ThatBitch's Topics (90)

Where can I ind these? I need more!

Hi I think at first Law just wanted to be his equal but later on he realized he wanted something more, he wanted to subjugate Jesse and that is what happened I think especially considering that the behavior of Jesse at the end is not what he usually displays to Law so i guess that's the achievement ... I'll stop babbling now thanks

At least this relationship is portrayed as being abusive, and the legacy of the abuse for all concerned is ongoing. Too often in yaoi rape is regarded as "normal" and gets overlooked, which is bloody awful. At least with An Easy Target they call it rape themselves, and there isn't just a quick plaster fix to heal all the trauma. Personally in regards to the extra "what if...?" chapters, I think they were needed, as the original ending was fairly open, so this finishes things off in a more realistic way, as it shows that in every pairing, it will always be a struggle for Kyun-soo and his partner, as they live with the ongoing legacy of what happened. I don't think the pairing with the brother was believable though, it would be more likely that Yule would be the one he ended up (miserable) with. Whereas I guess most readers see Dong-hyuk as the best of a bad bunch, but at least in his story it shows that Kyun-soo is trying to move on, but is still realistically tormented by Yule, as though he has PTSD.

I agree~ although the rape scenes were quite distasteful to read through, we get to see that Kyungsoo was not your standard sub/uke/su who merely dismissed what was happening to him. I think it was how the emotions in his eyes were drawn and the numerous psychological implications this webtoon had that drew me to it.

He actually confronted Yule about being raped by him and pointed out to the brother (Geon) the sick things he did to him. I apologise, but I still cannot fathom why the author made an ending with Geon. It seemed like Kyungsoo had more reasons to choose Dong-Hyuk or Yule (the third cover supports that). Out of all the interactions Kyungsoo had with Geon in the original chapters, all I saw was fear, revulsion, anger,etc, so why would he choose to live his life with the one person who...violently raped him and traumatised him repeatedly? (︶︿︶)

The original ending is open ended I accept that. Theres 2 possible scenario, that he went with yule or rejected him again and kept living a lonely life but either way Kyung-Soo will never be happy. So that is what hurts me the most. T_T

I accepted the open ending too. Sure... he was still being stalked, but at least he was not physically isolated or imprisoned by those three. Sometimes, living the lonely life is the best option to begin healing. This webtoon should have a tragedy tag as it is so sad and tragic that Kyungsoo will never be happy or truly free. No amount of fluffiness can erase that horrible feeling that comes with reading this webtoon. ( T﹏T ) I wish I had read your warning. (︶︿︶)

IK I'm also shaken by this webtoon. I also ignored the warning and now i'm here feeling horrible for kyung-soo. I don't think a lifetime of healing would be enough for him they all broke his spirit so much I can't even imagine how is he living still now. He's very strong willed and resilient I really admire his quality. I wish nothing but love for kyung-soo. <3

Kyungsoo is like my favorite character in this webtoon, ugh, I think that was what the author was going for...pulling our heart strings when it comes to Kyungsoo. He is exceptionally strong and admirable. Total <3ness. I strongly wish for a 4th ending where Kyungsoo gets a happy ending and therapy, no more hurt, no more nightmares. I am scared for Dong-Hyuk’s ending and even more terrified with Yule’s ending. (⊙…⊙ ) Because we all know by now, if Yule is involved...scary.

I'd still like to see more of Yule's perspective, as his motivations for the abuse weren't conveyed that well. It seems more likely that Kyun-soo would have ended up with Yule, Yule is codependent on Kyun-soo now, and everytime they separate he says he ends up stopping eating and sleeping and tries to stalk him. Goodness knows how he's coping if he's in hospital then. It would be interesting to see if his character can be developed, at the least, he accepts that he did rape Kyun-soo, and actually uses that word to describe what happens, so it was never glossed over as is usually the case in yaoi. Kyun-soo is going to be tormented by him, no matter how they end up, but it would be positive to at least see a proper apology and Yule receiving treatment that helps him deal with his problems.

Omg, I like your thoughts/analysis on this. (●'◡'●) Most readers would just go..there is no plot, rape porn, here for the hot guy, etc... the author has an opportunity to expand on Yule’s perspective and motivations with his ending, hope she doesn’t disappoint. Did you see the image she posted on her twitter? I saw Kyungsoo, but I am not sure of the person with their eyes closed in the background with him?

