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You can't just ridicule Ella and said she was a bad mother. She gave birth at such a young...

jellwi January 12, 2021 12:19 pm

You can't just ridicule Ella and said she was a bad mother. She gave birth at such a young age and grieving for her father who died not long after her pregnancy.

She was depressed after giving birth and her husband is not really there because her father in law die as well, so he have to be the new lord. Things are hard and she can't even go socialise with other people (party or such)

She just wanted a little time for herself. Had her husband not ridicule her for going out things might have been different.

Both of them are equally to blame.

Responses
    Red January 12, 2021 1:51 pm

    I agree w u but... a lil time? Bruh. It was Years. An adult must take responsibility. But ye. Both to blame.

    Idk January 12, 2021 2:43 pm
    I agree w u but... a lil time? Bruh. It was Years. An adult must take responsibility. But ye. Both to blame. Red

    True that. Most of Ya'll need to stop being like she was young and shit for ella bc responsibility doesn't always need age as maturity. Some people are mature even at 16 and some don't mature even after 40. Its not the age but the responsibility you are accepting.Yes, both of the parents are at fault but do realise the child's environment growing up, trying to fill all those expectations whilst not receiving an ounce of their parent's affection. When you actually grow up neglected all these feelings turn into hatred and that feeling is not pretty. She isn't the only one at fault but taking all this pity on her doesn't seem any better for all the things that lil kid had to go through.

    DistortedKitten January 12, 2021 3:38 pm
    True that. Most of Ya'll need to stop being like she was young and shit for ella bc responsibility doesn't always need age as maturity. Some people are mature even at 16 and some don't mature even after 40. Its... Idk

    Exactly like I do think that while she went through a hard time, she shouldn’t be let off, but at the same time she is trying to be better and that’s more than I can say for most people, but she is not the only one to blame for neglecting her child. Her husband did it as well, and he should be receiving just as much backlash. However in this type of society that they live in, the mother is seen as completely responsible for raising the child instead of both parents having somewhat equal responsibility. So yes, while she did ignore her son, so did her husband in a more blatant and non-caring manner

    Miloj January 12, 2021 3:51 pm

    I understand that everyone on here is saying responsibility has nothing to do with age and I agree,however, she was forced to be a mother and she personally was not ready to be. She didn't want to be a mom, she wanted to spend more years to be able to live. Suddenly being pushed into motherhood and being expected to take care of something you didn't want is tough on ones mental health. I am not excusing her neglect but she is also not completely at fault for what happened. This was s really good discussion between everyone on this comment.

    Red January 12, 2021 4:01 pm
    I understand that everyone on here is saying responsibility has nothing to do with age and I agree,however, she was forced to be a mother and she personally was not ready to be. She didn't want to be a mom, she... Miloj

    Tbh u didn't rlly add anything to the conv. Idk what was ur point when we already said that smh xd
    But ye.

    Idk January 12, 2021 4:08 pm
    Tbh u didn't rlly add anything to the conv. Idk what was ur point when we already said that smh xdBut ye. Red

    Sorry for the bad English bc it's not my first language anyhow my points were:
    1. "She gave birth at a young age"- age doesn't bring maturity, responsibilities do.
    2. "Depressed after giving birth....."- taking too much pity on her doesn't make all the things the kid had to go through disappear
    3. I didn't mean to reply to your convo but for the person who wrote this comment
    Thanks.

    Red January 12, 2021 4:19 pm
    Sorry for the bad English bc it's not my first language anyhow my points were:1. "She gave birth at a young age"- age doesn't bring maturity, responsibilities do.2. "Depressed after giving birth....."- taking t... Idk

    Wait, did u mean to answer my comment? I completely agree w u and i don't think i ever said the opposite so-

    Miloj January 12, 2021 4:49 pm
    Tbh u didn't rlly add anything to the conv. Idk what was ur point when we already said that smh xdBut ye. Red

    I literally just praised everyone one here for the good discussion and then you had to say this for what. I know that my comment has already been made a point in someway,however, I was just stating my opinion. I was not trying to build on anything. I was just making a clear argument, just like the others. Others can comment similar ideas. Sorry this may sound mean and defensive but I was just trying to comment on a post that intrigued me.

    Cloverfr January 12, 2021 5:17 pm

    But she WAS a bad mother, the thing is you can tell where that comes from and that makes her a good character, and on top of it, she is likeable as a protagonist.

    But you are downplaying the "lil time" thing, the son was completely neglected and hated by his own mother, he did not have any fault at it, and she was partially responsible for that, have you noticed how the maid and the son reacted to a comment from MC? As if it was normal for her to scolded her son in such a manner, I think that small detail can't be overlooked.

    Ginsal January 12, 2021 5:38 pm
    But she WAS a bad mother, the thing is you can tell where that comes from and that makes her a good character, and on top of it, she is likeable as a protagonist.But you are downplaying the "lil time" thing, t... Cloverfr

    Oh for sure she was a bad mother. But a lot of people are saying she should have gotten over it and become a good mother sooner when honestly that's not realistic. It's not like she did this by herself. She was a pampered woman who was forced to marry and have a child as a child and then left aline to deal with PPD. Her husband didn't say anything and everyone else couldn't say anything. I imagine when she tried to go to some parties and take a break society saw her as a shit mom for taking a day off and that made everything worse and she started doing it out of spite.

