Thanks for the family tree/diagram. I was confused about the marriage order. I thought...

She gave up custody to the grandpas while she was single and likely unable to financially support Satoshi well. It was probably a very difficult decision for her, but what she thought was best for Satoshi. Teppei was in an entirely different situation; he was much older, and his dad was abusive.

She probably would have taken Satoshi back far sooner, but the grandpas kept moving around without telling her. Until her ex's funeral, she had no clue how to contact them and there was little she could do. The police wouldn't be able to do anything, because the grandpas were the legal guardians. Private detectives have to have a starting point, and the regular moves would have still made it challenging to find Satoshi.

Hi Spazcat,

Actually, she gave custody to Akira and not the grandfather or the great-grandfather.
She did not know that the grandfather and great-grandfather were raising him.

She found out that Akira did not raise him after Akira’s funeral.


Now here is my statement to yours:

So, to recap, she gave up custody of one son because it was too expensive to raise him, but took another son because it was easy/cheaper to raise him [because of his age]...

(That still does not make sense).

It's hard to raise child period!

Children don’t get easier to raise with age.

And they don’t get cheaper with age.

Each period of a child’s life have different benefits and challenges. A sixteen year olds don’t stress you any less than a six year olds, there’s just a different type of stress.

Okay, she give up her child (that’s understandable, some people have to and will do it, and I’m not judging that), but she did not visit him, or stay in contact with him period. I’m am judging that.

She completely gave up her parental role.

Now, if a parent wants to give up their parental role, I am okay with that because some people should not be around or raise child; trust me.

But, Sanae is not in that category.

She was perfectly capable of raising Satoshi (example: she raised Teppei).

So, again, she raised one son, but disappeared completely from another son’s life…-- this had nothing to do with finances, but it has everything to do with the person.

You can be with someone without financially support them.

Visitation is just as important as child support.

You can visit them or just call them.

Hell, email them or write them a letter. There are so many ways to stay connected.

No one told her she had to go completely out of Satoshi’s life, she choose to go.
Okay, let’s us your words and go with your premise, okay, she could not financially support Satoshi (me: ...), but what keep her completely out of his life?!

As far as the grandfather and great-grandfather moving a lot, if she had an actual relationship with them (a plan, an agreement, an understanding, and clear goal of staying in Satoshi’s life) in the very beginning then that (them moving a lot) would not have been a problem.

If she was in Satoshi life, even if he was living with his grandparents, it would not have mattered if they moved. Because she would have been in contact with them, knew about the move, and been able to adjust, and still been in his life the best she could.

But having an actual relationship with Satoshi would have took all four adults sitting down, and acting like adults (or at least how adults should act, but never, well rarely, do).

But, she did not, nor did Akira, and nor did the grandfathers (who thought it was best to tell a child that their mother died)…

There is no excuse for this, they were just “childish” (btw, this term is unfair the children…), ignorant, irresponsible, and petty.

Just because a couple breaks up, does not mean that the child (or children) disappear. It does not mean that the parents stop being parents.

The grown-ups should have stepped up and they did not.

Again, this (divorce and a kid’s health issues, Akihito’s) is when family should get together and help out.

Yet, everyone’s response was to close-up and leave without communication.

Satoshi and Akihito are brothers, period.

I don’t really like the “half” term anyway, because people misuse it.

Being half-brothers should not affect their relationship, (my “half-brother” fully gets on my nerves, and again we just met) and their relationship should not be depended on who Akira is or is not married to, Satoshi and Akihito’s relationship should always be constant.

Family is not just based on a marriage status.

Divorces happens, deaths happens, moving happens, illnesses happens, and families change, but they are still family.

And let me make this clear, I am happy she took Teppei. I don’t have an issue with that, no child should be in an abusive/violent home (I could get personal, but I won’t).

I don’t have a problem with her taking Teppei, I don’t have a problem with her adopting Teppei (I want to adopt to and I have adopted family members).

And I definitely don’t believe in this “blood above all” crap!

Families are not always blood-related.

You are born with some people as family, and you chose some people to be your family.

But, she still left Satoshi. And there is no excuse for this.

She could have raised both son and, yes, it would have been difficult. But she still could have.

Now, I personally believe she left so that Teppei and Satoshi would not be raised as brothers. Because their destiny is to end up together.

…But, she still left her son though :( .... !!!!!

-That’s all!

Yes, it's long...

From what I read, it was more the grandfathers' fault than Sanae's. She let Akira take the child because she had to work to financially support herself when they divorced and wouldn't be able to take care of him without putting him in child care facilities. Since he was just 3, she thought it would be better if he had a full family. But Akira's other wife refused to take the child in and the child was left with the grandfathers. By the time Sanae found out, the grandfathers moved. They didn't stay in touch with her and she couldn't find them. I'm not sure what they were running away from but cutting people off and lying that they are dead seems to be a habit with them. Also, seems like they were probably a couple and liked the idea of bringing up a child together. Basically, not Sanae's fault. Also, as you can see, once she found Satoshi, she was so desperate to get him back that she took him home, cleaned up a room for him and tried to convince him to stay. She even agreed to take on Akihito's tuition and let him stay with her too, just so she could have Satoshi with her. She still has his favorite toy from when he was 3 kept safely. If she's willing to go that far, it's unlikely that she didn't put all efforts into finding him earlier.