Nonochan's Topics (20)

Its a two way street...

Keep in mind a lot of people on this website might be young ppl who don’t have experience in romance. So any immaturity I chalk up to that

Girlie, I know, we know. I’m just focusing on Garam right now because he keeps messing things up again and again lately and he is not owning to his mistakes. Instead, he is just blaming Jaehyuk for every single bad thing that happens in the relationship, and I knew it would happen, I knew Jaehyuk would sooner or later decide to back up (in this case because of Garam’s health issues that he himself poorly managed, let’s be fr now), and I’m glad he did. Now both of them can take their time to think and reflect on whether they want to keep behaving this way or just end things on a good note

Makes so much sense lol because some comments are just baffling to say the least. It really shows people has not encountered real life abusers, narcissists or manipulative partners (and I pray they don’t) who really and truly drain the life out of you and your will to keep even loving yourself xdd

I can sense your frustration from a thousand miles away! Garam is very negative and scared, Jaehyuk instead of making him feel protected shoved his beliefs (because he just love him and nothing mattered - he just love him).. they did not take it slow to understand the fears the effects and how to actually tackle it, it was chaotic to read... I didnt like that it reached this point...

But all I can see now is Jaehyuk's efforts to do what Garam actually whats, and Garam actually has headspace to think and realize maybe how much Jaehyuk meant to him, maybe something worth jumping over the fence for.
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Yeah it makes me happy they haven’t had such terrible life experiences…well maybe yet at least. But I do hope they know the signs so they stay away from those experiences

I mean, who wouldn’t be frustrated seeing two people on completely different pages trying to force something that’s not gonna work unless both sides really decide to do something about it??? Garam needs to be alone to think and learn about his mistakes, so I hope he will be alone for a long time before deciding to engage in anything romantically. Jaehyuk needs to understand that some people think and process information differently; he cannot pretend to know how others might feel towards certain situations, especially if he hasn’t experienced them himself. Also, it’s important to be complacent sometimes towards your partner, not always, and both of them need to acknowledge that and set boundaries.

Yes, truly. I think they won’t know the signs if they fall in love first, because you know what they say, love blinds us. Unless they notice them beforehand, most of them will have to experience the whole ordeal to get a grasp of what’s going on and finally get out of it… That’s why people need time alone, to realize this kind of things and learn what they want and don’t want from their partner

So true

Omg yes a cute baby girl

YES

oh yes, my boyfriend just gave me an ultimatum to force myself to come out after trying to non-consensually out me in the public just in the same day but you know what let me put my hurt aside and go to comfort him cause screaming more means you are hurt more. dumb enough logic. both of them sat in silence, not just one and that was after Jh gave a pretty horrible ultimatum. Also another thing, Jh doesn't need to accept the break up since he is the one who proposed it.

No offense but are you queer? Cause this sounds like the perspective of a straight person who doesn't understand how horrifying having to come out of, ESPECIALLY in korea

It’s not about whether to come out or not, it’s about being at different points in the relationship. One is ready to be open about his relationship because he hasn’t experienced any hardship regarding his sexual orientation and the other is pretty much traumatized after a very unfortunate experience with a typical closeted religious person. I understand, and that’s precisely why sitting and talking about it would be the first thing a decent adult would do, not run away from the problem leaving a note behind, like ?? Are you fr now?? Outing someone is not okay, you don’t have to say it (it’s pretty obvious and it was stupid of him to even suggest because JH already more or less knows what he endured), so it’s not okay leaving your partner behind with a note lmao like ?? Lastly, he isn’t the one who proposed it, it was a given when Garam decided to leave without saying so much as a freaking note, he was just genuinely upset asking if that is what he meant, and Garam didn’t reply, so that’s a yes.

Lol no offense taken. I am, and have been for many years because I came out when I was about to enter puberty (I had pretty clear I liked both men and women) and people around me just shrugged their shoulders in general and didn’t care (I live in one of the most queer-populated country lmao, that must be why ig). The Korea part I get it, that is very true. Still, the two of them shouldn’t be dating if they don’t feel prepared to either be open or be discreet about their relationship, it’s unfair for both of them, and I wouldn’t tolerate any childish behavior from any of them. Communication is key ╮(￣▽￣)╭

But "sitting and talking about it" is not the first thing ml did. He pretty much just tried to announce it to the whole world without Garam's honest input. It's even more hurtful thinking how he knew Garam didn't want it and still tried to put Garam through it. Then again Garam tried to tell him he did not like it but what does the ml do? He shrugs it off and goes on the rant about "What about how I feel" buddy that should be communicated not thrown at your partner and then try to play the victim when your partner calls out on your shitty behavior. I'm not saying Garam's decision to take a step back was a mature thing to do but he also felt like he was not in the right emotional headspace to even face his partner so he took a step back. Could he have not moved out but taken a hotel? yes. that's what he should have done. But why are we expecting maturity for a character when the other character acts like an immature donkey kicking and screaming at every chance he gets but then again it is "justified".

