Mayari

But it is also true that you will feel disappointed of you tell everything to your best friend and turned out you don't even know one of the most crucial things like where she lives and if she works especially when you think you were close and you should hear from your friends directly so i don't think dajin was in the wrong However the classmates are annoying but they are kids and kids love to gossip especially in school lmaooa

this!!!

+ daijin is clearly not mad now that they've talked it out, she just said she was disappointed, which is completely fair. clearly she thinks nothing less of bora so I don't really get the criticism

i think we might have to think about though is how close these characters actually are in the pov of each other.
does bora think dajin isn't as close as dajin thinks they are?
does dajin hold this sort of standard for ALL of her friends and acquaintances?
dajin may not be in the wrong when it comes to wanting to know personal information like this about her close friends but we dont actually know how close they are (in their own povs), and if her friends and acquaintances are scared to reveal information because they might be called liars for keeping things to themselves, im not sure thats really... a good thing?
just because you'd feel disappointed doesnt mean you're entitled to it and it doesnt mean that it isnt natural for people to keep information from each other. sometimes you dont tell one group of friends the same subset of information as you tell another group of friends, and it really depends on the people, the situation, and the type of info.
i think whats crucial to consider about this is that dajin is presented in a way by her other friends that makes it seem like she feels she is entitled to information she really isnt. good friends respect boundaries, and sometimes it takes different people different amounts of time and familiarity (both with the person, the situation AND the information to be shared) for them to be willing to share
if she has friends that are going to her like omg so and so is a LYING RAT for HIDING A RELATIONSHIP then while it says smth about the friends that tell her that, it also says smth about *her* and how the people around her view her.

"i think whats crucial to consider about this is that dajin is presented in a way by her other friends that makes it seem like she feels she is entitled to information she really isnt."
I think you're way off, saying this. Dajin is literally the person telling the other girl off for talking badly behind Bora's back and said to her face "why would Bora have to tell you about that?". what others who you literally *don't associate with anymore* say to you does not reflect yourself whatsoever? the way you respond and react to those things does, and Dajin's reaction was to talk to Bora about it and cut the girl off - she didn't even get mad or act entitled, she simply said it made her feel a bit disappointed when she has shared a lot of herself which is a completely normal human reaction.

i understand what you mean. i agree that dajin does seem like fine in the sense that she does tell the other girl off for gossiping and not associating with her. you're right that people's portrayals of you (especially those you dont associate with anymore) dont determine your character.

i apologize, i think i phrased that poorly.

how do i say this
what i was trying to say (and i suck at communicating, im sorry...)

i kind of have an issue with the way dajin is shown interacting with others as well as the things that other characters seem to latch onto about her personality/ideology. imo she kind of phrases things that kind of have a secondary implication other than what she might mean if she truly is a normal person and a good friend
she says things like "i dont like liars" + "and even more so if she lies because of a man"
she seems fine in the sense that she does clarify when talking to bora about not liking it when people talk shit behind other people's backs, especially if theyre making stuff up
but the fact that mira is using her ideology as a reason where she thinks she can drag bora into a fight with dajin (or drag down her credibility in dajin's eyes) means that dajin might not be presenting her stance on liars (in general) in a way that makes it seem perfectly fine to keep some information to yourself

if that makes sense?

she says things like "i wonder if bora is lying to us" and says stuff like oh i dont like when people lie to me, especially if its because of a man (which could imply that lying to her about your relationship status is something you shouldn't do if you're her friend, which... is something she doesnt need to know)
some of this stuff can kind of make you feel guilty for keeping things to yourself that you're allowed to keep to yourself.

this impression it might be because we dont really know this character well enough to know how she'd react to smth like for example if bora revealed her relationship w/ jay after some period of time. i feel like it could go either way, where either shes Normal about it or she takes that as an instance of "lying because of a man"

its probably the way she keeps talking about lies and lying and the way when other people talk about her it keeps getting brought up that gets to me tbh lmao

I understand much better what you meant now, thank you for clarifying! and I do understand your point of view, however I think as you yourself mention, that we don't know enough about her character to determine these things. I imagine that her being focused on lying, and it being especially a problem if related to men, is probably related to some past experience of her's. a friend group in middle school going into flames because of it, a family member (mom/dad), etc... it seems weird for her to stand so strongly on this if not due to something that's happened beforehand.

