So, I had this "boyfriend" but I broke up with him after a few weeks because I didn't really feel like we could click in any way and because things were too awkward even after a few weeks (he's just a bit socially awkward). When I broke up with him, I told him that I thought I just wasn't really ready for a relationship, and he said it was okay, but after that, he posted something on his insta story (in japanese, but he doesn't speak japanese so I just google translated it;;) and he said that maybe if he had been a better boyfriend, things might've been better, and how he hates his life, and all of this other depressing stuff. I felt really bad about breaking up with him, but do you think it was something worth complaining about like that? It really hurt my feelings for him to do that (although I didn't tell him) because it made it seem like I had broken up with him in a bad way, especially when we're in the same friend group (bad idea in the first place, I know). Also, I'm a little annoyed because one of my friends who's been friends with him for a while kept telling that we "looked so happy together" and that I "should try getting back with him," and it makes me really uncomfortable, and it annoys me because I've told her several times that I don't want to. Any advice on what I should do? Should I just let it go, or should I tell her straight up that it bothers me when she asks me things like that? (Sorry that this is so long, and if you actually read all of it, thank you;;)
Personal experience: I was with a pretty manipulative guy for a while who would threaten suicide or self harm to get what he wanted. I didn’t think we were going out or in a relationship however he did and told all of our mutual friends that we were dating. I’ll spare the details however some of what your saying rings a bell. Some things went down and he was told not to contact me by the school counselor. A friend of mine kept on saying how cute we would be together and how I should talk to him again and many things similar to this. Little did I know it was because he was messaging her to be his wing man and lying to her about our situation. So, I’m wondering if there is any possibility that maybe your friend is being an ally/wingman for your ex? Just a theory or what happened in my case. Honestly I don’t know what else you should say to her other than stop. You’ve already said that you don’t want to go out with him so that’s why I’m wondering if there is a reason behind it? Anyways, if she keeps pushing it my advice is to tell her up front that you aren’t attracted to him in any way shape or form and don’t want a relationship with him in the slightest. Harsh words but at the same time it’s kind of what needs to be said in this case if she isn’t getting the message.
Personal experience: I was with a pretty manipulative guy for a while who would threaten suicide or self harm to get what he wanted. I didn’t think we were going out or in a relationship however he did and to... RaeAir
I feel the need to say that I’m not saying that the guy you were with was manipulative or anything, sorry if it came across that way. From what it seems I think he’s just a self conscious guy who wasn’t ready for a relationship. People handle break ups differently and something that may seem like not a big deal to one person could be life changing for another. When it comes to handling that situation I would suggest giving him time. I know distancing yourself might be rather hard if you have the same friend group but if possible I would hang out with other people or just try and stay out of conversations that he’s participating in. Give him time.
from my experience, a boy from the same group of friends fell for me in the middle school like 8th grade,he confessed and i sugarcoated my no,he was devastated, telling me i have no idea what is be capable of doing to himself, he was so persistent, and things settled for a while and we continue to hang around in that group of friends, then he confessed again and when i refused he was asking whyy,what is so wrong with him, while i just cant be with someone i dont like and i was in love with someone whole this time, after middle school fimished and we all parted ways in high school ,our group of friends was destroyed cuz many of them went to this side and one to my side and she is still my bff and i love her so much,but i dont see why this had to happen what i am trying to say is, please dont try to sugarcoat your breakup,men mostly think we drop hints and misundsrstood situation, and posting stuff like that, i think that is just unconsidirated .about the friend , i have few frienda like that, that dont understand a thing no matter what you say,and they often do it just for fun, pairing people, you dont own them an explanation or anything, just if it annoys you tell them to stop
So, I had this "boyfriend" but I broke up with him after a few weeks because I didn't really feel like we could click in any way and because things were too awkward even after a few weeks (he's just a bit socially awkward). When I broke up with him, I told him that I thought I just wasn't really ready for a relationship, and he said it was okay, but after that, he posted something on his insta story (in japanese, but he doesn't speak japanese so I just google translated it;;) and he said that maybe if he had been a better boyfriend, things might've been better, and how he hates his life, and all of this other depressing stuff. I felt really bad about breaking up with him, but do you think it was something worth complaining about like that? It really hurt my feelings for him to do that (although I didn't tell him) because it made it seem like I had broken up with him in a bad way, especially when we're in the same friend group (bad idea in the first place, I know). Also, I'm a little annoyed because one of my friends who's been friends with him for a while kept telling that we "looked so happy together" and that I "should try getting back with him," and it makes me really uncomfortable, and it annoys me because I've told her several times that I don't want to. Any advice on what I should do? Should I just let it go, or should I tell her straight up that it bothers me when she asks me things like that?
(Sorry that this is so long, and if you actually read all of it, thank you;;)
Personal experience: I was with a pretty manipulative guy for a while who would threaten suicide or self harm to get what he wanted. I didn’t think we were going out or in a relationship however he did and told all of our mutual friends that we were dating. I’ll spare the details however some of what your saying rings a bell. Some things went down and he was told not to contact me by the school counselor. A friend of mine kept on saying how cute we would be together and how I should talk to him again and many things similar to this. Little did I know it was because he was messaging her to be his wing man and lying to her about our situation. So, I’m wondering if there is any possibility that maybe your friend is being an ally/wingman for your ex? Just a theory or what happened in my case. Honestly I don’t know what else you should say to her other than stop. You’ve already said that you don’t want to go out with him so that’s why I’m wondering if there is a reason behind it? Anyways, if she keeps pushing it my advice is to tell her up front that you aren’t attracted to him in any way shape or form and don’t want a relationship with him in the slightest. Harsh words but at the same time it’s kind of what needs to be said in this case if she isn’t getting the message.
I feel the need to say that I’m not saying that the guy you were with was manipulative or anything, sorry if it came across that way. From what it seems I think he’s just a self conscious guy who wasn’t ready for a relationship. People handle break ups differently and something that may seem like not a big deal to one person could be life changing for another. When it comes to handling that situation I would suggest giving him time. I know distancing yourself might be rather hard if you have the same friend group but if possible I would hang out with other people or just try and stay out of conversations that he’s participating in. Give him time.
from my experience, a boy from the same group of friends fell for me in the middle school like 8th grade,he confessed and i sugarcoated my no,he was devastated, telling me i have no idea what is be capable of doing to himself, he was so persistent, and things settled for a while and we continue to hang around in that group of friends, then he confessed again and when i refused he was asking whyy,what is so wrong with him, while i just cant be with someone i dont like and i was in love with someone whole this time, after middle school fimished and we all parted ways in high school ,our group of friends was destroyed cuz many of them went to this side and one to my side and she is still my bff and i love her so much,but i dont see why this had to happen
what i am trying to say is, please dont try to sugarcoat your breakup,men mostly think we drop hints and misundsrstood situation, and posting stuff like that, i think that is just unconsidirated .about the friend , i have few frienda like that, that dont understand a thing no matter what you say,and they often do it just for fun, pairing people, you dont own them an explanation or anything, just if it annoys you tell them to stop