to the point of not wanting Huimin to find out, that confession didn't seem as believable. In fact, I think Inheon was only able to change just to keep Huimin by his side, stemming from his obsession with him rather than wanting to become a better person as to not hurt him. Him not hurting Huimin was a means to an end, not the goal. For that, Inheon wasn't able to truly break out of the character written for him, but with how smart and kind Huimin is, he was able to work with that kind of possessive piece of shit. Hats off, Huimin lol. Still, Iheon's longing seemed almost painfully pathetic at times, and I can imagine it must've been very painful for him to realize he couldn't love Huimin the way he wanted to because it wasn't written out for him by the novel to become a good person for Huimin. Not an excuse for what he did, but definetly a plausible explanation. So the fact he was able to live years on end in a world that stops in time when Huimin isn't nearby, where stuff disappears, just to grant him his wish only after they've died in the novel, was the first true attest to his love beyond the novel-written obsession imo. That was the moment novel Iheon transformed, where a tiny space inside him was opened, with the potential to move beyond his script in Silence, and probably the reason why he was receptive for positive change as dream world Huimin entered the novel and tried to make him better.

Iheon was the canvas, Huimin was the brush and paint. Iheon had to let Huimin paint - by trusting him, and Huimin could paint because Inheon decided to start trusting and believing in him. And so the obsession turned cozier, with Huimin's colors and light. As Iheon put it, the light to his darkness.

[Mature Audiences Only] Huimin Seo happened to read a tragic BL novel where the two main characters ...

"Kwon Jiwook's monotonous daily life takes an unexpected turn at a club meeting when he be...

“Do you know me?” A simple question was enough to change the trajectory of Lee Ha-kyung&...

Jeong Jiheon, a once-promising swimmer, retired early due to an injury and now works diligently at a...

Koo Hojin, who constantly falls for people to a fault, and Baek Yoosung, the authoritative and arrog...

Thinking of all the "wholesome" or "romantic" stories with pushy af MLs, and the authors who butcher them. It's not that hard to write a character who, shocker!, stops right before sex as to check in on his sex partner, who cares about his sobriety and ability to consent after they've drunk, AND doesn't sulk about stopping in the middle of sex, try to force him, or just does whatever he wants. It can be done!

So far, this has been intriguing, and from the spoilers I've read, it's not as straightforward as it seems, and I do enjoy a super twisted, dark thriller manhwa, but it still irks me how porny, smutty and steamy actual brutal rape is drawn. Like it's made for readers to get off to it. I wish the dark tone of the story was kept especially during those graphic rape scenes, without the typical BL smut visual formula of showing super detailed penetrative inside shots, overflowing liquids, blushing, etc. This is anything but hot and steamy BL smut, it's fucking torturous rape and it should be shown as such.

"I don't remember Juyeon doing this shit."

Right, he simply drugged you, raped you, blackmailed you, then beat you, raped you again until you bled, and then started manipulating you and controlling your life. Suuure, he's so much better than the rapists he probably hired to punish you.