Honestly, I think Yule is suffering from borderline personality disorder which drives his psychopathic actions/traits...he should be hospitalised in a mental hospital, for his and Kyungsoo’s sake but...hmmm...I am conflicted since Yule is now codependent on Kyungsoo like you mentioned. Funny how roles were reversed as Kyungsoo is no longer dependent on Yule with the open ending. I do not like the fact that even though we cannot consider Yule as Kyungsoo’s lover, Geon (brother) locked up Yule in a mental hospital and stole Kyungsoo away. That ending miffed me a lot. I am not saying Yule shouldn’t remain hospitalised, but I just don’t like cheaters and lover-stealers (haha, I do not know the term for that).

Did you read the conversation between Kyungsoo and Yule when he mentioned that Yule was raping him everyday? I facepalmed. (￣∇￣")

OH god you guys stirring up my emotions again. I'm conflicted about yule too. when he tried to sacrifice himself to choose between his life or kyungsoo i cried so much (for real). I wished his death on early chapters but at that point I was JUST NOT READY for him to die, I didn't want him to die. But after EVERYTHING i just can't trust yule anymore. I just can't. I know he loves kyungsoo and is probably recovering? My mind is telling me this time things may just be ok... BUT I JUST CAN'T. T_T

https://twitter.com/hhsis2/status/1020256532984782848
This one? I think in the background it might be Kyun-soo on top of Yule looking down at him, and in the foreground it's Yule clinging onto Kyun-soo. I think it's Yule, as their is greater emotional dependency and pain with them.

I didn't really think the story with Geon was the great, especially now we know he has been written to have his own love interest, like why is he so invested in his brother that he willing to commit a crime and destroy someone's life? As to the "what if" extra chapter, I never felt that Geon felt anything emotionally towards Kyun-soo, he felt annoyed that he fell into his brothers trap, and likely felt mortified and apologetic, but to the extent of wanting to "steal" Kyun-soo away from Yule and have a relationship, I don't think so. He already achieved his goal of getting his brother out of his life by detaining him at a hospital. Why would Kyun-soo go back to the environment of the brother and his house? He doesn't have any or much guilt towards the brother, in comparison to his feelings towards the other two men, and he never loved Geon, whereas he did love Yule, which is why the abuse was so horrific. It was understandable though that Geon said he didn't care if Kyun-soo wanted to top him, hurt him whatever, as pay back, but for Kyun-soo their pairing is purely a transaction, to keep Yule away from him.

The next episode is out on the Korean site and is a "what if" with Dong-hyuk. They have a more domestic setting, buying food, and bickering like normal but during the sex scene Dong-hyuk mentions about Yule being put in hospital, and Kyun-soo sees Yule on top of him rather than Dong-hyuk, so he hugs him close in order to block out the bad memories. Basically Yule is always going to be tormenting him, even if he is not physically there.

I could be wrong, but I think the google translation for the next episode said it would be a "what if" with Yule. I think this would have been the most believable option, even if it would be the most depressing. However, at this point in the plot the power dynamic has changed, Kyun-soo is no longer trapped physically, and it is Yule who is emotionally weakened and is the one who is dependent on their relationship to function. I would hope that it could show him being able to grow as a character, and have a formal apology to Kyun-soo, for his treatment in hospital to not be a punishment/remove him from their lives as was the case with the other two plots, but instead an opportunity for him to be rehabilitated. Reading back, there is so many scenes of them before the gang rape in the hotel, showing their relationship develop, being happy etc then you see more gradual signs of abuse like Yule controlling what Kyun-soo ordered to eat. So the tricky thing for them both, is that they did have love at one point, which was why the abuse was so horrid, as Kyun-soo thought Yule was someone he could trust, who he loved and cared for. I think in order for the plot to feel finished, we need to be able to understand the abusers perspective, do hopefully the final story will be with Yule, then we can move on.

*there is (not their is)

Sorryness, I just thought it would be interesting to discuss. (︶︿︶) I am mildly conflicted about Yule’s actions in that chapter where he stabbed himself. He said that “if he dies...I’ll never be able to touch him again.” I mean, there were numerous interpretations you could reach from that.

For me, it was either 1) it affirms Yule’s selfishness and possessiveness towards Kyungsoo, like it is always about his needs, his wants, his desires, hence the “I.” If Kyungsoo died, Yule would no longer have someone to possess, control, and pardon the bluntness, have a sex toy to rape every night and cuddle in bed. During the time they were dating, he had control over what Kyungsoo wore, ate, etc and even mentioned Kyungsoo as an object to him. Essentially, without Kyungsoo, like @clouds mentioned, he could not function normally (haha, well basic living functions).

