Part 4 of analysing Passion’s detail& psychology. For context, go to the previous parts on my topic profile.
• “Why did Ilay demand that Tae say “I’m yours”?”
I think he wanted to satisfy his emotional needs by hearing Tae say ‘Tae is his.’ with Tae’s own mouth. He can't accept that ‘Tae wasn't his’ when Ilay desperately wanted him to be or at least Ilay wanted to fool himself that Tae was.
REMEMBER him saying “Words deceive even oneself.”? Ilay also used to self-talk saying “Tae, you’re mine” and that Ilay has to be aware of it to CONVINCE HIMSELF. BUT NOW his own words alone weren't enough anymore to fill his emotional void, so he WANTED/NEEDED TAE to say it. I mean…from his POV: hearing Tae’s confession got his hope up, then realized it was false hope, so now, his self-talk wasn't enough anymore without Tae’s words.
Ilay’s always fooled by Tae’s words before, so he wanted to use that fact to his advantage to fool himself that ‘Tae was his’ by hearing Tae say it and also calm himself down from wanting to kill Tae. (I’ll explain more soon) when Tae spoke what Ilay demanded the first time, Ilay knew what Tae’s inaudible words meant; but he still insisted:
“Again. So I can hear you properly.”
See? He just wanted to hear it so he can be satisfied even if it’s forced.
Sth like this: “I always get deceived and believe in your words. Say it, so I can hear it, Tae, so I can believe your words and believe that you're really mine.” Get it? (OMG I just realized even the time when Ilay forces Tae to say “I like you.” was also bc he needed Tae’s affection so much; he was willing to settle for Tae’s confession that was meant for Xinlu! And now was also the same! Ilay wanted to hear Tae’s words, so he could use Tae’s words to convince/fool himself that Tae liked him to calm his desperation and feel the love he needed. That bastard istg) •[Extra on the “You’re mine’ part”]
In ch. 101: Tae asked him: ”You’re the one who need to be aware of it! Not me! Why is it that am I yours?”
Ilay responded: “I thought about it and it was the only conclusion I could draw. I have a hunch but I don't have solid evidence to work with.”
This probably meant that Ilay noticed how Tae always treated him differently from others and would even pity/worry about him. Tae saw him in a way that was different from how others saw him and Ilay never fully understood it either. But Ilay liked that. Regardless of whether Tae said “I despise you.” Ilay thought that Tae’s words didn’t match how Tae still treated him well. (It’s mostly just Tae’s personality). He still continues to believe that ‘Tae was his’ (translated to ‘Tae liked him to.’)
When Ilay heard Tae confess for real, and not Ilay’s delusion, he experienced that love for real. Only to feel lied to later on. So his self-believe doesn’t work no more, he wants Tae to say it…or he also wants Tae to remember it.
•[Extra Details on the arm hug] Notices how Ilay always demands Tae to wrap his arm tight around his neck? Yeah bro’s insecure about Tae’s feelings for him and he needed to feel that affection when he thinks Tae is distant. He always demanded that Tae tighten his grip. +”What affection?” Tae said everytime he does that, he felt like he was pulling him in by his own will. Ilay probably wanted to fool himself into thinking Tae likes him too by making Tae do that. To Ilay, the tighter the hug was, the more intense the love felt. So it can distract him from the truth. +”What intense love?” Ilay always expressed how much he liked Tae by how tightly he hugged Tae. Even the recent scene where he told Tae “You’re mine” in the novel, Tae said felt that Ilay hugged him so tightly. And a few other scenes too.
In conclusion, he’s practically just demanding things from Tae bc he’s desperate even if it means fooling himself.
Part 4 of analysing Passion’s detail& psychology. For context, go to the previous parts on my topic profile.
• “Why did Ilay demand that Tae say “I’m yours”?”
I think he wanted to satisfy his emotional needs by hearing Tae say ‘Tae is his.’ with Tae’s own mouth. He can't accept that ‘Tae wasn't his’ when Ilay desperately wanted him to be or at least Ilay wanted to fool himself that Tae was.
REMEMBER him saying “Words deceive even oneself.”? Ilay also used to self-talk saying “Tae, you’re mine” and that Ilay has to be aware of it to CONVINCE HIMSELF. BUT NOW his own words alone weren't enough anymore to fill his emotional void, so he WANTED/NEEDED TAE to say it. I mean…from his POV: hearing Tae’s confession got his hope up, then realized it was false hope, so now, his self-talk wasn't enough anymore without Tae’s words.
Ilay’s always fooled by Tae’s words before, so he wanted to use that fact to his advantage to fool himself that ‘Tae was his’ by hearing Tae say it and also calm himself down from wanting to kill Tae. (I’ll explain more soon) when Tae spoke what Ilay demanded the first time, Ilay knew what Tae’s inaudible words meant; but he still insisted:
“Again. So I can hear you properly.”
See? He just wanted to hear it so he can be satisfied even if it’s forced.
Sth like this: “I always get deceived and believe in your words. Say it, so I can hear it, Tae, so I can believe your words and believe that you're really mine.”
Get it?
(OMG I just realized even the time when Ilay forces Tae to say “I like you.” was also bc he needed Tae’s affection so much; he was willing to settle for Tae’s confession that was meant for Xinlu! And now was also the same! Ilay wanted to hear Tae’s words, so he could use Tae’s words to convince/fool himself that Tae liked him to calm his desperation and feel the love he needed. That bastard istg)
•[Extra on the “You’re mine’ part”]
In ch. 101: Tae asked him:
”You’re the one who need to be aware of it! Not me! Why is it that am I yours?”
Ilay responded:
“I thought about it and it was the only conclusion I could draw. I have a hunch but I don't have solid evidence to work with.”
This probably meant that Ilay noticed how Tae always treated him differently from others and would even pity/worry about him. Tae saw him in a way that was different from how others saw him and Ilay never fully understood it either. But Ilay liked that. Regardless of whether Tae said “I despise you.” Ilay thought that Tae’s words didn’t match how Tae still treated him well. (It’s mostly just Tae’s personality). He still continues to believe that ‘Tae was his’ (translated to ‘Tae liked him to.’)
When Ilay heard Tae confess for real, and not Ilay’s delusion, he experienced that love for real. Only to feel lied to later on. So his self-believe doesn’t work no more, he wants Tae to say it…or he also wants Tae to remember it.
•[Extra Details on the arm hug]
Notices how Ilay always demands Tae to wrap his arm tight around his neck? Yeah bro’s insecure about Tae’s feelings for him and he needed to feel that affection when he thinks Tae is distant. He always demanded that Tae tighten his grip.
+”What affection?”
Tae said everytime he does that, he felt like he was pulling him in by his own will. Ilay probably wanted to fool himself into thinking Tae likes him too by making Tae do that. To Ilay, the tighter the hug was, the more intense the love felt. So it can distract him from the truth.
+”What intense love?”
Ilay always expressed how much he liked Tae by how tightly he hugged Tae. Even the recent scene where he told Tae “You’re mine” in the novel, Tae said felt that Ilay hugged him so tightly. And a few other scenes too.
In conclusion, he’s practically just demanding things from Tae bc he’s desperate even if it means fooling himself.