Hi, I’ve read the novel…. It’s basically
Audience: how long will our girl suffer???
Author: yes.
-i can give spoilers if anyone wants some-
SPOIL SPOIL SPOIL
yessss
Pls give spoiler
Grab your popcorn.
SPOILERS AHEAD!!!
The following chapters are heartbreaking to read/see. Thalia loses her ability to walk properly forever. She becomes a cripple who can barely walk a mile and she limps a lot too. Not only that, her legs become completely disfigured, she is then treated as an ugly monster by most people who sees her disfigured legs.
Due to the accident that happened to her, the emperor, Thalia’s father, forces Varkas to wed Thalia in order to take responsibility for his failure to protect her. Varkas accepts it immediately. And Thalia later decides to go through with it too. They later move to the east, Calmore/Kalmor.
So they get married. Thalia was often shunned and targeted by the nobles of Calmore. Whenever a problem arose, they were quick to attack Thalia and the fact that she became the grand duchess instead of the promised princess, Ayla. Of course Varkas would often shield her but they would someone fight about it too. Note, Thalia’s venomous personality really explodes during the first few chapters of their married life… not until… Thalia gets pregnant.
For some time, the novel becomes really warm and cute and lovable. Thalia finally lets her guard down and accepts Varkas’s love. Varkas also starts to slowly warm up to her too, seeing her happy now that she was pregnant. Thalia fiercely swears to love her child and to never be like her mother. For the first time in this story’s history, we get happiness from the main leads.
(Newsflash: I recommend reading the novel or follow the manhwa to get to this point! It is absolutely beautiful. It’s also better to read it yourself because I will be skipping some scenes and other stuff out. If you do not like the ending, that’s alright. You can read up to the part you are satisfied with in the story.)
Thalia struggles a lot with the pregnancy. Her build is very small, her legs are crippled, she struggles more than a normal pregnant woman does. And for that… she starts to go into labor earlier than normal. Varkas sprints to her but is stopped midway through, having to listen to Thalia’s screams and agony. Once it stops, he pushes inside and finds Thalia on the bed, very worn out and looking like death himself is holding her life on a thread. Varkas’s eyes trail up to the horrified midwife swaddling a blanket of what is supposed to be his child. The child is stillborn. And died before it could even see the light. Varkas stares at the swaddled blanket without a shred of emotion on his face, when cold fingers tug his hand…
Thalia: baby…. my.. baby… why… not… cry..? Varkas…?
This was the most heartbreaking part and marked the end of the happy chapters they had during her pregnancy. After the loss of the child, Thalia goes into a coma for a short while. She wakes up and becomes a little crazy. She cannot accept the fact that her child is gone. She tries to force Varkas to have another one with her due to the pain of losing her child she absolutely goes mad. She would always hear a crying infant echoing through the Raedgo Castle, and would often follow this voice to her baby’s grave. She would start to sleepwalk wailing. And she started to continue using drugs to keep herself asleep. Varkas was heartbroken to see her that way.
Lots of heartbreaking stuff happens, but I’ll leave that to when you guys read it for yourself :3
During her grief, she hears the cries of the infant again and runs towards it… she finds soldiers killing wolf pups since they were monsters that could get out of hand if left alone to breed endlessly. Her eyes lands on this one pup that is being dragged by a soldier and upon making eye contact with this wolf pup, she decides “that is my child” she fiercely protects the pup and begs the soldiers to let her keep it. It stirred a lot of trouble but sooner or later they just left it alone. She wholeheartedly believes the wolf pup is the reincarnation of her child. Since it had the same eyes as Varkas. And its eyes were filled with emotion, like longing. Thalia absolutely loves this beast like her own and she starts to become happier. She plays with the beast, it protects her, the wolf gets bigger and mightier too.
Later on, the wolf bites Varkas’s brother and that caused a major problem. The wolf was hunted down and Varkas himself hunted the wolf and shot it down. Although it was not shown how he killed it, or if he actually killed it.
Thalia goes back into her crazy ways after losing the wolf and even curses Varkas to die on the battlefield.