2) Yule could not bear to lose Kyungsoo like he did with his mum and in addition to finally realising what a prick he was to Kyungsoo, he’d rather take his life then let Kyungsoo get killed. I mean, it could be the guilt and realization hitting him full on at that moment but... I mean, there are loads of ways to interpret that scene but just my two pennies’ worth. Honestly, I was hoping for a showdown Mortal Kombat style haha, two guys fighting over Kyungsoo, but nope— Kyungsoo ends up being a victim of a homicidal arsehole (Dong-Hyuk). The situation could have been handled in so many other ways, smh.

I mean, the crux of that chapter or scene, IMO, was to question the reader: Would you want someone to die for you or someone to cause your death? Both are obviously selfish actions, but yeah... sorryness for my rambling. (︶︿︶)

Nope, I was wrong about what characters are in the twitter pic. In the foreground it is from the scene where Dong-hyuk raped Kyun-soo. http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/hogu_hagyeongsu/mf/iur_chapter-63/pg-1/ Not really up for re-reading it all to find out the source of the second image.

Haha, I was about to post the link to the image but you beat me to it. XD I think in the background, it is Yule with his eyes closed (?). Ugh, I cannot interpret images well, maybe Yule is sleeping, is hurt? As for the foregound (with Kyungsoo blushing), I think that’s Dong-Hyuk, the hair is shorter and it looks like an image that came from that chapter that creeped me out when he raped Kyungsoo, wanting to be inside him forever (￣へ￣).

Darn-ness, one of these days, I gotta find out a term for people who steal other people’s lover. You are right on the mark — Kyungsoo had no prior relationship or connection to Geon, so the ending felt like fanservice or something. Yup, the ending was pretty much a transaction which was unnecessary really, IMO. I think Geon would’ve placed Yule in a mental hospital regardless of whether Kyungsoo entered into a deal with him or not— because he just wants revenge on Yule. So Geon’s actions are STILL about revenge on Yule. He brutally raped Kyungsoo for 5 days straight as revenge against Yule and now he’s still using Kyungsoo as revenge against Yule. I apologise if I am not familiar with Korean culture, but isn’t Yule like in his 20s or something? I mean he’s not underaged, so how could he be involuntary committed to a mental hospital if Geon was not like his guardian or something?

Ohh, I read the summary Mizu provided about Dong-Hyuk’s ending and now yours, thank you for that. I will just wait until that chapter is posted to see the images. I read that he uhh... sorryness to be blunt, “cummed” when he imagined he was having sex with Yule...I am confused. Guess I have to wait until the chapter’s release.

Sigh, I do not think Yule’s ending will be a happy one. The genuine love Kyungsoo had for Yule is gone. Yule is just clinging onto Kyungsoo; as to whether for control/possessing him or actually falling in love/developing feelings for him...up to the author to let us know. But you are right, the open ending showed a shift in the relationship dynamics between Yule and Kyungsoo.

I just pray Yule’s ending will not turn out to be something like Unfather’s ending. Scary and fucked up.

Curious, what do you think should be the ending for Kyungsoo? (=・ω・=)

Yeah, it is definitely Dong-Hyuk, chapter 63, pgs. 26-27. *Shudders*...what Dong-Hyuk said while raping him...Ughness. Maybe the background image is from Yule’s ending...What if Yule died while being hospitalised? (⊙…⊙ )

I wish I could accept the number 1 theory. But yule actually said few times that he loves kyungsoo and somewhere in my heart I still believe that. I just don't know why i believe him even after all he has done but I just do. It's my burden. T_T

Yeah, Yule said that he loved Kyungsoo a few times throughout the story and even mentioned, “I’m in love with you.” But like you said earlier, after everything that has happened, it is SO hard to trust Yule anymore and his words. I am waiting on Yule’s ending in which I hope the author ties up all loose ends.

IKR. I just need a little bit of closure so i can finally move on with my life. The open ended story bothers me so much. I wish the author would tie up the loose ends and give us a glimpse of the future maybe a extra where he shows what became of kyungsoo after maybe like 5 or 10 years. how is he, where is he. That will be a closure i can live with. :'(

Ditto~. If she is taking the time to draw out what if scenarios, that means she could give us closure to this story. Btw, did you see the image she posted? I wonder if it would make a good wallpaper, lolness.

