inanotherlifemaybeitllbeokay's Things

I was 9 or 10 years old when i felt that dying was the only thing that will let me go be at peace. 20 years have passed, i have a wife and children, i have things I'm passionate about but it's still there, I still want to die. Every single day I still want to die.
I don't know why I'm feeling this way or why o want it so much.