There’s no way to break off this relationship a healthy way, I’m surprised you even wrote that message at the bottom considering you talked about feelings of wanting manipulate and destroy them. I know it sounds harsh but if they ignore your feelings all the time, it might be time for you to ignore their feelings.
Keep it plain and simple, you want to break it off because the ‘relationship’ you have is not working out and it probably never will be. Don’t say yes if they ask for another chance, it may be tempting but I promise you’ll regret it. Ignore they’re that insistent on it, make a list of the pros and cons of breaking up with them; don’t show anyone’s and keep it to yourself so you’re able to everyone expose every single aspect of the relationship and not feel embarrassed about it all.
When you do break it off, be glad you did and not wallow in the good memories; take more care of yourself and become someone you know you’re gonna be proud of.
Ohhh my gawd baby, stop torturing yourself and just let thIs person go. They are toxic to you and your wellbeing. It sounds like they are using your existence only when it’s convenient for them. They might say “I love you” but they actually only love feeling needed. I don’t know everything, so I’m not saying I’m right but I’ve been through a thing like this.
I was in an online relationship for 6 years. I adored this person, I loved this person so so so much, I did everything for this person, I dropped my family and friends to spend time with this person online. In all those 7 years, this person not once came to visit me and always gave me some excuse that I fell for. We were thousands of miles away from each other, yet I was just told the same things everyday and I believed them. They had a bad temper and would often start arguments and when I argued back, everything I said was invalid. When they got mad, they would ignore me for days, then expect me to give them all this love and attention and they wanted to be on top of my list. The most important thing in my life. Of course, I gave it to them because I loved them. They said a few sweet words and I was all in. Around and around we would go.
When I broke up with them, they pretended to be okay. They wanted to remain good friends and wanted me to treat them the same (they wanted all my love and attention still...ugh) I said no, they got mad and hung up and we never talked again. This only happened last year and I’m 29 years old. I’m telling you, I’ve never been happier and more free. Now I’m just focusing on the most important person, me.
It didn’t take me long to realize that I don’t miss them...I missed the love and attention for a bit, but you know what? Life goes on and I’m doing good. As much as I didn’t want us to end on a sour note, they were the one who got upset in the first place because I wanted to be free and they wouldn’t let. Liiiike....bye dude, if you just want to keep me on this invisible chain because I’m so fucking nice. You don’t deserve me or my heart.
Honey, you deserve better and I think you know it too. There is no easy way of breaking up with someone. You just have to do it, because you will only be miserable and angry at yourself for not doing it sooner, the longer you wait. Best of luck to you.
Not my cup of tea but tea is still tea.
Why do you even care abt him anyway? From your story... I think he doesn't even care abt you.... Just break it off... From this relationship you are the only one who is affected..... not him... So it's best to forget about him.... I know it's hard to that... But you have to do it to move on.... Cuz you will have lot of time in your life ..... And stop wasting your time by thinking abt him.... It won't do good to you....
Thank you to everyone who read and answered/gave me advice and to the person who shared their story.
I will do it.
Thanks a lot.
╥﹏╥
Oh...
I just realized that I made some grammatical mistakes and I accidentally revealed my sex/gender.;;;
I was trying to hide it.
Anyway, thank you again to users who read and replied. ^^
Okay, so, I'm in a relationship with this person whom I've known for years and I want to break up with this person. We are in relationship for more than 4 months. We first met at school on our early puberty (this person is a year older than me). We were in the same class for a year. Our classmates used to tease us back then. I had a crush on that person during that time. That's actually how and why they teased us a lot. Then after that school year, I had to come back in my hometown, which is really far away from where they reside. We were friends and then became close friends, exchanged messages. I still had a crush on that person for almost 5 years, until that person asked me to block them on the social media site that we were using to exchange messages. That person insisted. I was asking, I kept asking them why they want me to block them. But that person doesn't really want to tell me the reason. I was really desperate. I want to understand why they want me to block them. Then I just blocked them because they really want me to and talking about it, reasoning doesn't do anything.
After that, we haven't contacted each other for more than 7 months. I stopped going to school because I was really sad. And that person are one of the reasons why I stopped going to school, why I'm living my life like this. I don't even know if it's bad or wrong to blame them.
Then, after more than 7 months, they finally contacted me on the different social media site. I moved on. I recovered until that person contacted me after a while. I'm not feeling as bad as before, few months after I blocked that person, as asked. I forgot to mention, we were bestfriends for a few years. Our relationship degraded to being friends or close friends because that person said that they doesn't want to be bestfriends with someone in opposite sex because "Bestfriends in opposite sex always fall in love", they're refering to romantic/eros love. I just agreed but it made me feel sad.
I felt angry, upset when they contacted me after a long time. I thought they already bid their farewell. I thought they will never come back. I thought they hate me.
I didn't open the message but I can read the content on the inbox. I don't want it to be marked as seen because I don't want to cause a misunderstanding. I didn't reply right away because I was upset and I don't want to say something unpleasant. I wanted to cool my head before giving a reply.
I finally replied, greeted them in a happy, bright, and sunny way after almost a month since the time they sent a message. That person said that they miss me. I don't know, it somewhat pissed me off but it kind of made me feel special. For a few weeks, we were exchanging messages again like old friends. But there's something different. It was all fun compared before. That person was too childish but I'm having fun teasing that person so I didn't think too much of it. Yeah, I was having fun teasing them. Throughout the the chat, all that time, he seems lonely. Well, it was during vacation so I guess it's normal. So, I told my sibling about them. I created a group chat for me, my sibling, and that person. We talked about random and fun things in that group chat. We played some games. But sometimes, I blow up, I express whatever I'm feeling on that group chat.