Yes i saw that. It'd definitely make a good wallpaper. XD

Yeah~ Yule and Kyungsoo looked “peaceful” in the background? I guess it is Yule? (^w^)

That hair is definitely yule's. it's not hyuk.

In Yule's perspective he probably does think he "loves" Kyun-soo, it's more of an obsession, a dependency though than the type of care and affection you would want/expect though. I think Yule is just a "troubled" person, to say the least, and he doesn't seem to understand how he should be behaving, and why his behaviour is harmful. In the early scenes of their relationship he was more "normal" and nice, but then he started to get controlling. In the middle part of the plot, he needed his sister to tell hi that he should do more personal/caring things for the person he apparently loves, like when he went to buy Kyun-soo the pastries that he likes. There are occasions where Yule expresses his "love" in a more usual way, like listening to Kyun-soo complain about the dishes and he tries to wash up, or when they were sleeping he let Kyun-soo use his arm as a rest, but ultimately these are pretty mundane things, it's only because the context is so abusive that they stand out. Yule constantly mentions that he loves Kyun-soo, he is envious over Kyun-soo sleeping with Dong-hyuk, that he never thought they split up etc, but none of this is taking on board Kyun-soo's feelings, it's all very one sided. Kyun-soo stayed with Yule, because he was trying to protect Dong-hyuk. He also started to view himself as toxic, and that he turns people into these abusers, so doesn't want to "taint" DH. This is why I think Kyun-soo ending up with Yule would be the most likely option, but this has already been discussed. For simplistic closure, a "what if" ending with Yule really is needed. Towards the end Yule finally said that he raped Kyun-soo, so even if he did not believe it himself, he at least was now aware of how his behaviour was regarded by Kyun-soo. It would be positive to see his perspective, to see him receive treatment for his mental illness, and to hopefully be able to apologise to Kyun-soo. Reading back, their early relationship is shown throughout the webtoon in snippets, it was Kyun-soo's first relationship, and he did love Yule at one point, which is maybe why he feels he would still need to support him when he got released from hospital, or he feels that by staying with Yule it is protecting him from harming others, or that Kyun-soo himself feels he is not deservant of any other life rather than this miserable one with Choi Yule...

I read through the webtoon a few times, and there was still one thing I still did not get. Yule was quite aware that he was scum and he told Kyungsoo that a switch inside him was flipped, so he went and orchestrated that gang rape to cause Kyungsoo to leave him. So yes, Kyungsoo would definitely leave after being so horribly betrayed and traumatised like that. Yule even said goodbye to Kyungsoo when he was crying profusely in the motel/hotel room after being gangraped. At that moment, Yule had a chance to try and fix or do something for Kuungsoo, but he said goodbye. So yeah, Yule ended the relationship between them and even if he did not, duhness, what can Yule expect after the bullshit he just did? Anyone would leave after being gangraped. I already wrote out what I thought Yule had as a mental disorder pages ago on here, so I don’t want to bore people again...so it is like everything Yule does is to test Kyungsoo’s love and dependency on him and it is not even love, it is a need to possess and control Kyungsoo. Yule is self-destructive like with BPD, but then when he saw Kyungsoo actually leave him, he decided to go after Kyungsoo again. IMO, I honestly think it is a need to control and possess Kyungsoo as an object, to be at his beck and call and to have someone to repeatedly rape, not because he loves Kyungsoo.

Dong-Hyuk is similar in terms of being obsessive/possessive— he did not care about Kyungsoo. He turned out to view Kyungsoo as a sex object. After all, he admitted to having sex with guys that had light hair colour and a pale complexion. Which, when you think about it, is quite shallow for a bloke who claims to love you. I think I couldn’t tolerate Dong-Hyuk as a character, I admit that I had hopes in him, but he turned out worse than Yule. He developed this inferiority complex after seeing Yule raped Kyungsoo and instead of getting therapy for PTSD, he (surprise, surprise) became a rapist like Kyungsoo and even tried to kill him. ~___~; The more I analyse these characters, the more I think the open ending was the best— he ends up with no one. However, I guess we will have to wait and see with Yule’s ending. Just please, author, do not make Kyungsoo into a sex toy in Yule’s ending, he has suffered far more than enough. ( T﹏T )

