MindlessScribbles's Questions (51)

What leads you to suicidal? Is it a heartbreak or losing hope in life? You might want to find some interest or hobby that could keep you busy for a while and engage in life. I don't know if you are under pressure or else since there is too little information to give any specific advice.

Sometimes I can have suicidal thoughts which isn't concerning. I think it might because I was under a pressure and it did affect me. What I did is embrace it and fuck the noise instead. The suicidal thoughts can come visit me but they won't see me dying.

my life is crumbling
Utterly
My binder doesn't hide my chest (I'm trans)
I have nobody to talk to
I'm lonely as heck
I'm low on money
My ex hates me and doesn't want to talk to me (I kind of went back to him)

My only friend is distancing herself for various reasons my family keeps shouting at me for small things and making my day worse
My mom's just exited my life
I'm feeling so depressed and drained lately
I don't know what to do

Have to ask are you on medication of any kind at the moment?

hey, if you want to talk, you can write me a message.

Just my opinion which isn't a professional advice so take it with a grain of salt:

I could suggest you to drop all those people who are against on you. Find someone who will accept who you are, instead of keep living with someone who might be a toxic. It is naturally to desire comfort and companionship when you feel lonely, but maybe you can express that desire on other platform? For example, keeping animals or focusing on your passion/interest.

If you're low on money and you're looking for it then the easy answer is find a job and make some money. I know how the real world works, job can be hard to get. It does get easier if you are less picky about the job. Get the job even if it pay less, fuck life for being stingy but at least the money is flowing in. Keep on track and slowly level up.

If you can forget your ex, then forget about him. That's....doesn't make sense but you have to - forget him. It's hard, heck I know that. Fuck him, I mean, if he doesn't want to talk to you then fine. He is losing that opportunity now and forever. Put yourself on priority.

You can disagree with my opinion.

Moving out and living by myself, adopting a few dogs and cats, and living happily without the concern of family interaction always gets me going. Look deep into your memories and think about that one particular goal you set up for your future. If you haven't accomplished it yet then throw away your suicidal thoughts. I know it's gonna be hard but try.

I don't have much real-life experience in regards to this kind of thing, but I do have an Internet friend who has depression and was suicidal. He's been my friend for 8 years, and in the recent years he often talked about killing himself when we chat. He said that he honestly doesn't know what to do in his life. He feels like it has no worth. He never graduated from a college, and his mom and sisters are terrible at supporting and comforting. He told me that when I talk to him about what's going in my life and just other stuff like Pokemon in general, it makes him forget about the terrible thoughts (for a moment). Before I leave, I tell him that he's a great friend, that I was glad to have met him, that he's on the most open-minded and kindest people I know. He feels good when I say that.

As of now, he goes to therapy for his depression, and he's working on finding a path in life. I think he currently works as an intern, not exactly sure where. He rants to me about his mom and sister sometimes, but he's like, "Well, I'll just move on and just ignore them."

So I don't know if this benefits you, but I guess having a close friend, even just one, will do wonders. I have also heard of people who say that sometimes, things in life distract them from actually committing suicide. For example, I remember one person say that when they had decided to go and kill themselves, they remembered that they forgot to feed their cat. They wondered how the cat will fend if they were gone.

I think the Anonymous reply and the one from Fehlover are both great pieces of advice to follow, and to add, change the things that are making you unhappy, remove yourself from things that are making you depressed, it's never going to be easy but things rarely are, and prioritize, one of the problems you mentioned was low income, which means you have a little income? then work to improve it by looking for work, if you have the skillset to work on something you enjoy then aim for that, for example, (and at risk of sounding cliche) if you like reading or writing, aim for jobs that will surround you with those tasks, if you don't have the skillset to do that then start where you can and then save the money for courses or lessons (i'm not sure what country you are in and what paid education is available so it might be different, but I'm sure there'll be places, if not then I think there'll be online courses, things are a lot more diverse these days) once you've got a more steady income (which won't happen right away) then work on the next thing that's making you unhappy, You mentioned a binder not hiding your breasts, then if you're brave enough save for surgery or look for alternatives.

