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Good stuff doesn't last long...

In the early chapter (1 or 2?) Alex swore to Louise that he will regress over and over and over again and be a perfect husband for her. That's probably the first time he used his mana. So, the system saying the og Alex drifting to another world must've been a done deal after receiving this "reward." Alex is an intellectual (book smart), so he probably devised this system after countless rebirths. And since he went to another world, and one of the worlds were 21st century Earth (presumably), he probably know about games, AI, and the likes. He didn't know if his name Ian was given by his parents (meaning he probably doesn't know his parents in that other world or he doesn't have any because he apparently transported himself into that world so he could learn various things. Judging by how the system made him do things that could aide him in this life rerun (or continuation), he probably programmed it that way for the sake of his promise. The downside was he couldn't remember it all.
(But, just like any other Isekai story, this could be a story where he made himself regress so he could correct everything.)
One proof, he didn't like women in the apocalyptic world. But he didn't dislike Louise.

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It's been a while. I don't even know where I left off. So, I read the last chapter. And . . .
I cried.

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I'm already reading chapter 292 in the novel, and for some reason the 30-yr-old Eden keeps haunting my sympathy.

We saw him from this manhwa's chapter 1, and in this current arc (ch 100) and his shitty personality. No one could argue about his character, right? To the fans' pov, (not us readers) he's really disappointing, probably infuriating even. We saw it, his confidence in his skills can easily be seen as cocky, without regards to the fans who brought REVE in that position.

I was also reminded of ogCheon Yise (Feeding the Life of Failed Idols, or so my memory says), who was just frustrated of how his life turned out, when someone else succeeded in reviving their dying group. "It could've been me."

The 30-yr-old Eden here is also the 27-yr-old Eden who regressed, and currently the 23-yr-old Eden who's fixing his idol life. Even still, 30-yr-old Eden's grudges about his now life is understandable. His life and relationships before regression is not entirely his fault. Of course, I wouldn't say he's not at fault. He has a colorful personality, after all.
Dobin reminded him of his bully.
Jaehee couldn't rely on him as a hyung.
Yehyun wasn't particularly eager of improving his skills (and of course it would've been frustrating that they all have the skills but they rode on Yehyun's face card bus).
And Hajun didn't trust their friendship enough to confide about his guilt, and cut him off.
And so, the fallout.
Aside from that, there's D.I and crew. Some neighborhood gossipmongers who just had to slander them.
KICKS backstabbing them.

Man, it must have been really painful.

He was left all alone.

With communication, that could've been resolved.
But he just had to take offense on featuring on DTB because some mf said D.I pities him for being flop. That's offensive, yeah, but why not ask the person involved? Tbf, tho, the situation must've been really difficult. His mind was a mess. I doubt he will understand D.I's intentions.

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD

Hajun was wrong for cutting him off without a word. Although, I don't really blame Hajun entirely, Eden just wanted one, freaking 1 reply!

Yehyun didn't particularly make so much mistake in my opinion, his confidence rooting from his handsome face and how his group became popular because of him is kind of justified. So, honestly, Eden's inferiority complex isn't his fault. There are just a lot of factors. And 27-yr-old regressed Eden has acknowledged that already.

And anywaaaay, what I really want to say is I appreciate 30-yr-old Eden. I love his five days with them. It was messy, but not really bad.
He couldn't see Hajun because he was hurt.
And when he was caught smoking and the stark contrast of Hajun's reaction back then and now, he was even more hurt, because he realized his friend already gave up on him.

I can't name the emotion he felt when he saw himself and D.I in a photo they took together. This is one of the most emotional part for me:
When the system stabilization reached 97%, he called his hyung. He snitched on himself for smoking. He wanted to be scolded. He acted spoiled as a 30-yr-old Eden to the current 30-yr-old D.I. He settled his resentment to the people who are clueless of the future he's now living.

If a stray is is gravely wounded and hissed at you, you just pity them. But the sad part of humanity is that doesn't apply to humans. They just expect you to handles things yourself, get a hold of your emotions. If you can't, you're just stupid.

But Eden is simple-minded. He's straightforward. He listens to Hajun. If anyone in the group had told him, would they end up like that? Of course, it wouldn't have been easy, but could it have been better? 30-yr-old Eden, in my opinion, just wanted answers. He's at fault for his fall, of course. All decisions have consequences. His personality isn't that good. But I really appreciate that he didn't ruin the current Eden. If anything, I think he was quite playful. It wasn't his fault that he couldn't make music anymore so him being useless about their comeback song is forgivable.
"To fully bloom" was a wish he has for the current Eden. He wished him to be happy this time.

And MAN! I wish I can see the 30-yr-old Eden be a little at ease, living his life normally. It's okay if he's sad, but maybe with less alcohol and smokes. And occasionally smiles. Probably apologized to D.I. It's okay if they didn't make up entirely, but would it be possible to have them meet and have a closure? I'm not sure about Hajun. Unlike innocent D.I, Hajun's coldness is not something I can tolerate.
Eden didn't have to retrieve all his skills. But probably turn a music up and bob to the beat. He could be ordinary. But, a little better. Curtains drawn, some light to his house, walks outside everyday, and just live.
Because my heart aches for this child who lost his way.

Currently at chapter 275
This one's a rollercoaster, one moment you're serious, sad, about to cry, resonating, then burst out laughing.
Good story.

If there is/are kindhearted soul/s around here, please please please give us the link of the novel. Pleeeeeease!

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