Agree. I think he thought Kyung-soo would come running after him, rather than the reality of what happened, ie Kyung-soo dropping out of university, moving house and changing his contact details to try and get away from him. It really does seem like Yule has trouble understanding behaviour and empathising. He seems to dissociate when he thinks back to how he abused Kyung-soo, viewing himself as an outsider/witness to the scene rather than a perpetrator. It's like he treats human relationships a bit robotically... like when he viewed Kyung-soo as being broken, and that he broke him because of his crying, or that he needs to be told by his sister to do the most mundane, nice and considerate things, and then it's about getting a positive reaction as the result. Yule, as you say does seem to be self destructive, and sabotages his relationships, yet still wants to experience his form of "love" meaning dependency and ownership. I share your opinion of not really being able to warm to Dong-hyuk, his character served as the purpose of being a "rival" for the plot, but his development, from naive straight guy to rapist who was immediately insecure about Kyung-soo not being a virgin, and never seemed to but Kyung-soo's needs first, was not something to sympathis with. Hopefully, if the next "what if" chapter covers a scenario with Yule, we will get some closure. Ideally Kyug-soo would end up with neither of the three men, but that seems unlikely, so from a plots perspective, Yule as the person he ends up miserable with was most believable.

No just no how could you guys say hyuk turned more fucked up than yule. I just can't accept it. Hyuk slept with other guys probably because kyungsoo left him and that opened up a hole in him that he was trying to fill. Also did hyuk ever rape kyungsoo. I'm curious which scene are you talking about? was it the time when kyungsoo escaped from yule's house and went to hyuks house? I felt like that was fucked up but not really the magnitude what yule did (gangrape by friends) and his brother did (5 days of torture and pain). also the part where he tries to kill kyungsoo i think it was quite merciful even though i truly feel he should not have decided to kill kyungsoo just to give him escape from the fucked up life he had. everyone should decide what to do with their life so in that part hyuk fucked up. to end kyungsoos life it is a choice only kyungsoo can make.

Mizu mentioned that it would be nice to see an ending where Kyungsoo finishes his university degree since Yule made him dropped out. I would like to see that too. Haha, everyone knows by now that Yule is psychopathic and he definitely has empathy issues. I am not trying to defend him but just pointing out that he likely grew up in a household where he was being ostracised for his mother’s death so his sense of love and empathy are either absent or dysfunctional to say the least. Yes, dissociation is the word. He seems to dissociate himself from reality in order to avoid blame or to come to terms with his actions. It was not until he saw in front of him that Kyungsoo could die, then he did some...rather late poor self-reflection of his past/current actions towards Kyungsoo.

To be concise, Yule’s motivation for nearly all of his actions is to be able to possess and control Kyungsoo which is his interpretation of “love” based on dependency and ownership as you’ve stated. In a nutshell, Yule is selfish and self-serving.

I get that Dong-Hyuk was supposed to serve as a rival, but I felt like the way he turned out (shallow, reckless, and a homicidal rapist) made the readers (at least me) re-evaluated things and thought Yule was...slightly better. I don’t know if it was the author’s intention or not...or it is just my interpretation, but by bringing in Geon (brother) and Dong-Hyuk as rivals, their actions towards Kyungsoo (violent rapist, oh god, I do not want to be reminded of those chapters) and homicidal rapist...made Yule seemed “better.” But quite honestly, it was a matter of “who was the least painful or the least arsehole” to choose from. What do you think?

I felt like it was so unfair of how Dong-Hyuk viewed Kyungsoo and treated him so I did not care much about his character. Instead of empathising and helping Kyungsoo to heal after witnessing Yule raped Kyungsoo and knowing Kyungsoo was gangraped, everything Kyungsoo did was out of his concern and love for Dong-Hyuk... Dong-Hyuk is like, well, “you already slept with guys before me so that justifies me sleeping with random guys with no attachment, oh and to top if off, they have to have your physical characteristics/traits.” Also, Kyungsoo fainted or collapsed from the ongoing sex he had with Dong-Hyuk and his response? To continue and penetrate Kyungsoo while he is unconscious. I am sorry, but that was a total WTF to me. Dong-Hyuk is just insecure and doesn’t love Kyungsoo...he just views Kyungsoo as a “pretty sex object,” which is sad because Kyungsoo has love for him in order to protect and endure things for him. I am not sure if Kyungsoo still loves him since I have not seen Dong-Hyuk’s ending yet. But we will see... so author, please allow closure for the readers. (/TДT)/

