ccccccc's Topics (7)

So, after I finished this manhwa I was left with very heavy frustration, disappointment and overall, a mess of very negative emotions and repulsion because of the ending, just like how most readers here felt. But I do need to get this off my chest after all.

I understand that there are very diverse perspectives of this story, and Doyak did a very good job executed the narrative, the art direction, and the story telling.

But I cannot help but feel bitter and sad about Ian decision.
Ultimately, I wanted Ian to prioritise himself, start over, leave everything behind, and work on himself. Because it really doesn't matter if Ian will end up with someone or not, to me the ultimate ending is Ian finding himself, finding his own purpose, embrace his past, and allow himself to be in a healthy relationship.
You can say it is boring, and tasteless. But to me, having Ian ended up going back to a man that trapped him, stole his future, chose his own legacy of money and power over Ian, just to realize in the end what he actually wanted, is just infuriating.

A coward, a man that was too blind by his own desires.
TJ was a good character because he made me feel such deep hatred. He took what he wanted, while keeping Ian at a distance, but always make sure that Ian is always there for him. Ultimately selfish, and childish. I have come to hate him as a person, even when he is just a character. I sympathized with him, and I understood TJ, and I hated him.

Ian and TJ are two individuals bonded heavily through shared traumas, while growing up together in a world of poverty, violence and a system where those with power rules. Which is why I cannot say I don't understand Ian's decision.
It is always more comforting to go back to what you know, to what you are used to. He was trapped and had grown too attached to the only person he bonded to emotionally and physically, while being knees-deep in a life of constant bloodshed.

Even when Ian was no longer active in the organization, while working off the debt he has with TJ, he is still deeply intertwined, because TJ never intended to let Ian go.
Now that I look back on the story, I think Ian has seen Jo as his escape, as what he has always desired to have with TJ. At the same time, he does not feel deserving of Jo, of a guy who has never killed for money, with no family, nothing but a life mingled with crimes, danger, and an obsessive childhood friend with benefits.
As I am writing this, I cannot help but feel sad for Ian. He wasn't able to move on like he could. He came back to a man that destroyed him. But probably will never leave him. Because TJ has seen Ian at his worse, at his rock bottom, at his most vulnerable, and vice versa. Ian will never have to be afraid of telling Jo about him getting drugged and SA, about his dirty, bloody past, and risk disappointed Jo to know what a foul person Ian truly is, a criminal, an orphan, a nobody. There is no need to try, no need to go beyond his comfort zone. All Ian needs to do is to have faith and believe that TJ and his enemies from his past gang-life will not catch up to him.
Ian has witnessed what love feels like, look like. A look of the normalcy he never had. But it is too far away. It is not a world Ian think he belongs to, a world that he is too dirty to step in and ruin it. Because he is afraid he is no longer capable of maintaining that normalcy. Because the day he killed that man without feeling a single thing, Ian may think he is never capable of that normalcy again

At least that is what I think.
In the end, it is nothing but another cycle. Things could have been different. But that is the nature of all humans. We don't like the unknown, we always have regrets, we know what are good and bad for us, but we chose to have faith that this time things will be different. But in the end, it is just another way of escape, another perpetuating cycle of hope and disappointment.

To be honest, this interpretation of mine may be completely false, and the message Doyak is trying to send may be completely different. And I cannot lie that I am simply angry and bitter of the story's ending.

But after this, I made amends with this manhwa for what it has made me feel.

It was a good read.

Thank you Doyak.

I am not one to be picky when it comes to artstyle, as long as its easy on the eyes. But is it just me or the ears of the characters in a few panels were really well drawn but then got completely like deleted?? Like where is the beautiful line work?? Does this have something to do with scanning errors during translation?? If someone can please droplink to the raws I would really appreciate it, thank you.

For the people that complain about the slow progress. I understand how you are feeling, but feeling impatient to read the next chapter and dragging an author's hiatus due health issues are two very different things. You don't know them, you don't know what is going on behind the scenes. You don't know what they may be experiencing and even suffering from. You are not them.
Additionally, you are reading this beautiful manhwa for free, on a pirate website, without having to pay money to read it. But the author is sacrificing time, physical and mental effort and maybe even money to create art and deliver a good story, probably knowing (or not) about this. We should appreciate that instead of dropping the entire work, the author is taking the responsible step to take care of themselves and continue the story we all want to read till the end.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. But I don't think it is so bad to be a little bit more understanding.

