Sexuality Question

Nope I've never fallen in love, in fact I have a hard time even understanding what love is. When I was growing up I dated a lot of guys and in my mind they were basically good friends that I liked sleeping with. In their minds we were in a loving relationship. I never understood that the way I was feeling was different from what they were feeling and in the end it caused a lot of problems and some harsh break ups. I've actually had three guys propose marriage to me and each time I was like what? I don't even really like you...marriage are you crazy? I will never get married. lol

But yes Willow on Buffy is one of those big ones, everyone talked about how great Joss was about bringing in gay characters and making Willow gay. Even though in canon she was completely in love with Oz and Tara. Which basically screams she be BI! lol

There is a great novel that came out recently, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe, which is about two young boys who become friends and learn to be more. And it's highly stated in the story over and over again how they are gay. Yet they also state how they both enjoy kissing girls and kissing boys. *face palm* Again if you like both, you're pretty much Bi. Not Gay! Why can't authors and writers and media just nicely use the term.

Freddy Mercury, lead singer of Queen. Completely and openly BI. Known by everyone as Gay. *cries*

Oh well it's getting better as time goes on and the internet starts to trump the erasure! lol

Ugh yeah even within the GLBT+ community people will be so harsh to them. But it's all just a matter of preference, same as being gay is, or pan, or bi, demi, hetero, etc. I don't get why people have such a hard time understanding things

Wow! You've really opened my eyes. That's so weird that authors/media don't use the term "Bi". I had always though Freddy Mercury was "Gay" as well.

lol I use that one a lot, I do for people who are worried about their genders too. People are fluid, you do not have to fall into someones preferred categories. I am a girl and I love wearing guys clothes, that doesn't make me a trans. I'm not a girl who wants to be male, I just like guys designed clothes. Because honestly I find like 90% of female clothing lines are horrible sexualized. And that just ticks me off. I can't even buy a t-shirt if it's for girls because chances are it's practically see-through, is tight on my breasts, has an exposed breast line and cuts my underarms up to expose as much of my chest as it can. Then I put on a guys tshirt and it's think and fluffy and warm and loose and makes me feel comforted.

Oops went off topic there. lolol

I totally agree! Female clothing is always tight and the sizes are always too small as well. I mean, what even is a "Size Zero"?. But it exists. Categories are overrated.

More and more celebrities are coming out as Bi, but I bet you I can name some and you'll be shocked because the media portrays them as straight or gay. hehe One of my favorite games is to contact the authors and be like, why exactly did you run away from using the term bi? Or demi-sexual? or pan sexual? Rarely do the answers not make me very sad assuming the author responds at all. Twitter and Tumblr makes it much easier to get people educated at least. lol

You're probably right. I mean I just recently found out Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox are Bi, I think. What do the authors say in response???

Exactly! I always say don't think that labels are strapped to you with permanent ink. It's more like writing a note to yourself with a magic marker. Today I feel I am this, tomorrow that could change. Or I could take a shower and it could get all blurry. I might rewrite it again after that, or I might write something else! Because I can!

Woah! That was a really easy explanation. I really liked that.

I've received answer from some authors telling me that their characters are gay that they were never any indications of bisexuality. I've received messages stating they felt like gay was more relatable. *cries inside a bit* I've received messages stating if I didn't like how it was written I didn't have to read it. I've received messages stating that once you fall in love with someone you're no longer bisexual you've chosen. *face palm* It can be very difficult sometimes to not want to punch people in the face for adding to bi-erasure just through their actions to try to bring about awareness for others. In some occasions I do get get authors who are like, I didn't even realize I had written something that showed they might be bi. Which I can get,I can sit there and be like ok! I understand now why you didn't use the term. In your mind they were never going to be bi so you didn't see any of the stuff you were writing that makes my bisexual mind go, oh they're like me!

Harsh. Do you know any characters (especially in TV shows), where they're proclaimed Bi and are not oversexualized? I never see any really.

Oh I was going to mention one other thing mostly because of someone reading this and might be aromantic. Just because I do not feel romantic love does not mean I don't like romantic love in terms of stories and manga. In fact reading things like yaois with love relationship and shoujo and such are some of my favorite things. I enjoy reading stories where people fall in love and grow into relationships, even though I myself do not share those same emotions. I can still appreciate them.

