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I'm just thinking something completely random. Is it possible for an adult to have romanti...

chachacha November 19, 2015 8:43 pm

I'm just thinking something completely random. Is it possible for an adult to have romantic feelings for a child? Not in a sexual manner. (if it's so hard to imagine, say he's completely asexual)

Responses
    I Thot You Was a Toad November 19, 2015 8:55 pm

    Yes. Every range of feeling is possible. It's the expression of that feeling which is where the adult must exercise self-restraint.

    Bunny laws November 19, 2015 8:59 pm

    Well I guess it's possible? I can't really say it's impossible just because I haven't felt it myself and people do feel sexually attracted to children, so why not? It would make the person a pedophile in a way, though, but having romantic feelings only would probably be easier to deal with than the other.

    I Thot You Was a Toad November 19, 2015 9:08 pm

    Adult romantic feelings for children may be different than adult sexual urges, but psychologically burdensome all the same. An adult knows this and transmutes those feelings, ie., they focus their attention on other things and express only neighbourliness, friendship or familial goodwill and care toward the child, expecting nothing in return (other than the customary neighbourly, familial or friendly respect and goodwill.)

    I Thot You Was a Toad November 19, 2015 9:17 pm
    Well I guess it's possible? I can't really say it's impossible just because I haven't felt it myself and people do feel sexually attracted to children, so why not? It would make the person a pedophile in a way,... Bunny laws

    It isn't necessary to know that feelings exist because you, yourself, have had them. It's possible because it has been documented and studied under the psychology of human sexuality.

    Bunny laws November 19, 2015 9:27 pm
    It isn't necessary to know that feelings exist because you, yourself, have had them. It's possible because it has been documented and studied under the psychology of human sexuality. I Thot You Was a Toad

    Yeah, I know. That's why I said that I couldn't decide that it's impossible based on the fact that I havent felt it myself.

    Yu-chan November 19, 2015 10:15 pm

    It's possible.
    A friend of my dad told him that he fell in love with my sister. She was 12 or 13.
    The man was about 30.

    You can't decide who you're gonna love.
    It's sad when you have to tell yourself that it's bad, like in this case.

    It's sad but right.
    Probably better for everyone this way.

    I have a secret stash of yaoi. November 19, 2015 10:26 pm

    Pedophiles exist so, yeah. I would assume that any attraction, be it sexual or romantic, falls under that umbrella. Why do you ask? o_o

    I Thot You Was a Toad November 19, 2015 10:32 pm
    Yeah, I know. That's why I said that I couldn't decide that it's impossible based on the fact that I havent felt it myself. Bunny laws

    Fair enough. I read too much into your statement because the issue of whether these feelings exist isn't a matter of choice or decision (as it is on public record), ergo it cannot be inferred that anyone who partakes in a random discussion like this must necessarily have direct experience (unless they say they have.)

    I Thot You Was a Toad November 19, 2015 10:42 pm
    Pedophiles exist so, yeah. I would assume that any attraction, be it sexual or romantic, falls under that umbrella. Why do you ask? o_o I have a secret stash of yaoi.

    I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with the idea of linking romantic love with pedophilia. Romanticism is not in the same league at all.

    I have a secret stash of yaoi. November 19, 2015 10:52 pm
    I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with the idea of linking romantic love with pedophilia. Romanticism is not in the same league at all. I Thot You Was a Toad

    I didn't mean to sound insensitive, sorry, but isn't romantic attraction (ie. having a crush on somebody) wanting to kiss and touch and date and such?

    I Thot You Was a Toad November 19, 2015 11:01 pm
    I didn't mean to sound insensitive, sorry, but isn't romantic attraction (ie. having a crush on somebody) wanting to kiss and touch and date and such? I have a secret stash of yaoi.

    Not to my understanding. I use the definition that was developed in the Age of Chivalry, where romantic love was idealized love, one where you projected attributes that were considered ideal onto the person whom you loved; they were the epitome of beauty or compassion or truthfulness or intelligence. So they could be like a muse for creativity or source of inspiration which impelled knights to go on long quests.

    I Thot You Was a Toad November 19, 2015 11:05 pm
    I didn't mean to sound insensitive, sorry, but isn't romantic attraction (ie. having a crush on somebody) wanting to kiss and touch and date and such? I have a secret stash of yaoi.

    Physical intimacy and touching crosses over into sexuality and between an adult and a minor that would certainly be pedophilia. But Romantic love that does not involve physical intimacy or touching, while showing a type of emotional neediness on the part of the adult and being burdensome to the child who is loved romantically, is not necessarily sexual. I think it can spark sexual feelings, especially if the adult doesn't do something to shift their focus, but not the same.