To put some perspective on it, I would also say it's pretty weird for Bora to not have expressed wanting this privacy when Dajin, like you said, has mentioned multiple times not liking lies in regards to that (for whatever reason). I feel like she's set her own boundary pretty clearly, we're just missing Bora to do the same - of course no one's entitled to any information and you don't have to share something you wouldn't want to, but communication is important from both sides! I still feel like it was very fair of Dajin to communicate her feelings, we just have an easier time relating to and understanding Bora since we see it from her perspective, though in reality what she's actually said with words is very little

of course, its no problem! i phrased it poorly, thank you for calling me out on it >.<

ooh that would make sense, yeah. past issues could totally be a reason since she seems to value that sort of honesty so much more than the others do, especially when it comes to a possible romantic relationship being the cause of dishonesty

i agree that it is kind of odd for bora not to have put her foot down about it. i wonder if its because bora doesn't expect anything to come out of the relationship after the month ends, or if its because bora is wishywashy in her priorities (her privacy, or the friendship), or smth like that

she could come out and be truthful, she could tell dajin that its not really her business to know (which could cause tension if not communicated well, or make it sound like she doesn't want to be truthful like dajin wants her to be), or maybe she doesnt see herself as close with dajin as dajin seems to think

communication is key, but also sometimes people tend to think that if talking about it is going to cause a rift, they would rather not talk about it at all (which! usually causes the rift anyway...)

i agree with you! it was fair of dajin to communicate her feelings about this. thats like a totally valid (and honestly, important) thing to do.
i wonder if its the way she phrases it and (in this situation) kinda puts bora on the spot that has to do with the way bora doesn't put her foot down about her own boundaries. objectively, it makes sense to be communicating with your friends, but if bora herself doesn't know how dajin will react, it could be p difficult to figure out how to respond (especially if she hasnt had the experience/awareness to know how to really establish boundaries, communicate clearly, etc.)

in the end... we really dont know enough to be able to draw many conclusions... (￣∇￣")

different people just react differently i guess because for me if i was dajin i wouldnt really be disappointed. Where my friend lives or where she works doesnt really make or break our friendship. If i think we're close, then we are. I wouldnt really go to my friend's house just to clarify that she lives there cause what if she doesnt want me to know due to valid reasons? We really dont need to share a lot of thing with eachother for us to be friends.

I 100% agree with you, and you've put it very nicely! In the end relationships, platonic or romantic, are just difficult and complicated to navigate sometimes when you have a different set of priorities - in a way, I feel like Bora just doesn't really take action right now and the whole point of her development in this arc is exactly what we're talking about; voicing her feelings and being clear what she wants/doesn't want, or else it gets messy (both in regards to her friends and Jay). She's just kinda getting dragged along in every situation as of right now.... (￣∇￣") I just hope I'm right about my gut feeling with Dajin - all we can do for now is guess after all

she didn't go to her house to clarify if she lives there, but to tell her about Mira's shenanigans and talk about the situation as she wasn't answering the phone. in the conversation, she only voiced disappointment in the sense that she feels like Bora put a wall between them - which is true, as Bora does this with all her relationships that aren't family or where she hasn't been "forced" to share. Dajin is seemingly just a very matter-of-fact person who says things straight-up, and I rather feel it will help Bora to be more open and voice her feelings/boundaries in her relationships, and that her fear of disappointing her friends with her situation is non-existent.
but of course, people see things differently, as with so much else, as you say yourself.

i too hope your gut feeling about dajin is right ...
hopefully they can all can figure things out without there being even more drama involved...
i just want them to be happy and stress freeeee ╥﹏╥