kkodoma's Things

There's this junior guy I've known for about 5-6 months and he proposed to me a few days ago but I rejected it and now people are villainizing cuz I rejected a "good" guy. Well, he is a good guy no doubt but I absolutely hate it when people force themselves into someone's else's life or personal space. He would wait for me every day in front of my campus and would almost always be there whenever I'm hanging out with my friends and he would magically appear out of nowhere whenever I'm alone or in trouble. He is a good guy no doubt cuz his behaviour is really nice, he's friendly with everyone, he's kind and polite and has a good sense of humour. He brings me home-cooked meals and snacks often and accompanies me to my hostel. But guess what I didn't ask for all this and as a woman living in a country where we are constantly stalked, poisoned and brutally raped at nighttime, I can't help but be wary. He's way too nosy about what I'm doing or what I'm feeling, he's always around and I find it really suffocating cuz even my friends support his behaviour and would leave us alone. Even my gals arent this "caring". So during the time before the proposal, he was being overly nosy and clingy and "caring" and whatnot and I was at my limit. So when he proposed I straight up declined it. The tone I spoke in was kind of rude and pissy. and now everyone is mad at me cuz he's always been so kind. they're saying stuff like I'm gonna regret it later, that I'm on my high horse and I'm a bitch. and now I'm actually thinking will I really regret this later. Now I'm feeling really bad for being rude. what should I do? should I talk to him or should I clarify stuff to my friends? I'm stressed and I don't feel like going out anymore. I don't wanna see anybody now.

and no the meaning is not banana. but if happen to know what this means can we please be friends?

hii~~
i am an artist. i mostly do traditional art ( watercolours, oil painting, pencil and colour sketching, acrylic paint ) and have never ever done didgital art. so i have no idea how or what to use. i am also pretty good at writing and storytelling so i thought maybe i could combine my skills to make a webtoon. ofcourse i know that its gonna take a long time to organise and make everything, but im still up for it. i have been researching on the internet but i still need more clarified answers like what devices or what programs you need or are there any aditional skills that you need to learn. even im on a budget i want to use good resources. would love if anyone could give me a detailed explanation on the process of making a webtoon . thank you so much.

yeah i dont like glenn. i dont about others infact i feel like im the only one who does not like glenn but anyway. ive never really liked glenn ever since he was introduced, something about him just seemed different. dont come at me. the story is really good actually and all the characters are also pretty good. but glenn, i dunno. i just feel like he constantly tries to subjugate ed and own him through means of money and sex. ( the porn industry is pretty much like this. they exploit people and also engage in various criminal activities. so thats why i keep my feelings for glenn in the grey are, afterall he is the ceo of a very famous porn production company). this is what i dont like about him. the subtle way ( since nobody really notices or acknowledges) through which he abuses his power and influence in the sex industry. going as low as making r*pe porn just to make money which left ryan traumatised. ( for which he only just apologised )
he wants to continue doing porn but he doesnt want ed to do porn. not that he should do it but im just speaking about the unfairness. acting as if he owns him and sometimes i felt chang and glenn are just two sides of the same coin.（￣へ￣）
i really wanted ed to not end up with glenn. i wanted an ending where everyone goes their own separate ways ; ryan leaving porn and opening his food truck, glenn leaving porn and pursuing his career as a playwright and ed leaving porn, glenn and chang ( i just hate thus guy) to start anew and maybe pursue his acting career.
i think glenn might not be the correct partner for ed. he is kinda sorta selfish and power abusive? welp anyway thank you for being patient and reading my long ass rant. i know its a little all over the place. and also please dont hesitate to correct me if i wrote something wrong somewhere. anyway what about you? do you like/dislike him ? should i add something else to my rant? i would love to hear your thoughts on this.
well imma peace out now. bai bai.(づ￣ ³￣)づ

yes. you read it right. i know you're tired of hearing and reading this word again and again if you read BL. I am too. ╥﹏╥ but this is what happened; so i uploaded a post asking why do people justify seungho's behavior (stupid me). i had no intention of shaming or stopping the readers from what they like. In fact i am against it. i never shame people for ther preferences. no matter how weird it is. i never ask them to justify why they like a character. and no one else should too. they have every right choosing what story they like, what characters they like, what authors they like. i asked the question genuinely in the nicest, most non-offensive way of asking a question.┗( T﹏T )┛

but you know what i got? long ass overanalyzed thesis papers full of hatred. and not jsut one but many. the replies were so complex ,everything was flying above my head. likeeee whaaaattttt. i even apologized. i feel bad now because i think i offended them badly. i am a simple person ( and sensitive too) my point was simple. my life is simple. but im stressed. i cant peacefully peace out now.
welp i guess the force is strong with this guy. what do yall think?
please dont attack.