With the feeling lonely and no one to talk to, I'm positive you can message anyone here who has responded to you, me included, and we'll all make sure you have someone to talk to, as for the people outside of here, I'm not sure if you've tried already but try talking to them, tell them everything that's going on with you, how you are feeling and that you need them to stay with you and help you and not turn you away. If you have already done this then, as hard as it might be, you need to look for people that will listen, do what you have done already and reach out, online is a great place to meet new people but there are also other websites that can point you to places you can walk to and meet with people that are struggling with similar issues, and I know a lot of people hate the word therapy and it's a big step to take and start walking in that direction, but it is there for a reason and the people will be there for YOU.

In the meantime, do things you enjoy as often as you can, I'm going to sound like a crazy old lady or something now by saying my favourite hobbies have ended up being Knitting while watching Sherlock, or some comedic DVD's, but I'm sure you'll have more normal hobbies, and another tip (born from my own OCD) but try and make a day to day routine, i'm not sure if you are at school or work, but set things to do everyday or week by week, I know it sounds a lot like 'just going through the motions' but I find it makes me comfortable to know what I'm going to be doing in the next hour or what day I'm doing my washing, Or feed the cats when I get home, just little things like that to help the days go along.

But lastly, as mentioned before, you can speak to anyone here and we'll be sure to keep you talking, and more importantly, alive, because I'd really love to know more about you, if you ever want to talk :)

If you have modes of accessing therapy then I would highly suggest it. It's generic advice but it's extremely true advice too. Many people who don't have convention problems go to therapists too.

Not for depression
But I am for ADHD

Thank you!
Sadly I'm unable to get animals due to my parents
And currently I have two part time jobs
As for my ex
I made him block me so that I can't message him

Thank you
I'll try my best
Though with education and my age I'm stuck living with my parents for a while, I'm 16, almost 17
I cannot afford to support myself

Thank you!
I was never great at making friends
And currently my best friend is growing distant to me
I think I probably annoy her

I'm hoping to work on education and secure a cushier future but I'm not so sure I have that ability
Currently I have 2 part time jobs

That sounds like me during highschool... It was a very long depressing school year and everyone complained when the teacher partnered them with me cause according to them I was the 'quiet and boring one'. I had some friend though but they all left to some other school. Well it doesn't matter now I guess cause it's over now. Maybe loneliness has an expiration date llol

Hope it ends soon
Was the same through 3 years of my high school days
And is clearly continuing into sixth form for the next two years as far as I can see

owww im so sad for you, im the cheerful type so i have lot of friends, i was always the newbie at school each year since elementary , even now in graduate school, once i was just like you no matter how many people you know outside school its always sad to be alone during classes and during lunch, this is a simple thing and it works ; try saying hello to other people don't be sad in a corner even if you are alone sometimes, try to say hello, how are you? to five of six persons in a day, you will see next time it will be their turn, people are just like you, everyone is happy to know there is someone to talk with. and yes its not complusary to be part of a group, hanging with just 3 or 4 bro its good enough. kiss(づ￣ ³￣)づ

Well, at least you have a friend. I haven't had anyone that goes by that title in the last five years. In fact, I don't think I've talked to anyone who wasn't blood related to me or didn't have the obligation to talk to me (doctor, store clerk, boss, etc.) in the last... nearly four weeks... ╮(￣▽￣)╭

That sucks because I also experiencing the same as yours but I don't really care since I prefer being alone. Why don't you find other alternative? Maybe bring a book or games to play during your free hours. Think of anything that can fill the gap with something you are interested.

If you are seeking a companionship, then maybe improve your social skills. Be nice and observe people. Find ways to sneak in their conversation. Don't overshare though, unless they have gained your trust.

If you have been suffering depression for that long, you should see a doctor, they will be able to determine if the cause is hormonal, your thyroid (which can get very serious if not treated) or something else.