Okay guys, whether you have read the novel or not, (AND if you have), trust the process. I know the whole thing seems toxic, and crazy, and literally does not make sense. But it will in due time. Like it will makes sense, and this will be the best peak of peak you guys have ever stumbled upon (this is me just exaggerating). All I'm going to say is, don't read the spoilers, and just know, if there's smoke there's fire. I am normally a pretty stingy b*tch with money. But this is the first ever manhwa that had me spending money to buy at least 20 CHAPTERS of the novel now because how good it was.

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For those who have caught up with the novel. I just want to say despite how messed up Ian's actions were. I have to say, if I have gone through the same things that he did. I would do the same thing. Yes, he shouldn't have targeted and toyed with an innocent person, like Michele (I think I got his name wrong but wtv). But you need to remember, Ian, was also an innocent person, an innocent CHILD. That didn't ask to be born as a bastard, didn't ask to be born into a world that will hate, criticize, despise, and hurt him just because of his mere existence. I think I am being quite protective of Ian here, and maybe a bit biased because I can sympathize with him, and I can see myself in his situation. And also because hey, maybe some of you just didn't read the story and just want to express your opinion, that's fine.
Yes, going through a shitty life, does not give you an excuse to be a shitty person, but it kinda does when you keep thinking to yourself: "Why me, why just me? Why everyone allows to live a happy and carefree life, while I will remain damaged and filthy?" The world is not a black, and white concept. There is no absolute right or wrong. There are nuances. This story is morally grey (at least for me), and if you are looking for a righteous, healthy and upright story of overcoming obstacles, with characters that had healthy upbringing, and mindset with loads of self-awareness (which is absolutely great), but this story will not be for you. I understand where the frustration is coming from but again put on your thinking hat and try to put yourself in the shoes of the characters here, because personally I think their behaviours have depth and layers.

Honestly I cannot find it in me to sympathize with Jihyun as a character. But I really love the story and the message the author has put through. They pretty much display outright what is love. Love should not be obsession. Love should not be forced. Love should be mutual. And love should be to reflect on oneself, to stay true to your feelings,, and most of all, to let go.

They really have shown how the characters really learn to love, the thing school never taught you how to. Every single character, Chiwoo, Jihyun and Kyujin, represents both the beauty and the ugliness, stems from love.

Jihyun represents the ugly and messy side of love.

When someone does not know how to love, when the only emotions and expressions they learned was violence, and aggression. He developed an unhealthy obsession with the object of affection he was receiving and directing towards to. Alongside with his own insecurities, thinking he is not enough to keep Chiwoo, the object of affection for Jihyun, to stay. So he desperately tries to isolate Chiwoo as a way to make him stay, and to make Chiwoo need him. Not knowing how to express himself, his frustration, his yearning. When things do not go his way. He uses the only thing he knows to solve his problems, and make people around him obey - violence. He blames others for his own actions, to avoid taking accountability, to feel justified for doing what he did, to protect his only source of affection, Chiwoo. I really like his growth at the end of the main story. It really shows the complexity of his character, and how he too learned to love. Not just a walking red flag that the Mc Chiwoo left for the better option. It really shows he is too someone capable of changes no matter how attached he was to Chiwoo.

Now Kyujin. I really dont like how the general opinions of Kyujin is just he is a better option. The author really shows, and outrightly portrays Kyujin as someone "similar" to Jihyun in Chiwoo's perspective. But the similarity is ONLY in the way they are pretty much cling to Chiwoo. But everything else?

Kyujin represents the more healthy, beautiful side of love I dare say.

He was an open book, through and through. Never forceful, very sensitive towards Chiwoo feelings. Respectful, and most important of all, literally ask for Chiwoo's consent for literally everything. Someone who grew up in a healthy, well educated environment. He knows how to love someone properly, the very thing Jihyun never knows how to. I REALLY LIKE how the author portrays the disparity between Jihyun and Kyujin environments growing up. Because despite Chiwoo seeing them as similar, the author said "no they do not". Kyujin is not just a green flag option. He represents the healthy side of love. Because lets be honest, he also has a borderline obsession by the way he is willing to put up with literally everything Jihyun puts him through. It was not easy and he is not a saint either. He wants Chiwoo attention just as much as Jihyun.
But the beautiful thing here is, Kyujin was willing to reflect on himself, willing to make a fool of himself, to blame himself and take accountability for his actions. He never puts the blame on Chiwoo for the things he had to go through while pursuing Chiwoo as a love interest.
Well sad thing is, a well, healthy and self aware character is a boring character for most readers. Because there is no tension compares to the walking red flag. But I really like how the author shows the contrast in the ways characters choose to express their love, whether it is faulty or healthy.

