idk where else i could share this. i did questionable things and i feel karma just hit me in my face but its so hard to accept things. i am in love with a man who has a gf. he cheated on her with me, see i wont defend myself but as to why i did it with him is cuz i genuinely believed he also loved me and he would leave her. he said being with her was a mistake and he had always ever loved me. why did i believe him. i never knew his gf so i didnt even think how unfair it was to her. he always told me how toxic she was and how theyre just about to break up. anyways i knew him before he started dating the girl and got distanced due to friends group drama. i drunk called and confessed to him and he said he always loved me and i believed him and then got involved with him. my life was going downhill at that time and i overly relied on him. idk what happened he suddenly flipped one day, started treating me badly. he said he doesnt want to leave his gf and i was hurt but tried to be ok with him but he reached out to me again and i was too much in love. um i recently turned 20 and i was always a virgin. not that i never was in a relationship before, but i never went to that stage. idk why i couldnt say no, i was so desperate for him to choose me, so i lost my virginity to him. he ghosted me and i felt hopeless, got depressed and cried all day long. i stopped going to classes and everything. we got into a fight and he blocked me from everywhere. its been months and im still unable to move on. a part of me feels it was deserved, but it just hurts so much... so um how do i move on...i know i did shitty things but i hope i can get genuine advice