I'm currently in councelling for other reasons, my
Councillor likes to say I just have a low mood
Though I wouldn't say this was hormonal
As it all stems from plenty of things

get over it not like leave everything and like be optimistic or something but still even if it takes a while try to like find something you like and think about your situation and a way to overcome your depression
my life was really tough that I cant even explain it well
I didn't have a biological father and my grandfather was my father for me and he died a few years ago and soon after that my step aunts started making a bad atmosphere at my home and they always like shouted and attempted to bring harm to me and my family. the first years of my grandfather passing away I couldn't even know what's happening around me of the shock and I was depressed and I didn't even work on the computer and my only fun and stuff that I did in my free time was to sleep but I also love basketball so I was in the basketball team of my school so sometimes I would practice with my teammates or go in the basketball competitions with my team. I was really pessimistic and I didn't like doing anything. I tried little by little and of course it took a while for me to like stop being pessimistic. I found something that inspired me and you see if you try to do these things and stop thinking about your disasters you can stop being pessimistic and if you try to find something that inspires you (even little things like drawing or like watching motivational videos and so) it will be really helpful for you.

I'll try, I currently draw and ice skate, though not much else, my mother is currently in prison, I've just finished high school meaning I'll never see most of my friends again (we're all going to different places and none of them messaged me out of school
Anyway)
Then drawing equipment and iceskating is so expensive
It's all so offputting
But thank you a lot, I will try

U only need to sit down and start to remember every sad moment and detail in your life and then ask yourself why u are blaming it for things u didn't do !! Why u are watching it with people eyes and not yours !! Why u are taking from yourself the right to live !! And then why don't u start again and promise it to be stronger and never dissapoint it or dissapoint the people who love u ?? Why don't u scream and say i'm strong and nothing can make me weak ?? Why don't u say that u deserve a happy life like any another one ?? And then remember the happy moments wish make u smile ?? Even if u don't have a lot stand up like a real woman and get it

Thank you a lot, I'll try, I'm gonna go for a nice walk I think
Grab some food (๑•ㅂ•)و✧

Life was never unfair with people but u can still be fair with the important persons in your life and especially yourself or u just think that crying or thinking about killing yourself will just help u ?? Just sit down and think about those sad moments and what make them sad it is just the situations or your heart wish can't forget it ?? U must move on happily and with a positive way and burn all the past to find the light if your present and futur

Keep going. Every fight is a fight and even when it gets hard just remember, all the yaoi that you've read ...some at least is not finished yet. And you can't stop in the middle of a good stoey

I've dealt with extremely suicidal thoughts, depression and anorexia nervosa (starving to the point of almost collapsing, losing 8 kgs in two weeks, eating only once every 24 hours) and honestly, I know it sounds stupid but I went through it alone. My parents didn't allow me to see a therapist, they knew about my severe self harm issues but they thought I was just bored and asking for attention. The pressure they put on me and all the expectations, the bullying since I was 4 yo up to my 16th year, it all lead to me exploding. Luckily, I had a psychology teacher in my high school and I talked to her the day I wanted to kill myself. I couldn't take it any more so it was too much and I wanted to give up. I knew that I was alone in this, my friends turned a blind eye to my situation, I was completely abandoned and ridiculed. So when I snapped and finally talked to my teacher, she helped me change my perspective. All this suffering made me realize that I'm the only person I should take care of and I shouldn't depend on anyone else to make me happy. I'm 19 now, it's been 3, almost 4 years since my mental breakdown and every day I get up just to show myself that I want to overcome that dark side and live.
I know it's hard but you really have to take care of yourself and most of all you have to want to recover. Look for help, engage in recovery, invest in yourself. You're gonna die anyway but why not live truly and experience joy before that? Face yourself and your hardships, do what it takes to rebuild yourself and fight to feel better. Focus on what really matters, on what fulfils you and what satisfies you. See a therapist if you're able to and never give up on yourself.
I wish you a lot of luck on your journey and I send you positive vibes. I'm here if you need to vent.

Hahahaha good example

Like the other said
Just get over it
What you're actually living is just Life
That's how things, you've got forge yourself a strong mind because nothing is gonna change, that's how life is
Living through these kind of pains is just part of life, you'll experience much more in the future, but you can't just give up, you've gotta adapt, that's what growing up is about
You'll meet new people, discover new things and have many experiences
About your friends, don't wait for them to call or message you, make the first move
I hope you find this helpful
I wish you luck and happiness for the future, and of course to be better

Le Apricot is right. Life is a good story. It's a teacher. Don't stop in the middle if it and never learn the lesson

Don´t commit suicide.