I also really appreciate stories where the main theme is friendship and love relationships don't have to magically appear and make everything better and change their way of thinking. lol My favorite saying, Platonic Love is not Less than Romantic Love.

Honestly its very difficult to find bi-characters on TV shows...and sadly some that you do find you have to use the, I call them bi because the show has shown them that way. Even though the show calls them Gay.

Oddly enough one of my favorite characters who isn't exactly bi but more what I call Omni-sexual is Jack Harkness from Doctor Who and Torchwood. A man who never found another that he didn't find beautiful and want to flirt with! Same series Torchwood introduces Ianto Jones who is an openly Bi character.

I'm told Orange is the New Black has a couple of openly Bi characters, but I haven't watched the series so I'm not sure how good the representation is.

Oh one of my favorites, Prince Oberyn in Game of Thrones is a very openly Bi character that is perfectly portrayed in both sexual and gender roles.

Great! I've heard of them and watched some of Orange is the New Black. I really like it. It has some great themes and quotes.

interesting... *__* @Tavi, we're a lot alike -not on the sexual preference level -i like men, although i can't keep one for too long. the only contact info i'll ever share is my cell#, when i see things getting a lil' serious, i just stop seeing them and let myself disappear in the background (never choose people from the same city where i live). the thing i can't put finger on is 'love' -in my opinion is just an ephemeral state of mind. that's it. the only vantage point i have is objective... even my mom thinks she might have dropped me when i was a baby or something LOL

To the part about not falling in love, I have to say I am the same. And face the same problem With friends and Family. My parents just keeps saying " Just wait until you meet the right one", but I have never had any romantic feelings towards someone. It can be hard when you might feel they don't take you seriously, but all in all, as long as you're happy the way you are, don't think too much about what People might say..
Also, Yeah I happen to be Bi as well. Have not "come out" to my Family yet, as People would tease me about being gay because i didn't have any relationships when I was younger. Don't really like the wording "come out" because I never really was "in", just People who assumed...
A lot of the questions and answers are really a help to actually Paint a Picture of how I am. Never really considered Aromantic before as something that refered to others, not just me.
Thank you, both you! :D

To the part about not falling in love, I have to say I am the same. And face the same problem With friends and Family. My parents just keeps saying " Just wait until you meet the right one", but I have never had any romantic feelings towards someone. It can be hard when you might feel they don't take you seriously, but all in all, as long as you're happy the way you are, don't think too much about what People might say..
Also, Yeah I happen to be Bi as well. Have not "come out" to my Family yet, as People would tease me about being gay because i didn't have any relationships when I was younger. Don't really like the wording "come out" because I never really was "in", just People who assumed...
A lot of the questions and answers are really a help to actually Paint a Picture of how I am. Never really considered Aromantic before as something that refered to others, not just me.
Thank you, both you! :D

lol Always a pleasure to meet like minded people! And yes sadly I've gotten that same, "what did I do to you when you were younger that means you can't love" speech from my mom. I just have to sit there sometimes and be like You know I can love right. Platonic Love! It makes me care about people in amazing ways to the point where I can easily kill or die for them. I just don't think I have to have romance in the mix. But oh man we definitely are close on your relationships too...I've more than once 'disappeared' to end a relationship when the other part started getting serious even after knowing I wasn't. I once moved five states away when the guy I was dating started referring to everything, as "well once we're married." Eeeps! *flees into the night*

I'm glad that you were able to learn some stuff from our chatting! And it's nice to know you're not alone when it comes to not falling in love isn't it? For the longest time I honestly believed that there was something wrong with me that I didn't fall in love like I was supposed too. And oh yes that familiar phrase, it'll all make sense once you find the one! *shakes head* I don't need to find a one actually, I'm perfectly happy with my life as it is. I have friends who are close and a key part of my life, I have lovers when I want them. I have friends who are lovers. None of this makes my life any less than someone who wants to date someone exclusive and live together and get married. It makes me different, but different is not bad!

I didn't quite come out to my family, I was talking about going out to have sex later that night in a chummy chat with my sister and she was like do I know the guy and I was like well it's Sarah from my chem course. And she was like...Oh...Oooooh....lol

Hahaha that's probably how I would be with my family. And I'm Glad our conversation has helped others as well!!! I think talking about it is very important rather than keeping it bottled.