After some time, Thalia overhears two people that she knows arguing in the woods. She’d followed them out there after seeing them suspiciously going into the woods. She overhears that the crown prince had paid one of her servants that were in charge of her medicine to continuously poison her, making her child stillborn. Filled with anger, the wolf jumps out of the bushes and kills that healer then and there.
Varkas is kept in the shadows of this issue.
Fast forward again, Varkas is away, he was dispatched to a place where they expected enemies to go through. But turns out, they were given false information. And the enemies were already at Calmore, attacking its citizens and on the way to Raedgo Castle, where Thalia is. Varkas only realized later and called off his men to try and get back to his castle. When they get back they find the enemies slowly eating away at the castle walls. They get into a full out war but they were heavily outnumbered. Suddenly, wolves come out of the forest and starts killing the enemies. They fight alongside the wolves. The castle walls were slowly getting destroyed, boulders were thrown into the castle, and the wall starts to collapse, crushing everything underneath it. After a long while into battle. The enemies retreated, though they killed the majority, there were still some that got to escape.
Varkas enters the castle and finds most of the villagers inside the castle walls. Then he spots a large crowd circling around a fallen part of the castle. There he finds his sister, horrified, her eyes filled with tears, not being able to process what just happened, she was on the ground, like someone had pushed her. The villagers were wailing out in tears. It was then when he was informed… Thalia was under that large debris of rocks. It turned out, Thalia and Varkas’s sister were together when a boulder hit the walls and started to fall down on them. Moments later, Thalia pushed his sister out of the way and the rocks piled on top of her. Varkas jumps onto removing the pile and looking for Thalia, followed by the horrified knights. Then when they find her… she was no longer in that world. She was no longer breathing. She was once again stuck inside a pile of rocks… but only this time, it had finally claimed her life.
It turns out after the attack started to take place, Thalia’s quick reaction saved the majority of Calmore. She opened the gates and hurriedly pulled in villagers into the walls, saving most of the people. And apparently, during the time Varkas was away, she’d frequently went into town and made friends along the way, the people of calmore had started to like her way before then. So when tragedy struck and she was the first to take charge to protecting the people, she was already seen as a hero instead of the villain that she was painted as. That made her death all the more heartbreaking.
People mourning her death went on for a very long time. All shops closed and her casket was overflowing with thousands of flowers by the time she was to be buried.
Varkas kept going like a hollow shell. He reconstructed the walls, continuing with his life… only thing was he was no longer the same. He lose a lot of weight. No longer eating nor sleeping. Using drugs to force himself to rest a bit. And continuing on his duties as the lord. Just slowly killing himself. Grief was eating away at him and he didn’t know what that emotion was. He couldn’t cry. He couldn’t even shed a tear seeing his stillborn child, he didn’t know how to.
Later on the twins visits. The crown prince tries to dissuade Varkas to get back to his side and remarry Ayla. Ayla acts all coy too, saying she’d forgive Varkas for marrying Thalia and that she wouldn’t mind marrying him.
Somewhere along the lines, the crown prince curses Thalia. And that made Varkas go OFF. He goes ballistic and tries to kill the crown prince, when he was held down by knights, he screams out not to touch a single hair on Thalia or he’d kill him then and there. That was when it was revealed that Varkas has indeed gone crazy. He still believed Thalia was still alive. The crown prince screams at him and tells him to get himself back together and reminds him Thalia is GONE. The twins leave asap since Varkas was unstable.
Then suddenly he hears Thalia’s nanny was making a fuss and trying to take Thalia’s belongings claiming they had to be returned to the empress where they belonged. Varkas goes to her room and fiercely threatens the nanny who is then thrown out of the castle. Varkas is left alone in Thalia’s room. Her room was left the way it was before she passed. He starts to sort out her things the way Thalia would’ve liked it. While sorting things out, he finds her diary. It was filled with entries. He reads everything Thalia writes down. The book was the only thing where Thalia would write everything she was thinking of. All the things she’d often hide. He’d read them all. Sobbing. Uncontrollably sobbing his eyes out.