That person actually seems to be displeased about me expressing, opening up my feelings and thoughts in that group chat. That person told me to just create a twitter account and post them there. I considered making a twitter account but it doesn't seem like a good idea for that and I told them about that. I was glad that my sibling understood. My words doesn't seem to take effect on that person. I'm also glad that my sibling explained for me. It actually did hurt me when that person seem to dislike me talking about what I feel, my problems, etc. Then after a few days like usual, in the chat, then I just sent a message saying that there's someone I like but that person doesn't like me back or feel the same way for me. I was cut back by that person and that person asked me to be their lover. That person was probably assuming that I have some romantic/intimate feelings towards them.That person sent a long-ass message with unnecessary stuffs and information about our relationship(friendship/acquaintance), my full name (which isn't really my full name), their name, etc. asking to be in an intimate relationship with me.
Of course, I was in the mood of fooling around as usual but I pity them. I always do since after that long time without contact. All because that person always seem to be lonely. Even in chat, social media, in personal, that person seems like a lonely person. Well, they are a lonely person. It's their own fault anyway as to why they are feeling lonely. I accepted it right away anyway. But I said some things like consequences, etc. That person is okay with it, they say so I accepted it. I'm now in a relationship with that person.
I then realized later after a few minutes or an hour that I just dug my own grave. I was in a horrible mood for days, weeks, regretting jumping into this kind of relationship and being in a relationship with that person. It is entirely my fault. After getting into this kind of relationship with that person, we've been arguing a lot, getting into conflicts. Most of the time, that person is really snappy and is irritable - one of the major reasons why we argue a lot. I was guessing that it's because that person wasn't and isn't able to go outside for months due to that person's "strict" guardian and parent. He can't even speak for himself. I told that person that he should talk about it to his guardian and parent or do something about it. But that person isn't listening to me. That person even rant about them being strict. That person is an adult. It's really upsetting talking with that person. And my guess is right. That person is in a horrible mood because they are locked up(?)inside their house for months and isn't meeting, interacting, socializing with people outside. Since the day that I started regretting being in a relationship with that person, I've always thought of ways and plans to break up with them, to get out of this relationship. During one week or less being in a relationship with that person, I thought that it was still too early to break up and I don't want that person to blame me and themself as to why his first relationship failed. And also, I do not want to be the cause or reason why they will struggle in their future relationship and I do not want them to hurt themself because of it. So I thought of waiting until they finally go to school, meet people, find people or the person they are and will be interested in.
Well, oh well, it's happening now. That person seem to be in a better mood now than before. That person became busy too and now even attracted to, had a crush on someone their type. That person even stopped sending messages to me for more than a week.
It's good.
It was good. It's pissing me off, to be honest.
Now, I stalk their twitter and their diary on wattpad. That's how I knew that they have a crush on someone ideal to them. I knew it before they told me that they have a crush on someone.
And I have to be honest. I'm angry, I'm upset. I do not know what I'm feeling because these emotions, these feelings are not very familiar to me.
I wanted to manipulate and destroy that person. These feelings grew stronger as time passes, as I know more that their life is better than before, while our relationship is falling apart.
I'm unconsciously stalking their social media account more often than before. The more i read, the more informationI find, the more I want to destroy them. Everyday, every hour, I think of hurting them, torturing them, making them cry and beg and destroy them.
Everyday.
I really hate this. I really hate this feeling. I feel like I'm trapped. Well, I'm already feel like I'm trapped since the day after I entered this relationship. But it's worse than before.
I really did dug my own grave. It got this deep as time has passed and it's getting deeper.
I did talk about breaking up with them before but they do not want to break up with me.
Sometimes, from time to time, I ask about meeting up in person. But this person always use their strict guardian/parent as an excuse. It's pissing me off. It's so annoying. It's irritating. That person isn't doing anything to meet up with me or go on a date or to improve our relationship. We never went to a date. They always asked, told me to wait. Now that that person's now going to school, they now have an opportunity to go out, make friends, and even at least meet up with me or go on a date. But nothing's happening. Didn't even contact me. Their attention's all on their friends and the person they has a crush on and also on his diary on wattpad and the series that they are working on. If they have time to update that series, tweet on twitter, go out and have fun with their friends, they should even give time, invest, make an effort in our relationship. I feel like I'm the only one who is actually making an effort in this relationship. They're even the ones who asked to be my lover.
This person is someone important to me. I knew this person for years. I want to break up with this person but I do not want to be a bad influence to his future relationships and I do not want this person to hold a grudge against me. I want to settle this relationship peacefully, in a good, healthy way. But I'm pretty sure that they will not meet up with me even if I have to and even if I use force. We haven't seen each other in personal for more than a year now, actually. The only way to break up with them is through online. And also, if I call or video call with them, they will hang up anyway. I don't want that person to ignore me or cut me off mid-sentence.
Please help me, give me some tips or advice on how I should and in what way I should break up with this person.
(I would like to delete this when the problem is solved, but there's no such feature)
To my lover,
If you are reading this, I'm sorry. I think it's best for both of us to break up. I do not feel loved by you even if you told me that you love me. I loved you. I love you but I hate you at the same time.
Send me a message when you read this.
Also, only send me a message when you've cooled your head.
Please.