and damnit yuri you're one of the best written mcs ive read this 2026. you made me cry a lot in chapter 34-35 of the novel. this story is so fvcking beautiful damnit damnit damnit
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yuri had done unforgivable things as part of the russian mafia just to survive. even after bringing it down with alyosha, he never really believed redemption meant he deserved happiness. in his mind, the joys of life belonged to people who hadn't stained their hands the way he did.
but then cherry came along and made him want things he never even imagined for himself.
through their intimacy in chaps 34-35, yuri realized that he didn't just desire cherry physically. he wanted his warmth. his affection. his presence.
he wanted to be loved.
by him.
and that realization terrified him more than any of his sins because wanting cherry meant admitting that some part of him still believed he deserved to live, love, and be happy. except yuri had spent years convincing himself that he didn't.
and then there's cherry, who has lived in a completely different world from yuri and only ever allowed himself partnerships instead of romantic relationships because of his trust issues.
so while yuri is internally losing his mind over this sudden development between them, cherry is basically like "oh yeah, we'd definitely make good partners".
HE DIDN'T EVEN MEAN LOVERS.
yuri is out here questioning whether he's allowed to want happiness ever again while cherry is just thinking, "yeah, i want yuri as my partner".
the tragedy is that they're standing in the exact same moment, feeling two completely different things.










BUTTTTTTTT THE AFTERMATH DAMMIT T____T