beta
can you really say they made up? im not so sure, i’m trying to figure out the direction of their relationship because heejae will cut again, and garam will stitch that wound up, again. it is a relationship built on sacrifice masked as understanding. just because you can tolerate it doesn’t mean its normal for you, and garam is bound to break, this time because of love not hate. what kang seomi said was pivotal, it was exactly what heejae needs because how long can music be the bridge to their emotions? you can see the shifts in their attitude after their most recent fight. heejae clearly reacts to garam calling out his ego and “nature” while garam acknowledges that its his own “nature” to continuously heal that wound. this relationship is not something we can see in real life - their codependent and toxic love is a metaphor for two opposite souls completing each other against all odds, which means heejae’s and garam’s personality wouldn’t be realistic. it’s so bittersweet to read but i would love to see heejae break through his nature and change (and for garam to pick himself up more ily garam)
i really want to get into garams mind. what is holding u back from blowing up on heejae? he grits his teeth but only the breath of lotus flowers comes out. is he still trying to convince himself that knowing heejae’s music means knowing his love? is he trying to break the cycle of becoming the “abuser,” becoming the angry one like all those who bear the scar? even compton knows that what needs to be said has to be said. even compton knows how to apologize. garam, what does heejae look like to you? finally, that wound that has been stitched up with literal hopes and prayers is snapping and i am so excited and scared to see garam snap as well. out of all the conflicts that they’ve had, this one will probably hurt the most but it will dictate whether heejae will in fact go against his nature or choose to love the way he wants to love. i wonder tho, if heejae chooses garam over his nature, is that a metaphor of him stepping down from his pedestal of a musical god? how will his approach to his practice change? im so fucking curious omg.