babao

Something about this is so refreshing. The porn wasn't obscene and raunchy, instead was really romantic and raw. I love their chemistry and development, the art style also matched the overall tone of this story. Individually, the characters are all admirable and even the side characters are memorable. They're all given a screentime that's 'just right'. This is definitely one of the few manhwas with really good control of writing and pacing. Each arc was well thought out on how it'll flow and how the next arc connects.

I've reread this a few times because of how good it is, and the little dose of angst was so good too. I don't know if it's just me and a few, but I definitely teared up a bit when it was the Jungoh Nightmare Seedling Arc.

NS Jungoh was so sincere I actually felt hurt when he was desperate for Ibeom to choose him. When NS Jungoh said "I thought you'd choose me." Or "But you loved them all." (regarding the memories), I actually felt my heart twist and cry. I feel like a good part of our subconscious is aware of our coping mechanisms and inner desires. That's why they stay, because it's what keeps us sane and alive. NS Jungoh was a manifestation of Ibeom's insecurity, loneliness, and greed to possess Real Jungoh's affections.

NS Jungoh definitely doesn't belong to the 'human nature' category, but his actions spoke of raw instinct and affection. He loved Ibeom, he wanted Ibeom to be happy. He only wanted Ibeom to stay, and for Ibeom to stay and be happy meant to indulge in the dreams and fantasies that has kept him afloat in the past. In a way, I felt that NS Jungoh being quiet and locked in a keychain was fitting, but a part of me hoped we could've heard more from him. The ending scene was nonetheless fitting with NS Jungoh protecting Ibeom and telling Ibeom to call Jungoh. No matter what, NS Jungoh only wanted Ibeom to be happy and safe. He just wanted Ibeom's heart and affections.

Honestly, I didn't expect I'd sympathize the Nightmare Seedling as much, but this story really made a good 'villain' and with such charming and loveable main couple, it wasn't hard to have this manhwa as my top faves. I hope we can read another masterpiece like this again.

On a real note, Jueun can't exactly be blamed. He's literally acting like any normal child would which is to fawn over a parental figure. To be honest, even his memory is pretty realistic, most children don't remember details of their youth of 5 or 6 and below and it's just hazy snapshots of it.

Even so, I can't blame Jiheon either. Being an older child in an orphanage can be mind breaking. The more a child grows up in an orphanage means the more he witnesses children come and go. Not to mention, he has been praying obsessively for family. To be given Jueun was the ultimate catalyst of if he'll stay sane or not. Overcome by his loneliness and obsession, he doesn't take into account what a normal child is and thinks only about his own pain.

Personally, Jiheon is repulsive, but I can't 100% blame him either. I don't think he lived an easy childhood upon being adopted as well. On top of having an inborn mentally unstable disposition, there was nothing healthy that could stabilize him as he grew up. I feel awful for him.

I feel just as awful for Jueun who became Jiheon's object of obsession and affections. They were both just children who wanted to be loved.

On a more critical note, I wish the writing was a bit better . I think the characters have potential but I guess this is the pitfall of Korean BL Manhwas and the excessive porn scenes...