Since my memory is fuzzy (which is crazy because I binge-read this not even two weeks ago), I need someone to tell me when Heejae started seeing Garam in different light as in more intimate, someone more than a frustrating student, more than a gem he wanted to polish and showed off. I remember him kissing Garam after Garam said, “I understand the loneliness in your sound,” but were there any subtle moments before that? Or was that really all it took, Garam’s words hit a nerve, because that was what he wanted so badly to find again, someone who could read his soul so after that Heejae just started seeing him differently? Because in Garam’s case, the guy saved him, and there was even a phase where he was stressed out over hating him, and other things mixed around it’s understandable how and why he fell for a guy who was also his teacher.
I think the beginning of that, like the very seed of it was chapter 79, when heejae found out that garam couldn't hate him. Garam basically said that he was doing everything he could to hate heejae because he didnt want to repeat the mistakes he made with youngjo (implying that he had not-so-platonic interest in heejae), and he asked heejae to help him nurture that hate, because garam couldn't do it by himself, and it floored heejae. That continued to chapter 81 when heejae came back from his successful performance (that garam refused to watch) to an empty room, feeling lonely and soothing himself with the recording of garam's jeux d'eau. And then garam saw heejae's chopin and fell in love for real, which led to heejae reciprocating that feeling (though he denied it at first).
I dont get why heejae is obsessed with garam's jeux d'eau i cant remember anything aside before chapter 3 is this a sign for a binge rearead session
You are correct about him falling for Garam with that kiss in chapter 83. Actually this was elaborated a bit further in BDK’s Q&A on whether Heejae fell in love him at the exact the moment Garam recognised the solitude in his music or he already haboured that feeling from the beginning, while BDK encouraged readers to have their own interpretation (she also had her own version), the gist of it is it was triggered by both Garam’s revelation & the alcohol influence. Now to your question when & why Heejea is obsessed with Jeaux Deau, my interpretation is that his infatuation & affection for Garam’s music & him as a person is a slow brewing process. It starts off when he first listened to Jeax deau with the teacher - My guess is that finally after more than 10 years, this is the closest thing he got to hear a sound resonates deeply with him, especially after the lost sound from the dead manager incident & his semi failure with all the past students saga. The second is when he told Naeun to back off & give up the stage for Garam. This defies his philosophy of teaching where he claimed he would never put his personal feelings/business above the sacred music. The third one, you already knew, drunken fiasco. The forth one, which imo is the final nail in the coffin is in chap 88 when he asked for separation living situation with Garam. You have to remember that Heejae put music & its integrity above anything else, he would never, ever let mentor-mentee relationship get sexual when it’s piano involved. That’s why his arc with Yerim stays strictly professional (BDK also mentioned that in her Q&A that in a what-if scenario, if Heejae develops feelings for his female students during teaching, he would drop them instantly lol). So this is crucial to me that the fact he was willing to abandon his very own moral conviction, destroy his life long beliefs to kiss & yield to Garam’s request in order to keep him around MEANS he really really loves Garam, long before he’s being true to himself. Like that boy is truly his one & only love. Obviously we’re in season 6 and I’m dying at every updates to witness because it’s Heejae we’re talking about. It’s gonna be a bumpy ride to that conclusion with him lmaoo.
Thank you for your insight! anyway I'm curious, do you think they will reunite when garam in depression state and no longer playing music or they will reunite once garam make a comeback in music scene? I think first option would be perfect for loving you as a human storyline but second one suits the build up in season 5 about Garam's independence like where musician npc characters say he was so lucky to be under heejae's wings, and journalist asked whether he had a plan to be independent, etc.
Things are bleak right now, but I’m 100% sure they’ll get back together in the end, not because I have any faith in Heejae becoming a better person, but because the author has teased a public relationship multiple times throughout the story, with other characters bringing it up to Heejae. That’s why I’m pretty confident they’ll eventually come out. I’m excited to see everyone’s reactions hahaha but i think the actual reconciliation will only happen in the last few episodes of the story, with their life after getting back together being shown in the side chapters.
Heejae is garam's first in so many ways, the first person who believed in his passion and supported him in music (despite his terrible ways), most likely the first person he genuinely fell in love with, the first person he slept with, his first serious partner, and the first person to truly break his heart and soul. He shaped and influenced Garam so much, both as a musician and as a person, throughout all those years they spent together.
Moving to USA was be good for him as musician but clearly not as a young person, being pulled away at a crucial time of him finding his own identity and capability of loving himself.
Garam needs to learn about himself and heejae needs to be put down
Based on his monologue in chapter 210 (If you werent here, I might survive, but I wouldnt be happy) I bet these past 4 years pushing 50 Heejae was living his usual comfortable, privileged maestro life, but much sadder, ruder, and eviler.
I have this feeling that Garam will stop doing music because i see destroying that piano as a statement that he’s leaving Heejae, music, and their connection behind. Plus, all of Heejae’s students stopped playing the piano at some point, so maybe it’s Garam’s turn.
I hope I’m wrong because I really want to see Garam pursue music independently, I hope he discovers and evolves his music like Valter did during his healing time plus maybe they should switch things up and make Heejae the one who stops now.
I wonder if Garam is going to cut everyone off, not just Heejae. Heejae is going back to his default mode and becoming insufferable to his workers. I can imagine Valter blaming Heejae for Garam’s disappearance, and maybe he’ll finally confront him. If that happens, I hope he destroys Heejae’s ankles.