This scene here is the one that is being referred to. Yule is trying to protect Dong-Hyuk, from Yule, and himself (as he sees) by distancing himself from him and getting ready to leave. Dong-hyuk, then due to his own selfish needs to "own" Kyung-soo then rapes him, never thinking about Kyung-soo, just like what happened with Yule. http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/hogu_hagyeongsu/mf/iur_chapter-63/pg-1/

*made a mistake with the names. The 2nd sentence should read "Kyung-soo is trying to protect..." not Yule! (▰˘◡˘▰)

I did not say Dong-Hyuk was more fucked up than Yule. All three of them have their own varying degrees of “fucked upness.” It is how *I* interpreted it, that his actions made Yule seemed “better.” But all three are messed up in the head. It is just their actions are being compared relative to each other. We all have preferences/favourites...so I would not push what I think on you, we are just discussing/analysing things. (⌒▽⌒)

Heheness, we discussed Yule a lot that he got to us. XD I have a friend whose name begins with “Yu” so the other day I accidentally called him Yule. Haha, an awkward silence ensued. Like literally...this expression (⊙…⊙ ).

Some good points. On a lesser note, it seemed like Kyung-soo dropped out of university/moved away (understandably) at age 21, but we don't know how long he was with Yule before this, just that he was his first relationship.

Ah don't worry <3. I'm not mad at you for expressing your opinion. I just had to say that to explain hyuks side of the story and yes it does seem he raped kyungsoo too (which is unbearable T_T). But i'd still feel much safer with hyuk that yule or his brother.

Actually wait can you guys tell me what happened in the stairs though (i feel like it's suppose to be one of the most important scenes in the manhwa). In one version when kyungsoo says hi yule just ignores and goes back. and in another version when kyungsoo says hi yule actually smiles and says hi back? If my memory is correct i think i saw these 2 versions of the stairs scene so which one is right or does it even signify something?

Yeah, Yule was his first...everything, really. It was the first time he was dating someone. Maybe they met during university days...like around 16-20 y/o? Sorryness, I do not know. The stairs scene was at a university, right?

Thank you~ I am relieved. Ugh, there are other readers/posters that accuse and lash out at you for voicing your opinions on this website. Smh. (￣へ￣）

That’s understandable. I would feel safe if Kyungsoo was on a private island, resting, enjoying the breeze with everything behind him, haha.

I felt that the author had an issue with the narrative aspect of this webtoon, like portraying pieces of a scene at different chapters was hard to digest or connect for me. So maybe @clouds could explain better for you than me?

But I will try: you are right, there were two scenes shown and I think they are two perspectives shown, Kyungsoo and Yule. The first is what we see in Kyungsoo’s POV: he worked up the courage to say hi to Yule, Yule ignores him and walks away, and we see Kyungsoo clutching his chest, well, shirt, to try and calm down because his HR was increasing. (Can I just add how totally adorable and innocent Kyungsoo was...like AWW, his innocent smile and how he blushed when he said hi to Yule?)

Anyways, the second scene from Yule’s POV: same thing as with Kyungsoo’s POV except maybe this time, when Kyungsoo wasn’t paying attention to Yule since he was trying to calm himself down or Yule looked back at Kyungsoo after walking away and then smiled and said hi. I don’t know...the author did not draw out a lot for us to go on...but honestly, I think the scene from Yule’s POV was to show that he “regretted” not saying hi to Kyungsoo back then and now realises what he wanted to do back then was smile and say hi back to Kyungsoo. I mean, Yule was self-reflecting, so he could have made up anything in his mind haha.

Call me immature, haha, but this scene looked like he was masturbating to Kyungsoo
(￣∇￣") Sorryness, haha. His other hand. http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/hogu_hagyeongsu/mf/iur_chapter-67/pg-39/

@clouds Help~I prolly interpreted wrong, haha

Yeah the stairs scene seems like when he first laid eyes on yule in university. P.S. I don't last out on good people. you seemed really nice and you get your point across without being rude or disrespectful. You have a good quality like kyungsoo too. :3

your interpretation makes sense. :3 Yule is so conflicting character *internal screaming*. I just don't even know how to feel about him anymore. Sometimes i feel like he may just have emotions.. but then i remember the past and feel like no never mind. T_T

I had a horrible experience this week when this person was accusing me of having an argumentative attitude and stalking their replies. Like seriously? I was reiterating, hence agreeing with them and I reply to other topics too. Smh. ┑(￣Д ￣)┍

So, thank you, you are really nice too. You’re a sweetie. <3ness.

