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Okay guys, whether you have read the novel or not, (AND if you have), trust the process. I know the whole thing seems toxic, and crazy, and literally does not make sense. But it will in due time. Like it will makes sense, and this will be the best peak of peak you guys have ever stumbled upon (this is me just exaggerating). All I'm going to say is, don't read the spoilers, and just know, if there's smoke there's fire. I am normally a pretty stingy b*tch with money. But this is the first ever manhwa that had me spending money to buy at least 20 CHAPTERS of the novel now because how good it was.

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For those who have caught up with the novel. I just want to say despite how messed up Ian's actions were. I have to say, if I have gone through the same things that he did. I would do the same thing. Yes, he shouldn't have targeted and toyed with an innocent person, like Michele (I think I got his name wrong but wtv). But you need to remember, Ian, was also an innocent person, an innocent CHILD. That didn't ask to be born as a bastard, didn't ask to be born into a world that will hate, criticize, despise, and hurt him just because of his mere existence. I think I am being quite protective of Ian here, and maybe a bit biased because I can sympathize with him, and I can see myself in his situation. And also because hey, maybe some of you just didn't read the story and just want to express your opinion, that's fine.
Yes, going through a shitty life, does not give you an excuse to be a shitty person, but it kinda does when you keep thinking to yourself: "Why me, why just me? Why everyone allows to live a happy and carefree life, while I will remain damaged and filthy?" The world is not a black, and white concept. There is no absolute right or wrong. There are nuances. This story is morally grey (at least for me), and if you are looking for a righteous, healthy and upright story of overcoming obstacles, with characters that had healthy upbringing, and mindset with loads of self-awareness (which is absolutely great), but this story will not be for you. I understand where the frustration is coming from but again put on your thinking hat and try to put yourself in the shoes of the characters here, because personally I think their behaviours have depth and layers.

Honestly I cannot find it in me to sympathize with Jihyun as a character. But I really love the story and the message the author has put through. They pretty much display outright what is love. Love should not be obsession. Love should not be forced. Love should be mutual. And love should be to reflect on oneself, to stay true to your feelings,, and most of all, to let go.

They really have shown how the characters really learn to love, the thing school never taught you how to. Every single character, Chiwoo, Jihyun and Kyujin, represents both the beauty and the ugliness, stems from love.

Jihyun represents the ugly and messy side of love.

When someone does not know how to love, when the only emotions and expressions they learned was violence, and aggression. He developed an unhealthy obsession with the object of affection he was receiving and directing towards to. Alongside with his own insecurities, thinking he is not enough to keep Chiwoo, the object of affection for Jihyun, to stay. So he desperately tries to isolate Chiwoo as a way to make him stay, and to make Chiwoo need him. Not knowing how to express himself, his frustration, his yearning. When things do not go his way. He uses the only thing he knows to solve his problems, and make people around him obey - violence. He blames others for his own actions, to avoid taking accountability, to feel justified for doing what he did, to protect his only source of affection, Chiwoo. I really like his growth at the end of the main story. It really shows the complexity of his character, and how he too learned to love. Not just a walking red flag that the Mc Chiwoo left for the better option. It really shows he is too someone capable of changes no matter how attached he was to Chiwoo.

Now Kyujin. I really dont like how the general opinions of Kyujin is just he is a better option. The author really shows, and outrightly portrays Kyujin as someone "similar" to Jihyun in Chiwoo's perspective. But the similarity is ONLY in the way they are pretty much cling to Chiwoo. But everything else?

Kyujin represents the more healthy, beautiful side of love I dare say.

He was an open book, through and through. Never forceful, very sensitive towards Chiwoo feelings. Respectful, and most important of all, literally ask for Chiwoo's consent for literally everything. Someone who grew up in a healthy, well educated environment. He knows how to love someone properly, the very thing Jihyun never knows how to. I REALLY LIKE how the author portrays the disparity between Jihyun and Kyujin environments growing up. Because despite Chiwoo seeing them as similar, the author said "no they do not". Kyujin is not just a green flag option. He represents the healthy side of love. Because lets be honest, he also has a borderline obsession by the way he is willing to put up with literally everything Jihyun puts him through. It was not easy and he is not a saint either. He wants Chiwoo attention just as much as Jihyun.
But the beautiful thing here is, Kyujin was willing to reflect on himself, willing to make a fool of himself, to blame himself and take accountability for his actions. He never puts the blame on Chiwoo for the things he had to go through while pursuing Chiwoo as a love interest.
Well sad thing is, a well, healthy and self aware character is a boring character for most readers. Because there is no tension compares to the walking red flag. But I really like how the author shows the contrast in the ways characters choose to express their love, whether it is faulty or healthy.

As for Chiwoo. Damn he had it rough. Because honestly I keep thinking about it would turn if this were to be a real scenario. Because lets not ignore all the signs of borderline depression symptoms he experienced throughout the story. Dare I say he has to relieve the experiences of witnessing the people he cherished got hurt right infront of his eyes TWICE by his abuser? (I am very sorry but Jihyun though he has grown as a character I still consider him as an abuser by his past actions.) .
Chiwoo is basically the receiver of these situations. But if I were to put myself in his shoes. He never had any romantic experiences, hell does he even know his own sexual orientation? I keep wondering how he can forgive Jihyun so easily. Was it love, too? Affection, attraction? Was he also afraid of Jihyun at some point, by staying close with him, keeping him at bay so he does not hurt more people around him? Was he just that kind? Trying to keep the beast targeting him instead of others knowing full well Jihyun affection towards him? Perhaps even guilt, pity and comfort. It was hard for Chiwoo to accept Jihyun love when he is not even aware of his own. He was confused, worried and deeply afraid, but also seeks comfort in the affection Jihyun shows him. He cannot refuse Jihyun but cannot also accept him. Tbh this is getting too long but. Omg im so just so satisfied with the way Chiwoo come to terms with his own feelings. He decided to not dwell and simply let go. As human beings, emotions are complex and sometimes its hard to comprehend them. Love can coexist with hate. Chiwoo, someone whom always but the sake of others above himself. Afraid making them feel "uncomfortable", questioning whether it was his "fault" that Jihyun behaved the way he did. Outrightly blamming himself for what happened. He chose to prioritize himself, his peace, by letting go.
It was for himself, but also for Jihyun, as he wished that Jihyun can start over, can move on, can someday understand that "Oh, I can love without having to make them stay, without afraid that I will be not enough to make them love me forever."

It was a beautiful story chat. Sorry for the rant. I just love this story so much. Kudos to the author.