I love how in Heejae’s vision the background went pitch black the moment he saw the gloves in Maria's hand, how the gloves he was wearing looked shaky and glitchy when he read the note, and how his entire body became pitch black as he stood still there silently even though he was no longer reading the note in the second last panel. He was so shocked he didn’t even look at his destroyed piano too stunned to even imagine his ex-manager standing in the corner of the room.
I wonder if Garam’s sound will change, just like how Valter’s current sound is different from his pre hiatus one.
I'm so invested aaarrgghh he always says he doesn't give a single fuck about his ex students' hatred toward him i wonder what he's going to say about this one, now that he's just created his biggest hater.
I hope Garam didn’t hurt himself when he destroyed that piano, hope he finds good place to sleep, hope he eats well i hope Eva dragged the hell out of that filthy geriatric hoe. He is lucky garam broke that piano and not his old bones
So glad I binge-read this now, so I didn't get lobotomized by Heejae’s caring-lover display for 30 something chapters out of 209 chapter, during Compton arc and became his lawyer defending him around because he is simply not a good person and desperately needs some real, hard lessons.
He was physically and verbally abusive at times in the first 100+ chapters, abused his students for personal motives, and pretty much projected trauma and dead lover onto his new one until around chapter 160, that's more than half of the whole manhwa. Nothing can excuse his sorry existence because even his trauma from being left behind was ultimately a consequence of his own actions. He wasn’t even raised in some harsh environment that shaped him into a human blade to protect himself, he was born into a classical musicians’ family, supported and provided for in his music career from a very young age, a family rich enough to leave their kids houses in foreign countries as part of their inheritance. That's a golden-spoon nepo baby through and through. He is too old to be acting this way, irl a 45 years old like him wouldn't get this much of graces, sympathy and reasonings, you know you would hate an emotionally constipated privileged man.
Heejae letting a boyfriend 22 years younger than him be the provider and nurturer, to be the level headed adult in their relationship is pathetic. Their relationship is so one-sided, with Heejae taking and demanding everything from Garam without even being able to give the simplest thing in return, while Garam is expected to accept all of his shortcomings, he has taken Garam for granted for a very long time. There’s a whole power imbalance there too, but that’s for another day. His chasing, learning, yearning arc better last a long and satisfying after watching his being pathetic human for 200 chapters.
That being said I do love author art style and this is actually a well written story, a fresh air in the middle of slops.
But the manager was not his lover tho??? Wdym
Theres no confirmation, but no one wouldn't exactly think of the ghost of their ex best friend in the middle of getting laid so
No one would
The manager wasn't even his best friend LMAOOO. I could recommend you to think of the "ghost" of the manager as the representation of his guilt towards garam. Bcs I don't think he was even attracted to the manager like at all (⊙…⊙ )
I see this take on other platforms too, and at what point do we have to stop pretending that they weren't lovers, or at least while not in physical relationship they're in this deeply emotionally not so platonically involved, to the point where Heejae spent 10 years on a mission to cope with his death lmfaooo.
Yes, I am aware that the manager "ghost" is pretty much a representation of his guilt, regret (not entirely towards garam) and eventually fear. It's not rocket science, but please, this man threw away his maestro career to find a "raw gem" in South Korea after the manager's death, then tortured young students because they couldn't give him the dopamine he got when he discovered the raw gem that was the manager.
The manager "ghost" was there after he fucked Garam for the first time, and his monologue was something along the lines of, "Beneath my passion, my true mission is to not lose you again." Then there's the whole Horowitz thing between the manager and Heejae, chapter 137, and so much more.
At some point, we should accept the possibility that, to some degree, Garam was serving as a replacement for the manager. Heejae lost someone who could understand his soul like no one else, spent 10 years on a mission after losing him, and then found someone who lit that spark in his life again in Garam. The manager "ghost" has always been there at every step of their relationship, and I think that moment in the Compton arc, when he saw his presents in Garam's room and was flooded with memories of Garam, was a catalyst for Heejae. After 160-something chapters, we've seen him start thinking about Garam instead of being consumed by memories of his past with the manager.
I do believe he loves Garam for who he is in his own way now, but yes, Garam did serve as a replacement. Id be super shocked If the were purely platonic because then why was that damn ghost was there when heejae destroyed his student ass lmfaoooo
I'm confident that if Garam finds out about the manager and get a glimpse into their past from someone, let's say Eva or Glasses Guy, and mentions his name to Heejae, he will physically lash out, just like he used to when he felt threatened. That's how little I trust Heejae.
I meant to say at what point do we have to keep pretending they should just give us edit option
Thanks to a comment before me now im kinda ?? So someone please enlighten me about the timeline. From what i understand, the timeline from chapters 1 to 5 spans March 2019 to December 2022.
(Keep in mind that garam was born in 2000 and heejae February 13th 1978)
So it roughly went like this:
Spring 2019 (March): Gaeum's welcome ceremony and their first meeting. He was 18 (unless he was born in March 2nd if so he was 19).
Autumn - Winter 20????: Garam's dilemmas and their courting phase.
2020 to late spring/early summer 2022 : Garam's debut, their first time. He was 20 (or 19?? depending on his birthday) and then 2 years timeskip.
Winter 2022 (December): They broke up He was 22 (or 21 depending on birthday).
Current timeline: November 2026. He is now 26 (or 25, depending on birthday). Wow, the author is really wrapping up this story in the present day).
How long did Garam attend uni again? Was it a full year or just one semester before he left for the US?
Because it just hit me that their whole courting phase, push and pull, first kiss, etc most likely happened in 2019, meaning Garam was only 19 wow like 20 and 19 aren't that much different but I'm still shocked