I don´t know you, who you are and how hard life has been for you, but to chose death is not the only way to solve your problems. There are sure many ways. And not all of them will be easy and fun. Many of them will be hard and stony. but I can say that the harder way, the way where you have to fight the most, that way has the most beautyful view at the end.

I don´t know if you talked with a therapist, yet. But if didn´t, you should. And not only with a therapist, but also with poeple whom you trust. People that are good for you, be there for you, and help you. You should trust who will never let you down when you need them the most.

Maybe you think that nobody cares about you but I know there are and will be always people who cares. You just don´t see them at first glance, but they are there. They are near you. Just look closly and you´ll find them.

So please don´t commit suicide. There will be people who will miss you.
Choose to fight instead. Fight for your future. Fight just to show that you can do it. Fight just to say "fuck off death".
But most importantly, fight just for you. For the person who you are and for you will be.
And at the end of your journey, you will have the most beautyful view.

In Love, Someone who cares about you :)

Thank you a lot, I will try hard to find a positive state of mind

You're right lol, sadly all the yaoi I'm reading haven't been updated for about 4-2 weeks ;-;

I'm glad there was someone to help you
Unfortunately for me, my father doesn't believe depression exists, mother's in jail, my therapist keeps changing my diagnosis from gender dysphoria to PTSD and the only friend I can really talk to about
This stuff is in America, the time zones make it difficult, but I really
Will try to focus on positivity
Thank you a lot for your
Consideration

I hope to meet new people in the future and live life, though if these sorts of things
Are normal I don't know if it's worth it. Of course though I'll still try, thank you a lot

Thank you a lot!
I'm sadly at a brick wall with therapy and family/friends
My father just jokes and doesn't think I'm genuinely feeling down, and my therapist keeps changing my
Diagnosis -_-' as for friends I only have one who I can actually talk to about serious issues but they're in America.
Regardless your reply
Means a lot, thank you so
Much and I will try to be more positive

Telling someone to 'just get over it' is not helpful, that is like telling someone with cancer to 'get over it', It is a disease, not a grouchy "I just had a bad sleep' day.

I'm worse off than you. I suffer of loneliness and depression for 30 years. Got no friends to rely on and no stable job either since economy is bad as soon I graduated. I live by doing odd jobs that doesn't pay much. But I still move on for so long with my life a mess. To cope with my stress I just do the stuff I like to do as much I can. Go with the flow....just think there are other people having it worse but still trying to survive out there.
We live in a cruel and strict world.
You're still young so more possibilities for you ahead.

Thinking that way, I do it a lot, it makes me feel ungrateful and selfish, simply making me feel worse
I wish I was as grateful as I want to be

If you'd read all of my reply then you would know that i didn't just say "get over it" and gave advices too I've been in a really hard situation as I've said in my last reply and more than anyone I know that its not helpful to just say "get over it" and like underestimate the situation so I gave advices on how to get over it

I'm sure that you didn't read all of my reply because I gave advice on how to get over it like I said before I've had a tough life and because of that more than anyone else I know that its not helpful to just say get over it and like underestimate the situation so don't jump to conclusions and read before replying

For now maybe start by being friends with him? Since you said you didn't intend to go out with him.
Well, at least don't avoid him on purpose, cuz that would only make things awkward at your workplace ^^

Thank you haha, I'll try ^_^

I reccomend you develop sleeping habits, such as going to bed at the same time every night, but for now I suggest that you think about something that makes you happy or that doesn't frighten you amd when you drift off do not be afraid it will scare you even more, althought i am not a doctor I hope this comment helps and if it doesn't go see a doctor and hopefully they have a bettet answer

I think you should go and see a doctor if it's that serious...

I know what u mean my mind was completaly awake but not my body i cldn't move even a finger or speak i was so terrified because i wldnt move but i cldnt my eyes were open and nobody was near me!!!

