mochinoona

Lol I totally agree that this is an overused shit trope but bros got stuff of his own. Doesn't all revolve around "getting rejected"

I don’t really think it’s about getting rejected though. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think it’s obvious Bans been groomed since he was a kid, and he doesn’t have any prior family that we know of. So Ray was the one he looked up to. What he felt for Ray was probably just a deep affection that he didn’t really understand. When he confessed, what Ray should have done was sit him down and explain to him why this feeling might not be love In the way he thinks but maybe affection in an admiration kind of way. But instead he had sex with him. That connects the dot that love = sex, or that being loved means to have sex. He confessed with flowers and Ray didn’t reject him, but he had sex with him. And now Rays being distant. Having sex is probably something he thinks is love and being cared for, even if he doesn’t enjoy it. So I don’t think this is at all because he’s depressed from being rejected. I don’t think that even covered the surface of it. Hope this doesn’t come off as rude, just trying to share a bit of my own understanding!

It's all good. The reason I don't think it's those things you mentioned is because it's implying that his body is the only thing he can control. This young guy has control over his life, but somehow he feels like he doesn't. So he uses sex to have control of something.
If he thinks sex= love or deep affection, he wouldn't be sleeping around.
If it's just sex is just sex, he is already saying "I don't care", which is very apathetic and likes it "rough". This dude doesn't care about himself and if it isn't for "depression" or some sort of mental illness, I don't know what it could be.

wow, this was worded so well like damn. You’re right there In some aspects, but the thing is, I said that because either then Ray (and now shinwi) he doesn’t have anyone else that we know of. Ray hasn’t accepted the feelings and only uses Ban for his body. I believe, of course this is not fact, but I believe that this particular day he slept around because he wanted move on after Ray forgot the birthday he gave Ban. I mean that says enough about the impact Ray has had on Bans life. He took him in and gave him a birthday.

And just a reminder, he was drunk and the men knew and brought him to have sex first. So I don’t think your depiction of him being a “depressed whore” is actually okay to say after this particular chapter. I think this is actually rape.

After being groomed I don’t believe he has the solid foundation to work off that love is not just sex. I’d say he knows it’s wrong and is aware it’s wrong, because he’s expecting more from Ray, but that doesn’t mean the damage isn’t there. Maybe he’s sleeping around to try and grasp a better understanding of WHY Ray just has sex with him. Maybe he’s even trying to get better at sex just to please Ray because he means so much to Ban. We can believe the first time he had sex was with Ray, because in the previous chapter where we saw him asking Ray out, he looked conflicted when they had sex. He said it hurt, and then he asked “does this mean Ray likes me too?” Seeing the flowers in the trash after was shitty too. You called him depressed because he got rejected, but in the last chapter he said he’d be okay if Ray rejected him too.

His sexual preferences of liking it rough doesn’t automatically mean that he is depressed either. You’re right though, it doesn’t seem like he cares about himself or his pride and that could be because of a mental illness, or just because he doesn’t value his body enough because he never thought it was worth enough to begin with. But originally I was just trying to say that I believe his depression is not “just because he got rejected” and that there’s layers to it.

Lmk what you think, I’m curious to learn more and I could be wrong here too. Half of what I said wasn’t really necessary so I apologise for the long winded reply. again I hope I’m not coming off as rude in any way, I enjoy the conversation :)