After reading all of her diaries, he was filled with guilt. He goes to her grave that was right next to their child. There, the wolf he’d previously shot comes out and stares at him in sadness. Like it knew what he was feeling at that moment. He realized his wife was right. The wolf’s eyes looked exactly like his. Soon after, the wolf starts to bare its fangs at Varkas. Completely given up on the world, he looks at the wolf and allows the wolf to kill him. The wolf shreds Varkas to pieces.
Then after the agonizing pain, everything goes silent. His eyes start to flicker, upon waking up, he sees himself being dragged by a soldier across the dirt. He hears himself let out a lowly whimper. The soldier looks at him with distasteful eyes and grips his sword, as if about to attack him. Then, he hears a shriek. A woman. Screaming. The woman runs to him and hugs him. Protecting him from the soldiers. The woman pleads with the soldiers to stop and leave him alone. Then the woman looks at him. They lockeyes. It was Thalia. She’d come back to him. She’d found him and protected him. Only thing was he felt smaller than he actually was.
Fast forward, he finally realizes he’d become the wolf pup. The wolf pup who his wife had taken in while he was away in the battlefield. His wife’s delirium saying the wolf was their child wasn’t true, but wasn’t entirely false either. It wasn’t their child in the wolf pup, it was him. Varkas. The lord of the east.
He soon accepts his reality and fiercely protects Thalia. He was named Khan by Thalia. Only thing was, sometimes his wolf instincts would become uncontrollable. Though he is usually behaved, there were times he couldn’t resist his instincts. Like his inner self and the wolf were fighting within him. Then he started to grow enormously fast. And that scared the nobles and people of calmore. He is often targeted by people. Soon, a dead body was found in the woods. He was blamed for it and Thalia would often defend him. It would be enough to keep him safe but soon after, he’d bite his own brother in the neck. It was to protect Thalia.
It was when the human Varkas came home after hearing the news of his brother being close to death due to Thalia’s wolf. The wolf then runs off somewhere even Thalia isn’t aware of. She begs the human Varkas to leave the wolf alone but due to the nobles pushing for Khan’s death after harming his own brother, even Varkas couldn’t do anything to save it. That was when Thalia condemned Varkas to die.
Varkas sets out to hunt for the wolf. He finds it in the woods and shoots at it. It hit the wolf and the wolf was unmistakably close to death. Then and there, the scene cuts. We cannot tell if Varkas killed the wolf or not. But we already know he didn’t kill the wolf.
But due to the high stakes profile of the wolf being the attacker of the grand ducal family, wolf Varkas could not easily go to Thalia to protect her. He could only hide and let his wounds heal.
He goes through it again, the enemies strike again, Thalia dies again, even after becoming a wolf who knew of the future, he still couldn’t prevent Thalia’s death. Soon after, full of pity and anger. He finds human Varkas in front of Thalia’s grave. Deathly pale as he was. Varkas looks at Khan. Stares at his eyes and realizes their eyes did look similar. It was when his wolf instincts kicked in and bared his fangs. Varkas lets the wolf kill him and so he did. Then the cycle repeats. Instead of truly dying, Varkas's soul is thrown back in time—but he doesn't wake up in his own human body. He wakes up as a weak, dying wolf pup in the mud.
Trapped inside the wolf's body, Varkas retains his memories but cannot speak or reveal his true identity. He is forced to watch Thalia's life in real-time from a completely different perspective. He sees firsthand how deeply lonely she is, how cruelly the castle servants and nobles treat her, and how much she blames herself for their broken marriage.
It is a curse born entirely out of Varkas's absolute despair, forcing him to become the very creature that guards Thalia when his human form failed to do so.
spoilers are here
granted
Thank you ヾ(❀╹◡╹)ﾉ~
You’re very welcome (⌒▽⌒)
No way that's so sad TT Do they ever break the cycle?
Yeah did they??
How long is she gonna suffer??? Like god damn it’s every chapter