    I Thot You Was a Toad November 19, 2015 11:46 pm
    I didn't mean to sound insensitive, sorry, but isn't romantic attraction (ie. having a crush on somebody) wanting to kiss and touch and date and such? I have a secret stash of yaoi.

    I wonder what chachacha means when asking about romantic love?

    I have a secret stash of yaoi. November 20, 2015 1:01 am
    Not to my understanding. I use the definition that was developed in the Age of Chivalry, where romantic love was idealized love, one where you projected attributes that were considered ideal onto the person who... I Thot You Was a Toad

    I see now! We were on different pages; I didn't know about this definition. Colloquially it's used to refer to things to do with dating or courtship, so I hadn't considered that there were different meanings too.

    I have a secret stash of yaoi. November 20, 2015 1:11 am
    Physical intimacy and touching crosses over into sexuality and between an adult and a minor that would certainly be pedophilia. But Romantic love that does not involve physical intimacy or touching, while showi... I Thot You Was a Toad

    Hmmm, I think I kind of get it and understand the difference. In any case, I consider it bad news for an adult to have any type of feelings other than platonic for a child. Emotional neediness and idolizing someone and putting them on a pedestal can't be healthy either.

    I have a secret stash of yaoi. November 20, 2015 1:12 am
    I wonder what chachacha means when asking about romantic love? I Thot You Was a Toad

    I wonder too.

    chachacha November 20, 2015 4:38 am
    Pedophiles exist so, yeah. I would assume that any attraction, be it sexual or romantic, falls under that umbrella. Why do you ask? o_o I have a secret stash of yaoi.

    I was reading some yaoi shotacon where the shota is really quite mature; just like any other uke out there. And it got me thinking, if a person is sexually attracted to children, but only their body and not their mind, not because they find joy in abusing the innocence of a child, but purely because they are attracted to a children body, is that still considered pedophilia? Mind you, I'm quite hazy by what pedophilia is really defined. Pedophilia is unaccepted because by practising it, you are in actuality abusing the child's mind, even if it is consensual. So I was wondering if there is actually a creature where they do not age, would having a relationship with them be socially unacceptable? But that's a bit too far fetched, I know lol.

    And I start thinking it the other way around, where it is actually more possible. Hence this question. The conclusion of the question would be, is this considered pedophilia as well?

    chachacha November 20, 2015 5:09 am
    I wonder what chachacha means when asking about romantic love? I Thot You Was a Toad

    The first two paragraphs are some sort of explanation to my question and my hazy definition of ‘romantic love', but if you’re too lazy to read it just skip it lol.

    I am not nor have I ever met any asexual person, so I'm not sure if a very asexual person would really have 0 sexual interest in anything. But I assume so, hence I used it as an example. Because I personally would like to touch someone that I like, sexually. That's why I cannot use myself as an example.

    Anyway, what I mean by romantic feelings is.... well a feeling of love completely free from any sexual attraction (perhaps, initially). If to put it in another more imaginable example, then, loving someone you met online, where you've never even seen the person nor know his/her gender? Say, a (straight) girl has a crush on someone online, even tho she doesn’t know the person’s gender, may be because the way the person types and how he brings himself seems masculine. In actuality, the person may not actually be a guy. But bottomline, what the girl is attracted to is the initial ‘masculinity’ she falsely perceived.

    What I fail to understand is, how can an adult ever be attracted to a child’s character. Their line of thoughts are completely different. I personally do not think it’s as simple as ‘oh, I just happen to love you’. Like, what part of a child would actually make you fall in love with them? (this is coming from someone who has never read a fiction/or witness anything where the adult genuinely loves the child as a person) I can understand if the child is mature beyond imagination for his/her age, but is it possible to love a normal childish children? (does that make sense?) I’m actually kinda thinking in this kind of discussion, children is a separate species from adults altogether. (I haven’t given much thoughts too grannies lol)

    chachacha November 20, 2015 5:12 am
    It's possible.A friend of my dad told him that he fell in love with my sister. She was 12 or 13.The man was about 30.You can't decide who you're gonna love.It's sad when you have to tell yourself that it's bad,... Yu-chan

    Would you be able to elaborate? What part of your sister makes him fall in love with her? (and ofc, you're not talking about sexual attraction right)

    chachacha November 20, 2015 5:14 am

    This question is even harder because for me, the definition of romantic love is really shady lol.