As for Chiwoo. Damn he had it rough. Because honestly I keep thinking about it would turn if this were to be a real scenario. Because lets not ignore all the signs of borderline depression symptoms he experienced throughout the story. Dare I say he has to relieve the experiences of witnessing the people he cherished got hurt right infront of his eyes TWICE by his abuser? (I am very sorry but Jihyun though he has grown as a character I still consider him as an abuser by his past actions.) .
Chiwoo is basically the receiver of these situations. But if I were to put myself in his shoes. He never had any romantic experiences, hell does he even know his own sexual orientation? I keep wondering how he can forgive Jihyun so easily. Was it love, too? Affection, attraction? Was he also afraid of Jihyun at some point, by staying close with him, keeping him at bay so he does not hurt more people around him? Was he just that kind? Trying to keep the beast targeting him instead of others knowing full well Jihyun affection towards him? Perhaps even guilt, pity and comfort. It was hard for Chiwoo to accept Jihyun love when he is not even aware of his own. He was confused, worried and deeply afraid, but also seeks comfort in the affection Jihyun shows him. He cannot refuse Jihyun but cannot also accept him. Tbh this is getting too long but. Omg im so just so satisfied with the way Chiwoo come to terms with his own feelings. He decided to not dwell and simply let go. As human beings, emotions are complex and sometimes its hard to comprehend them. Love can coexist with hate. Chiwoo, someone whom always but the sake of others above himself. Afraid making them feel "uncomfortable", questioning whether it was his "fault" that Jihyun behaved the way he did. Outrightly blamming himself for what happened. He chose to prioritize himself, his peace, by letting go.
It was for himself, but also for Jihyun, as he wished that Jihyun can start over, can move on, can someday understand that "Oh, I can love without having to make them stay, without afraid that I will be not enough to make them love me forever."

It was a beautiful story chat. Sorry for the rant. I just love this story so much. Kudos to the author.

Reincarnation narratives were never really my cup of tea before. But this story has done a great job with how realistic and overall impressive the storytelling has been.

The mc is someone I want to root for, the character building is at least for me in top tier range, and the artstyle? Out of this world.

Honestly I thought I was going to get bored relatively quickly by the time Moondae finished his first mission. Because at that point I thought the story will just drag out.

But I was pleasantly surprised, hooked, obsessed and everything in between.

Truly a masterpiece, I cannot wait for the next season.

im gonna be real with yall. im so sick of this. I get it, they are fictional men and this is a fictional world. The story is amazing dont get me wrong cause im deadly obsessed with this manhwa BUT I FEEL SO DISSAPPOINTED CAUSE WHAT TT. I was hoping for major character developments or shifts between Ian and TJ or Ian and Jo or even better both because I feel like this is the right time to see where this story is going. BUT SERIOUSLY WTF, TJ my man saw Ian and the first thing is what S3X??? BRO COME ON THERE ARE SO MUCH GOING ON LIKE WHAT.

I dont know maybe I am just deadass delusional and I dont understand their dynamics or whatever the fck, but you cannot tell me after EVERYTHING that they have went through. I still cannot believe not a single thing about their relationship (TJ and Ian) has changed. And it is just so strange to me that they can do the deeds when bro Ian literally fed up with mafia sh1ts and made promises to himself and implicitly to Jo to start anew, while TJ came to terms to let go of Ian and move on with his legacy.

I know they both obsessed with each other and s3x is the only language they can communicate in BUT COME ON.

I think I was just expecting too much. Maybe im the dramatic one.

PLEASE TELL ME THAT CHAPTER 80 DOES FEEL WRONG BECAUSE LIKE HOW DO YOU GET IN THE MOOD TO EVEN FCK CHAT I DONT UNDERSTAND I NEED CHARACTER DEVELOPEMNT. IM NOT EVEN FCKING HORNY ANYMORE JUST WIFBSISBWJQBWW