If this webtoon has us internally screaming like when we thought Yule was going to die after stabbing himself amongst other moments in the story, then I think the author accomplished what she set out to do —we connected with her story. Not every reader does that. Well, just my opinion. (=・ω・=)

The stair imagery features throughout

- Geon's perspective on their mother's death
1) http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/hogu_hagyeongsu/mf/iur_chapter-22/pg-1/
2) http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/hogu_hagyeongsu/mf/iur_chapter-27/pg-1/
- Yule's perspective on their mother's death
http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/hogu_hagyeongsu/mf/iur_chapter-64/pg-1/

- Kyung-soo &Yule on the stairs and introducing themselves
1) http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/hogu_hagyeongsu/mf/iur_chapter-26/pg-1/
2) Kyung-soo's perspective http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/hogu_hagyeongsu/mf/iur_chapter-29/pg-1/
3) http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/hogu_hagyeongsu/mf/iur_chapter-58/pg-1/
4) http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/hogu_hagyeongsu/mf/iur_chapter-66/pg-1/
(the scene where Kyung-soo asks him out is later in the timeline at chapter 1)

- Yule pushing his brother down the stairs
first time http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/hogu_hagyeongsu/mf/c025/1/
second time http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/hogu_hagyeongsu/mf/c043/1/

- Kyung-soo & Geon
http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/hogu_hagyeongsu/mf/iur_chapter-34/pg-1/

Ah thanks for cataloging all the stair scenes <3. After seeing all the different scenes it really puts it into perspective what happened that cursed day.

I was not just internally screaming at that scene I was crying too. most of my internal screaming was done in the rape scenes. T_T

I cried at the part when Yule self-reflected about the staircase incident. Obviously not for Yule, but at how innocent and sweet Kyungsoo was at confessing and then Yule had to go and destroy everything...grr. Yeah, that stabbing scene was...rather influential, haha. I couldn’t stand the rape scenes...just no, I had to take an antiemetic for the rape scenes with Geon (just.....too damn brutal and hurtful). Did you find yourself go “what the hell?” during some scenes? I definitely did.

Ditto~ Thank you @clouds. Although, I admit I skipped parts with Geon. XD

Ah yes the most brutal parts for me is definately the first yule's gangrape by friends scene. It just started right off the bat in 1st FUCKING CHAPTER!!!! he was so gentle and caring before i was so shocked i couldn't even grasp what was even happening.. WHYYYY DID YOU DO THAT YULE!!!!. and geon's 5 days of rape chapters. It was so painful to read those chapters. I was like how long do i have to endure this. That rape and torture made me sick. I almost coudn't eat because of my anxiety (and gag reflex) during those chapters. :(

The haunting parts I found, was the second time Yule raped him and the detail of Kyung-soo having his hand gripped by Yule and reflecting back on their happier times, as the action mimicked them, asking himself if sex was ever so painful. Unlike with the other two men, and Yule's friends, there wasn't that level of attachment, so there wasn't this betrayal of trust and more conflicting emotions. Kyung-soo staring into Yule's face, thinking is this the person I once loved?

Omg, chapter 1 was heartbreaking... when Kyungsoo cried out/screamed out for Yule. It was like you could feel the pain, anguish, heartbreak in his plead for Yule. ( T﹏T ). We are taught to value and help lives, but grrr...I wanted to bloody murder all three of Yule’s friends and Geon (╬￣皿￣)凸. Ahem, I apologise for that unsightliness.

Yeah, those 5 days of rape and torture made me sick to my stomach too and I had nightmares for days. 1st time reading: sick to stomach, took meds, couldn’t eat. 2nd time reading: nightmares...like could not sleep. 3rd time reading: anger... I just wanted to bloody murder Geon and Yule gets points from me for kicking him down the stairs. At least after the third time, I learned to skip chapters 35 to 42. I hope you are feeling better now after reading/enduring those chapters. Now you can skip them if you choose to reread. (●'◡'●)

Honestly, Yule is a smug idiot. He had Kyungsoo’s love for him and well, you cannot turn back time.

You know i felt really sad when kyungsoo was having nightmares of past... his hand trembling due to anxiety. I get anxious too but not that horrible. I don't even have a beef bulgogi guy to remember when i get anxious *cries internally*. Well i am better now but this manga will haunt me forever. I'm not ready to re read this right now. maybe a month later i will.

Hmm...now that you mentioned this, maybe Yule holding/touching Kyungsoo’s has some significance to him?

