So, after I finished this manhwa I was left with very heavy frustration, disappointment and overall, a mess of very negative emotions and repulsion because of the ending, just like how most readers here felt. But I do need to get this off my chest after all.
I understand that there are very diverse perspectives of this story, and Doyak did a very good job executed the narrative, the art direction, and the story telling.
But I cannot help but feel bitter and sad about Ian decision. Ultimately, I wanted Ian to prioritise himself, start over, leave everything behind, and work on himself. Because it really doesn't matter if Ian will end up with someone or not, to me the ultimate ending is Ian finding himself, finding his own purpose, embrace his past, and allow himself to be in a healthy relationship. You can say it is boring, and tasteless. But to me, having Ian ended up going back to a man that trapped him, stole his future, chose his own legacy of money and power over Ian, just to realize in the end what he actually wanted, is just infuriating.
A coward, a man that was too blind by his own desires. TJ was a good character because he made me feel such deep hatred. He took what he wanted, while keeping Ian at a distance, but always make sure that Ian is always there for him. Ultimately selfish, and childish. I have come to hate him as a person, even when he is just a character. I sympathized with him, and I understood TJ, and I hated him.
Ian and TJ are two individuals bonded heavily through shared traumas, while growing up together in a world of poverty, violence and a system where those with power rules. Which is why I cannot say I don't understand Ian's decision. It is always more comforting to go back to what you know, to what you are used to. He was trapped and had grown too attached to the only person he bonded to emotionally and physically, while being knees-deep in a life of constant bloodshed.
Even when Ian was no longer active in the organization, while working off the debt he has with TJ, he is still deeply intertwined, because TJ never intended to let Ian go. Now that I look back on the story, I think Ian has seen Jo as his escape, as what he has always desired to have with TJ. At the same time, he does not feel deserving of Jo, of a guy who has never killed for money, with no family, nothing but a life mingled with crimes, danger, and an obsessive childhood friend with benefits. As I am writing this, I cannot help but feel sad for Ian. He wasn't able to move on like he could. He came back to a man that destroyed him. But probably will never leave him. Because TJ has seen Ian at his worse, at his rock bottom, at his most vulnerable, and vice versa. Ian will never have to be afraid of telling Jo about him getting drugged and SA, about his dirty, bloody past, and risk disappointed Jo to know what a foul person Ian truly is, a criminal, an orphan, a nobody. There is no need to try, no need to go beyond his comfort zone. All Ian needs to do is to have faith and believe that TJ and his enemies from his past gang-life will not catch up to him. Ian has witnessed what love feels like, look like. A look of the normalcy he never had. But it is too far away. It is not a world Ian think he belongs to, a world that he is too dirty to step in and ruin it. Because he is afraid he is no longer capable of maintaining that normalcy. Because the day he killed that man without feeling a single thing, Ian may think he is never capable of that normalcy again
At least that is what I think. In the end, it is nothing but another cycle. Things could have been different. But that is the nature of all humans. We don't like the unknown, we always have regrets, we know what are good and bad for us, but we chose to have faith that this time things will be different. But in the end, it is just another way of escape, another perpetuating cycle of hope and disappointment.
To be honest, this interpretation of mine may be completely false, and the message Doyak is trying to send may be completely different. And I cannot lie that I am simply angry and bitter of the story's ending.
But after this, I made amends with this manhwa for what it has made me feel.
So, after I finished this manhwa I was left with very heavy frustration, disappointment and overall, a mess of very negative emotions and repulsion because of the ending, just like how most readers here felt. But I do need to get this off my chest after all.
I understand that there are very diverse perspectives of this story, and Doyak did a very good job executed the narrative, the art direction, and the story telling.
But I cannot help but feel bitter and sad about Ian decision.
Ultimately, I wanted Ian to prioritise himself, start over, leave everything behind, and work on himself. Because it really doesn't matter if Ian will end up with someone or not, to me the ultimate ending is Ian finding himself, finding his own purpose, embrace his past, and allow himself to be in a healthy relationship.
You can say it is boring, and tasteless. But to me, having Ian ended up going back to a man that trapped him, stole his future, chose his own legacy of money and power over Ian, just to realize in the end what he actually wanted, is just infuriating.
A coward, a man that was too blind by his own desires.
TJ was a good character because he made me feel such deep hatred. He took what he wanted, while keeping Ian at a distance, but always make sure that Ian is always there for him. Ultimately selfish, and childish. I have come to hate him as a person, even when he is just a character. I sympathized with him, and I understood TJ, and I hated him.
Ian and TJ are two individuals bonded heavily through shared traumas, while growing up together in a world of poverty, violence and a system where those with power rules. Which is why I cannot say I don't understand Ian's decision.
It is always more comforting to go back to what you know, to what you are used to. He was trapped and had grown too attached to the only person he bonded to emotionally and physically, while being knees-deep in a life of constant bloodshed.
Even when Ian was no longer active in the organization, while working off the debt he has with TJ, he is still deeply intertwined, because TJ never intended to let Ian go.
Now that I look back on the story, I think Ian has seen Jo as his escape, as what he has always desired to have with TJ. At the same time, he does not feel deserving of Jo, of a guy who has never killed for money, with no family, nothing but a life mingled with crimes, danger, and an obsessive childhood friend with benefits.
As I am writing this, I cannot help but feel sad for Ian. He wasn't able to move on like he could. He came back to a man that destroyed him. But probably will never leave him. Because TJ has seen Ian at his worse, at his rock bottom, at his most vulnerable, and vice versa. Ian will never have to be afraid of telling Jo about him getting drugged and SA, about his dirty, bloody past, and risk disappointed Jo to know what a foul person Ian truly is, a criminal, an orphan, a nobody. There is no need to try, no need to go beyond his comfort zone. All Ian needs to do is to have faith and believe that TJ and his enemies from his past gang-life will not catch up to him.
Ian has witnessed what love feels like, look like. A look of the normalcy he never had. But it is too far away. It is not a world Ian think he belongs to, a world that he is too dirty to step in and ruin it. Because he is afraid he is no longer capable of maintaining that normalcy. Because the day he killed that man without feeling a single thing, Ian may think he is never capable of that normalcy again
At least that is what I think.
In the end, it is nothing but another cycle. Things could have been different. But that is the nature of all humans. We don't like the unknown, we always have regrets, we know what are good and bad for us, but we chose to have faith that this time things will be different. But in the end, it is just another way of escape, another perpetuating cycle of hope and disappointment.
To be honest, this interpretation of mine may be completely false, and the message Doyak is trying to send may be completely different. And I cannot lie that I am simply angry and bitter of the story's ending.
But after this, I made amends with this manhwa for what it has made me feel.
It was a good read.
Thank you Doyak.