Shitass's Questions (2)

I need some rich BL please I BEG

I'm looking for the title of this thing I was reading a while back but forgot what it was called so it starts off with the main character I think he was on a train then it's like a flashback to when he was a kid and there was his babysitter who was babysitting him cause his mother had work and stuff then after the flashback it goes to him like getting into a fight with these people which one of them brought of knife and his babysitter seen him and went to protect him since he's been with them ever since he was small and so the babysitter got stabbed and the people ran away and the babysitter ends of in the hospital but there's another flashback with the main character as a kid and he was going to cook for his baby sitter when he wasn't watching and when the babysitter heard the noise he ran over and he got burned and the main character starting to cry cause he burned him then after the flashback (there's a lot of those) he recovers to get out of the hospital then the next chapter is them at the house. The main character is mad at the babysitter for still treating him like a kid, the babysitter knows he's mad but he has good intentions he just doesn't want him to get hurt to he knocks on the door asking if he can come in the main character said yeah and then he went in. The babysitter sat down and talked with the main then things started to heat up since the main started to get mad then the main started to touch the babysitter so he could show him that he wasn't a kid anymore then they basically start having sex when the mom is getting ready to leave and the mom asked if they wanted her to get the futon for them and the main covered the babysitter's mouth so the mom wouldn't hear his moans he says no and that he knows where they are and that if they're going to be okay and the babysitter answers now and they almost got caught but she leaves for work and they are still doing the dirty and the babysitters like "what if we had gotten caught?" and stuff like that and that's where I stopped reading cause I went to do something else and everything else is hazy but I really thought it'd be interesting so if you know what the title is can you help me out?