Vent rant hating myself when I become the thinker with philosophical soup questions and genuinely overload myself into tiredness. It all started at the shower, thinking, and I don't even remember how it started anymore. Pondered if there is inherent wrongness in killing and violence. Contemplated and wrote for 3-4 hours. it's almost 3 AM, I'm exha...... reply
Just finished reading a beautiful short story here to recommend spending 30 minutes of your time on this beautifully written gem:
"The Phoenix Once Roamed"
https://www.novelupdates.com/series/the-phoenix-once-roamed/
The novel is just 7 parts and relatively short. The summary is a bit misleading since it's not dementia, but the MC is ill w...... 2 reply
Eh ngl too many things have happened to this one addiction of mine this year...lost mgg lists, lost toki (which was the actual bulk of my reading since I MTL novel raws), the explosion of shtty/ai translations (it's been around for a while but it's shittiest it's been), and upcoming loss of tapas. Maybe it's time to go do something else if it hits ...... reply
Because there's a completely different experience from anything I've ever had in the past or before the current self down the line. I don't think I ever imagined or envisioned i could feel or experience the way I do now. No dramatic experience or reversal. If life was a walking dead compared to the past from now--I certainly crossed that and had a ...... reply
Rule of thumb for me: don't take things personally, most of them got a reason or dealing with sht to feel that way about it. Sometimes they're projecting. Sometimes i get to learn; learn a little something / something new, but do i have to listen? Maybe , maybe not
But i understand really coz wdym there's pages and pages of complaints, fighting and...... reply
Yeah i also have memory problems ( i always say i have goldfish memory). It could be a lot of things honestly, depends on your situation. It could be trauma, other mental health issues, doomscrolling, adhd/audhd/asd, and a bunch of other stuff
Edit: like the other comment said, keep a journal or notes. I journal about what i did or important thoug...... reply
Yesterday I had a nightmare. It felt like a film where I'm observing this girl devour the person beside them on the bed. I can't quite recall if it was a woman or a man. The girl is similar to a vampire or a version of it. These creatures are perfectly normal and live regular lives in society before they awaken. The conditions for them to awaken is to eat another person. It's like a sudden initiation of maturity. They might be ignorant or might be slightly/subconsciously aware that they're not human before it happens. The person they eat ends up morphing into a bat-like face, just like the face of the girl morphing into one in the process. The body corrodes and crumbles as they eat it, like it's sucking the vitality out of it. While i didn't see it in the dream, i just know that the corpse might turn into the same kind or just die in that state. The dream ends with the girl looking at me/spotting me. Anyway it was very unlike me to have that dream and I haven't had a horror one in a while; was also semi-lucid. Wasn't as terrifying of an experience but i do think it's kinda cool? As a manga premise or something. I've had some other dreams with cool plotlines too but share your cool dreams please
This thought popped up a few days ago, but we conventionally relate age and maturity in direct proportion to time and experience. We experience a linear progression to age with time (even though, age, technically, should be a more physically related idea) and much of our thoughts about it is the same way. Maturity is a more complicated metric in that it shows through an assessed growth from overall and cumulative experience -- both quantitative and qualitative. Other factors like culture, relationships, environment, age, physical, social and mental development are also part of that. Age and Maturity are closely related in that sense.
Reinncarnation basically subverts the linear association to the experience of age and maturity. In a lot *and i mean a fk ton cough* of works, the MC will count their lives lived in their 2nd life as their "actual" age. Say you died 20 years old before you reincarnated, so the following 20 years you lived after that is considered additive to your actual, mental maturity, age or experience (40 years old). It's normal to agree to that sentiment, but I've been thinking that that might not actually be a fair assessment. Living an environment with cultural and relational interactions unique to age 0-20 and repeating that is vastly different from living one life until you're 40. You have never experienced the cumulative linear progression of one who has lived 40 years--at least, you have never reached the maturity of someone's who's 40. Perhaps you can apply that to our experience with age (since we experience time as linear), but maturity would be very different.
What are your thoughts on this? Would you actually consider a reincarnated person's age and maturity as additive to their previous life?
did total desperation
did live in a bad country