Also it's not fair to nitpick things with "that's a given" unless the words are specifically said so. and jh was the one who brought break up first. I could also argue that when Jh violated a major boundary by trying to out Garam and then ignored Garam's feelings, he was trying to ruin Garam and make him dependent on him. Should I label him as an abuser too? I know this is a ridiculous argument to make but to make a "given" argument when Jh is the one who first spoke of break up and try to pin it on Garam is very disingenuous. If he was genuinely upset then he should have led with that. Not propose a ridiculous ultimatum where there is no right answer. If he said yes to ultimatum, he will have to force himself to come out, if he says no then that's just means breaking up. Again, we are just nitpicking on what small actions Garam takes and how it would affect Jh but the actions of Jh that impacts Garam are as clear as a day.

I mean- you can tell JH has never been a part of the lgbtq+ community. I honestly think he just didn’t think much of it (coming out) as he has never had to do so nor worry about it being a straight guy. I don’t see him being tactless, I just reckon he genuinely just wanted to express his love for Garam, not corner him into coming out. Also, even JH says in one of these recent chapters while arguing about their relationship that if Garam said so, he would just respect his desire to keep the relationship a secret. By the way, do you remember how Garam wanted to gift JH couple rings but didn’t do it at the last second because he felt insecure after his encounter with JH’s parents? Why would he even think of gifting a token known to be shared between partners in a relationship if he was so unsure about whether to come out or not? What, would he only wear it when they are together, or would he hide it while outside??? And then, when JH thinks the same (without knowing it) he just straight slaps it away from himself, as if it was the plague… I could never tolerate any of that bs. Lastly, hold on a second. Nitpicking? Why, because I’m taking into account not only words, but tone, body language and actions? I’m the reader and I can see everything from an omniscient point of view, but both of them can’t. If you ask your partner what about your relationship after they deliberately run away from you, not explaining themselves but with a measly note, I think more than one person would reevaluate whether it’s worth being together or not. Yes, JH does stupid stuff, but so does Garam, and this was one of them. Only difference? Things would be over for most people at this point.

Ah okay gotchu, didn't mean to jump to conclusions, we all have different experiences :')

It’s alright, it makes sense that you would think that if you had a bad experience before or heard about a bad one from someone close to you. I hope you can heal, love freely and be yourself<3

That is him being tactless. There is no excuse for a person who knows that his partner doesn't like something and then goes on to do that exact same thing, in public, without ever communicating his feelings. I will not even entertain this excuse.

I don't know where the ring things came from and it is not part of the argument but sure. Unless you are in the same room, people won't make a connection. Many couples hidden in the closet do the same. I have seen so many people using a necklace or a bracelet or a ring to share between them even if they are not out. Cause one, no one nitpicks that small detail. also it won't be found out until you are in the same room. Two, turns out being in a conservative country, people will not make connection that two same gender are in love just because they share a piece of jewelry because surprise, they are conservative.

Garam slapped the ring away cause....he felt insecure about sharing the ring not because other people might see it. This is wrong and I acknowledge. But then Jh act of throwing the ring away and kicking away the trashcan immediately after when Garam tried reaching for it is something not to be tolerated in a relationship as well. if you are trigger that your partner slapped your ring away but don't think your act of slamming and kicking things is justified or good, then please reevaluate things. Both are bad and we can agree on that.

"nitpicking" yes nitpicking because you try to analyze the hidden tones the author didn't even put there just for ONE character while you continue to make excuses after excuses for another character. You say you analyze everything from an omniscient pov but you only account for Garam's actions. Again the justifications for Jh's crashout: he's dumb, he's an idiot, he doesn't have much experience, he just did it out of love. All these things don't justify what is wrong, it's wrong.

" Things would be over for most people at this point. " I agree as well. It would be over for most when their partner tried to out them knowing they don't want to. It would be over for many people way before this point. Also it feels annoying when you ignore half of my argument in the prev comment and then bring up Garam's issues to cover for Jh's wrongdoings.