Ami-Ajini

What if initially I genuinely desire to assist them, but upon realizing they're taking advantage of me, I feel obligated to help? Does that count as a fake hospitality? And I can't refuse them cause I feel bad(´ . . . `)

literally not at all, fake hospitality is exactly what it sounds like. its assistance/kindness offered from an insincere place with selfish intentions

if they're taking advantage, then that's when you should put a boundary. However, in this case, seyeong was not taking advantage. He was cleaning, buying foods, and had a plan to immediately move out if he gets the chance. And it's only been 2 weeks

Are you me? I feel like your description is of me....
It is exactly what I went through.

But now I kinda put plenty space between us and stopping myself turning into doormat.
And most of those time that I helped, it involve money.

When the amount get bigger and more often, I start putting down on notes and inform them that this is too big to brush off as "helping" for free.

I still keep the notes, and they know exactly how big the amount is, but I never charge interest and never chase them for the repayment except when I urgently need extra money for my own family, then I ask them to pay me back just a little.

All these happened start from very small stuff like me covering for "them" yes, it is "them" for things like groceries.
Then, stuff like their child's nappy.
Then, going out to eat good food.
Then, rent.
Then, their Fines for breaking the traffic rules.
Then, plane tickets for their sibling+family.
Then, their deposit for new car.
Then, etc.....
........

After I get away from this bad cycle, I start wondering if I got hypnotised or gaslighted during that moment????
Because at that time, everytime they ask me to lend them money, it only took me couple seconds before finished wiring them those money. Like, automatically.

Can you give me advice on how to politely cut them off? We're only 16 but they assume that I already have a job to be obligated about their financial problems, so what if I get a job then they will rely their expenses on me?! I prefer not to be connected to them in the near future, especially they know that I'm going to a foreign country that have high salary pay compared to my country. One of them even told me to offer them a job if they don't succeed in their college courses. Why am I so unlucky with finding friends? I mean I want to help them but I don't like how they befriend me just for them to take advantage of my kindness(〒﹏〒)

Poor Seyeong. That's why he has trust issues with people

For me, it was hard to cut them off, fortunately it was like the timing was perfect, I needed to move away quite far, and at first even after I moved, I still lend them money. But my new housemates (we were acquaintance) that I convide in, strictly scolded me for lending them money. They told me, if I receive a message from them, don't open it right away, don't read it. Leave the message for 1 day. And if the message is about asking for help or money, show the message to people who you can convide in.
Ask someone to help you stop yourself from being taken advantage of.
Because at this point, it is hard to stop by ourselves.

When you start lessening the contact between you guys, and able to refuse one of their request, it will be easier to refuse 2nd time.

When you refuse to help, do not be rude. Just give them a reason. You can use somebody else name as a reason.
Example: I used the reason that my money running low since I eat out a lot, shopping a lot, and rent is too high now.
....
And since you are moving away soon to foreign country, just slowly slowly try not to engage with them too much.
About asking you to find a job for them, just tell them, "if I am able to find a job I can introduce, I will, but nowadays, it's hard to find a job, most of them want you to have at least 1 year of experience. I can introduce you to the job, but wether you will get in or not will depend on you and the boss".
......
Stop caring about what they gonna say about you and stop caring wether they will fare well.
You must think that who would you prefer to help?
Them or peope who you actually care?
Will you help them who don't care about you or will you give better care for the one you love?
......
As I am now kinda regretting lending them money for useless reason.
Now that I want to buy the dream house of my own, I don't have enough money for it.
When my dear brother's son got sick and needed hospitalised for couple more days, I don't have enough money to chip in. (My dear brother is hard working guy but hospital is crazy expensive).
......
So, before you going to give your help to them knowing how bad these people are...
First imagine what you want/need for your loved one, about your own future and stability.
.......
I also only have them as my only friends so it is hard to separate myself because I don't want to be alone.
.....
But friends can be found in new place, and now you know which you should keep close and which you should avoid.
.....
Focusing on carreer you're interested in or good hobbies can help to reduce the loneliness until you find true friends.

I'm sorry I edited my spelling mistakes but I can't see the responses anymore?

Dw it's back

I really appreciate all of your advice. It takes a lot of experience to give this kind of advice. I hope you're doing good and find true friends too