Practise sleep hygiene, and sleep on your sides. It usually won't happen if you are on your sides. Position yourself in a most comfortable position.
Try re-programme your mind that the bedroom is for sleeping. Do your work elsewhere, and switch off your laptop and phones when you are in bed.
During the day, do some physical and mental exercise so that you can get tired at night. Eat balanced diet too. If possible, have a regular sleep and wake up time.
Most of the time, sleep paralysis occurs when your body is not in an optimal state.
Mine occur when i was stressed out （￣へ￣）

Thank you :D

Yes, you can, but its usually pretty rare. Also, never tske a persons name and gender to heart on the internet. While they may be relatable, they may not be exactly who you think they are.

I know that, that's why I'm feeling cautious, it just feels weird
Normally I would've ended up in a hostile debate because the other person has a very set opinion

Maybe ask their opinion first. Cuz some people just agree with what u say and follow ur opinion. Ask them theirs and then state ur own.

Maybe so. Some people are just wishy washy, or they really like knowing others' opinions. I know i do. I find it fascinating. While this perfect situation may seem suspicious, i wouldn't read into it too much, since they're just good to talk to and you'll probably never meet them in person anyway.

I've met plenty of people that I'm 99% sure are genuine. But it takes a long time to confirm whether they're honest or not. Because I've also met plenty of people who are fake. Be VERY cautious, never give out personal info on the internet. It is so easy to blackmail someone online

Well, I think actually you can. Some of my friends in rl I met online. It probably depends on where you met that person. If for example you get to know someone because he frequents an anime website and you start chatting, than you will soon see if their love for animes is genuine, also there would be no sense to lie about it, in order to talk about it you still have to watch it afer all. Often it's also easier to openly express your opinion online and while you normally don't just randomly talk to people on the street and automatically judge people because of their looks and behavior you won't have that problem on the net. Also because of themebased sites you are already together with people who share f.e. the same hobby. There are many people who think the same way you do and the internet just makes it easier to find those. I also think that some personal infos like age, gender, nationality etc. can't really be used to harm you. Beeing cautious is not wrong but beeing too suspicious won't get you anywhere either, just have a good time :)
maybe I am a little naive, but till now it has never harmed me and I was able to make lots of very good friends.

Who knows? For me as long as there's someone to talk with the same interest I'm good but be sure to confirm their interest whether they faked or real, just for your safety in case the person is you know. Surfing on Internet is pleasure but there's always risk so be careful and alert.

Yes and honestly it's easier to find people you can relate to online than in real life. Take this website for example we all talk about the same things so common ground is already established unlike in real life it's work and home and going out occasionally and when that happens you barely touch on the subject of things you like. Buuuut still be careful coz sometimes those are just predators trying to lure you in

Ah thank you :P internet friends are awesome

Thank you :D

Thank you :)

Thank you ^_^

No, he isn't.

It's probably Eric who grabbed his hand and Humpty mistook (imagined?) it to be Ellie as they look alike.

Talk it out with your friend. It seems like she never meant to offend you.. sounds like she feels insecure about her friendship with you. ^-^

Ah yeah, she said that cause she was feeling lonely and left out...sounds like she was fishing a little too, you were probably supposed to kiss up a bit and hang out with her. If you can talk it out you should be ok. But she's feeling ignored.

At first, u we're pushing ur loved ones away even ur friends. It's never good to push them away especially when u need it. As the old saying goes, "kiss and make up" she'll understand your part of the story and you'll understand hers. And making up and actually talking it out with her, you guys will actually have a closer bond then usually. -Baka chan

The problem is, she's on holiday right now with her other friend
So she had no right to be upset with me for playing an otome game :/

I've unblocked her, but unfortunately I have work today, by the time she's awake I'll be unable to reply for at least 6 hours

Thanks, I'll hope for the best :)

Basically everything by Ogeretsu Tanaka, Michinoku Atami, Ootsuki Miu and Nekota Yonezou. Also, Kuroquis' mangas are good;)

Following (〜￣Д￣)〜

Out of Control/Never Understand?

http://www.mangago.me/tag/Webtoon/ there are also non-yaoi ones but it's a good source :D

Moritat, bloodbank

Lover boy
The baker on the first floor
Raising a bat
School life
Heart silent

Royal Servant (art )
Window Beyond Window
Heart Silent (shounen ai, but really nice)

no on is recommending it so I just have to. What lies at the end is a really good one~