Icicle

Other than yaoi being yaoi and often marching right into homophobia despite good intentions, this story turned out to be far better than I expected. The only problematic belief it never really challenges is the belief those guys' spout that can basically be summed up “you’re not really gay unless you’re sexually attracted to every man.”

For most of the story, I read with a sense of dread, constantly bracing myself for whatever harmful or unsettling bullshit they might seemingly endorse next. That tension is precisely what makes the ending so effective. Once every relationship, every conflict is resolved, the sense of catharsis and relief is immense. You realise that the narrative was deliberately constructing all of those suspicious, uncomfortable elements only to dismantle and subvert them, ultimately leaving the reader with the right lessons.

The work, as you will ultimately appreciate, has consistently treated confused adolescents exploring their sexuality and boundaries as exactly that, it acknowledges mental health struggles with honesty and empathy without glamorisation or dismissal, and frames the consequences of inadequately supported neurodivergence with honesty and care. It neither invalidates anyone's reality nor does it excuse harmful behaviour or trivialises the struggles involved therein.

For me, the most gratifying part, especially after nearly giving up on it as yet another garbage romance, was how thoroughly it rejects the idea that bullshit philosophy that romantic love is inherently deeper, stronger, or more important than familial or platonic love. In fact, the story goes one step further and subtly argues the exact opposite. We realise that trying to force life into romance-driven expectations is what damaged these characters in the first place. Healing only becomes possible once they abandon that toxic philosophy and return to recognising and valuing their platonic and familial relationships. That reversal of expectations is so beautiful.

This is the kind of story where, on a first read, the unreliable narration will put you through a full enemies-to-lovers arc with the story. Only on a second read, armed with a clearer understanding of where things are headed, can you fully appreciate it. The soft, pretty art style and shoujo-ish pacing, combined with a heavy emphasis on smut, make its themes easy to overlook. Yet at its core lies a remarkably honest depiction of difficult process of growing up and maturing; the unease upon realising the world is more complex and more unpredictable than you were prepared for, making serious lapses of judgement out of immaturity and the slow, painful process of self-reflection and growth that follows.

Equally as sophisticated is its portrayal of mental health issues: the quiet, insidious way they take hold; the distress and desperation of the victims, the grief and helplessness you feel watching a loved one go through that, and the role of friends and family, a devoted, steadfast, and loving support system, in helping people survive and recover from such a dark affliction.

On your first read, you will curse this story until you’re about three quarters of the way through for being just another toxic romance, only to suddenly realise you’ve been pranked and that this is probably one of the most beautiful, most relevant friendship and family-focused stories you’ve seen in this genre in a while.

Platonic and family bonds are the star of this story. Despite technically being a romance, the driving relationships are about the family you have and the family you acquire. Haesu–Haemu’s flawless siblinghood, and Haemu–Seongchul’s and Doyoung–Hayes’ soulmate friendships, make me so emotional and happy. I'm absolutely in love with these relationships and they're completely responsible for dragging me along on the journey from "I'm gonna drop this story into the bin any time now" to "this is an excellent piece of literature that deserves a place of honour among my favourite shoujos of all time".

God, this will bore you out of your mind. Easily would be among the top contenders for the most gratuitous plot armour and the most shameless Mary Sue protag ever. And that's a tough accolade to achieve when you're competing against the glut of OP MC/regressor/Isekai which are themselves champions of the mindless wish-fulfillment for chuunibyou day dreamers category. Chuunibyou fantasies in shoujo are making their counterparts in shounen look like sober, serious, well written stories. I was prepared for mindless slop because that's what I've come to expect of modern shoujo (BL is a subcategory of shoujo) in general, and especially regressor type shoujos, but still I was impressed with how much worse it actually was.

The only saving grace of this story is that "I enjoy getting molested by a pedo catfish who used to be my father's classmate" idiot's dad and the first demon lord. Yang Sr. and that demon lord deserved a better story to feature in. They have far too much potential as antagonists to be wasted on that pet-fucking, trophy wife Mary Sue and his cult of "you looked at me and I was blessed" worshippers. Big demon lord should start calling the MC "Your Majesty" for he's been the emperor of the Mary Sues since the moment the author came up with his character. Honestly, everyone except those in the "good guys" troupe is a compelling character, since they actually seem to have a life and things to do unlike the protagonists who are just caricatures serving as the narrative's nepo babies. Delete the protagonist cast and that would immediately make the story magnitudes better. In order to tolerate this to the end, it would require an extreme level of obedience to the author's narrative on my part that is beyond my capacity for suspension of belief, therefore, I am going to have to drop it.