    Im not saying 15 years of having her kid isn't bad because that's horrible. But I see it as who is the victim a 17 year old kid who just had a baby or the new born baby? It's both. But people tend to say the new born.

    Red January 12, 2021 6:32 pm
    Oh for sure she was a bad mother. But a lot of people are saying she should have gotten over it and become a good mother sooner when honestly that's not realistic. It's not like she did this by herself. She w... Ginsal

    You r saying it's not realistic for her to take responsibility for her child in his 18 years of life? LoL.

    Red January 12, 2021 6:33 pm
    I literally just praised everyone one here for the good discussion and then you had to say this for what. I know that my comment has already been made a point in someway,however, I was just stating my opinion. ... Miloj

    Oh. It just seemed as if u were trying to say it cuz either the others didn't make it clear enough (which the they did) or that they didn't say it (which they did) smh.

    Ginsal January 12, 2021 6:59 pm
    You r saying it's not realistic for her to take responsibility for her child in his 18 years of life? LoL. Red

    That's not what I said at all.

    Miloj January 12, 2021 7:10 pm
    Oh for sure she was a bad mother. But a lot of people are saying she should have gotten over it and become a good mother sooner when honestly that's not realistic. It's not like she did this by herself. She w... Ginsal

    Exactly ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

    tiktoktoe January 12, 2021 8:03 pm

    So she was a good mother? Its not a ridicule when it’s a fact that she was a bad mother. And calling that out is not wrong. Going out to parties when her child is sick, yelling at her child, and putting all the blame and anger on the child is a fact. And 18 years is not a “little time.” Also people keep saying that we can’t blame her...who else are we going to blame if not the parents? Whether or not she wanted a kid, she still shares a responsibility as the parent of a child. He’s not some fish they forgot to feed, he’s a whole human being who needed both parental love.
    And to other comments, I’ve literally never seen someone comment she should’ve gotten over it. Please point it out to me so I comment on theirs as well. And actually becoming a bad mother out of spite from society seems...irrational. Abusing (child neglect is abuse btw) a child because society made you feel insecure is wrong.

    Chiqi322 January 12, 2021 8:23 pm
    I literally just praised everyone one here for the good discussion and then you had to say this for what. I know that my comment has already been made a point in someway,however, I was just stating my opinion. ... Miloj

    No your right, I was totally thinking what a nice civil conversation and then the following comment ruined it lol.

    Cloverfr January 12, 2021 9:52 pm
    Oh for sure she was a bad mother. But a lot of people are saying she should have gotten over it and become a good mother sooner when honestly that's not realistic. It's not like she did this by herself. She w... Ginsal

    What amount of time would be realistic enough? He was about to become an adult...
    I do LOVE this story so far and the characters as well just for the record.

    I know she had PPD, quite untreated, at some point she experienced guilt, and could no longer get closer to her own son and died, I get her story.

    Victim of what? A bad decision? Poor sexual education? (referring to real world now).
    Honestly, it makes me uncomfortable how you call a late teenager a kid, as an actual argument.

    Of course the newborn is the victim if they are neglected or abused by their parents, no matter how young they are, except for exceptional cases (Mentally disability, actual kid pregnancy 9-14, rape victims) they are now the ones that are obligated to be responsible for the new life, I believe the parents of them both also hold responsibility until the new parents can make their new home.

    I get the situation is not as simple as black and white, and I can understand where the immaturity comes from, they are unprepared parents that need guidance and help, but paint them as an actual victim at the level of a neglected baby doesn't sit right with me.

    DistortedKitten January 13, 2021 12:20 am
    What amount of time would be realistic enough? He was about to become an adult...I do LOVE this story so far and the characters as well just for the record.I know she had PPD, quite untreated, at some point she... Cloverfr

    How long it takes to get over depression depends on the person and how much help they have access to, in which this case she had none. Of course she is definitely at fault, but she most likely wouldn’t have acted that way if she had support. That doesn’t excuse what she did, and her son is a hundred percent a victim, but she is not the only one who holds the blame. Her husband does to. He ignored his child and did not give her any help or support after she gave birth to his child. He is not an angel either. It’s also unclear whether she had proper time to grieve for her father or if she was just thrown into a whirlwind of motherhood. I understand your point, but my point is that she was mentally unwell, and took it out on her child which is not ok, and her husband did nothing for her or his son.

    Red January 13, 2021 12:44 am
    That's not what I said at all. Ginsal

    Then i don't think that what u said about her having to take responsibility that sooner is what we said either. I completely agree w what u said, ofc.

    jellwi January 13, 2021 2:57 am

    Yes, she emotionally neglect her son and ignore him most of the time. She was a bad mother because of that, but seeing her point of view where she sees her husband kills someone in front of her and she can't get treatment for her PPD does take toll on her (and how her father and father in law died and her husband busy sched.)

    I'm not justified her behaviour, it is wrong to neglect your child and this applied to her and her husband. And yes, she's trying to do better after died before but she really wishes to be better mother and we should see how's her progress.