Like here when Yule placed his hand on Kyungsoo’s whilst he was being raped: http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/hogu_hagyeongsu/mf/c005/5/

And the second time Yule raped him like you mentioned: http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/hogu_hagyeongsu/mf/c011/28/

Then Yule gets tremors: http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/hogu_hagyeongsu/mf/iur_chapter-67/pg-16/

So, IIRC Geon asked Kyungsoo if he was able to endure 3 guys raping him simultaneously because Yule was there and I think that maybe partially, he was able to because Yule held down his hand. Because Yule touched Kyungsoo’s hand, it made the betrayal of trust between the two even much more heartbreaking and excruciating to Kyungsoo. Because...IMO, the person you loved and trusted is physically there, but they stood by and let you get broken, hurt, etc. They held your hand as if to mock you of their presence and betrayal. So Kyungsoo had hand tremors because of...well, PTSD and because it reminds him of the times when Yule placed his hand on his... but it was a reminder of betrayal. And as for Yule, haha, I think of it as karmic influence, that the hand he used to hold Kyungsoo’s hand is now trembling because he gets to experience anxiety or a little bit of what he put Kyungsoo through.

Yeah, that look on Kyungsoo’s face when he looked at Yule with that realization was...haunting. (⊙…⊙ ) IMO, the author does an awesome job of portraying Kyungsoo’s emotions.

To be honest, I don’t see why Kyungsoo was attracted to Yule. Kyungsoo looks innocent and like a good person whilst Yule looked...like trouble, someone you should stay away from, and a polar opposite to Kyungsoo. Yule mentioned it was because of his face. Well...he has an attractive, good looking face, but really, Kyungsoo did not give me the impression of being shallow and dating someone based on looks.

I felt really sad too...but in the original open ending, we saw that Kyungsoo no longer had the tremors and the nightmares.. (●'◡'●) I am sorry about your anxiety. It really sux.... I wish there was something in this world, like a magical healing wand that could cure anxiety, depression, neurological disorders, etc. (︶︿︶)

When you become anxious, maybe you can try carrying something with you and then mentally transferring those anxious thoughts to that object. I don’t know what your anxiety is like, so I do not want to overstep with what I say, but if I can help you in any way, let me know anytime (^w^).

Yeah~ my view on life changed a second time after reading this webtoon lolness... for a future reread, you can skip those Geon chapters to avoid feeling bad?

You remember what kyungsoo said when he first met yule (ON THE STAIRCASE!! AHH HH THE PAIN). He said such sad eyes. I think that was love at first sight for kyungsoo. But little did he know that he will have much sadder eyes once yule breaks him. Yeah and as you mentioned yule's hand trembling was a weird thing. Maybe the author tried to portray yule in more humane light.

Haha i also wish there was a magical healing wand that could cure anxiety, depression. Well my anxiety is not that bad (Thanks for caring sister <3 <3). It's pretty manageable. Mostly it's just social anxiety and when i read mangas like these. When i become anxious i just go on the roof and take some deep breaths it calms me. So everything is quite okay for me. Also i want to skip those chapters but i probably won't. I'm always like this (WHYYYYYY) i want to experience the full thing again. Not experiencing geon's chapters will make it less impacting for me. If i re read i will go through the full pain agian. maybe i'll just read geons part a little faster this time so i don't dwell on it too long. XD

I think Yule’s hand trembling was a way of showing us that subconsciously, he was “aware” of what he did to Kyungsoo. After all, it was Yule’s hand that held Kyungsoo’s during the gangrape and during when he raped Kyungsoo. It is like a “connection” between them. It is hard to explain, but when we experience something that leaves an imprint on us, even if we tried to suppress it, it manifests without us actually realising it. Like in Royal Servant when Ryan pats Christoph’s head, he interpreted as a sign of affection and something he treasured, compared to if someone just touched him on the shoulder, etc. Remember, he did not want to be touched. So, subconsciously, Yule does feel “something” about what he did to Kyungsoo, it just did not reach his conscious level yet, hence why his hand that touched Kyungsoo’s was trembling. I don’t know— just my interpretation. (⌒▽⌒)

And yeah, Kyungsoo had so much pure affection for Yule— he saw past Yule’s attractive appearance to see that Yule had sad eyes, and during the time they slept together, he even pat Yule’s head to calm him down. Well, Yule’s a self-destructive idiot...he had Kyungsoo’s love.

i should read this earlier

Meant to upvote. You’re so right