Someone's Things

I'm a Muslim from a very religious family. (16) We struggle every day to live. I'm a girl so it's even more difficult to live since we don't hold our future. I never had a mom. And all I remember is my dad giving her medicines after that she became paralysed. She couldn't talk or move we helped her to eat. But my father never took her to a proper hospital. She died after that.

I was raped when I was 7. Never told anybody. My dad is a very religious type of person he doesn't let us have a phone or Internet coz he doesn't trust it. We don't have much but I have an older sister she's 30 she should be living her life but instead she's being used as a slave by my dad he treats her however he wants coz of that she has become crazy and talks with herself all the time it's too scary to see he gives her medicines and say '' you all don't know I know and I know better'' he even beat us if we wrong him coz of this reason he doesn't listen to anyone and doesn't take her to a hospital. But treats her himself despite not being a doctor (he was in the army) he's mf 60 y/o

I live in a village with not much ficilities. We don't even have gas here I hate it. Village people don't take pity on us but they taunt us and spread rumours about my family. I hate my school. I don't have any friends. My dad doesn't want me to get education and says to stay at home 24/7 what else am I suppose to do?? Become a maid?

I don't get the things I need or want makes me depressed and I never smile coz of that reason my dad doesn't know what he's doing is wrong and no one can stop him. I have been trying to kill myself. I can't sleep at nights cuz they are always awake (we only have 2 rooms one is for my brother) I can't study. I can't see my future. So it's better to die than be in this shit hole.

It's been 6 long years and nothing changed so I can't keep up. Planing to die on my birthday. I'll keep you all updated one day before. (if you want)

I know you all don't care or can't do anything about it but still you reading this makes it 10 times better.

If you are not in a situation like me please be grateful. God's been testing us for too long I'm so done.

My time is up for using Internet (2 hours a day) if anyone finds out what I'm doing I'm dead for sure.

Bye and thanks

What is life