blatantescapist's Favorite

For the people dissing Shige let me tell you that guy has sacrificed so much for Shin. It’s true no one told him to,not even Shin, but he still did to protect Shin. We need to understand Shige’s character. Shige is a guy who was always expected to play the character that matched his looks even before he became an actor. Everyone expected him to be a prince which he is not. Shin saw through that but still accepted him. Shige,who admired Shin’s acting, also fell in love with how Shin is in real life as well as while acting. Shige was the one who fell in love first. He had to work to make Shin fall in love with him. Shin wasn’t romantically interested in Shige to begin with. It is often said the one who falls in love first loses because they are often said to love the other person more. That can be seen true in Shige’s and Shin’s case. Shige till now is obviously the one more attached and in love and he himself knows that too. Shige knows how innocent and oblivious Shin is. He knows how easily people can take advantage of him. He also knows just how talented Shin is in acting. He wanted Shin to reach his full potential without any worry that’s why he became an actor himself to protect Shin. Becoming an actor was not what Shige wanted for himself. We see that multiple times. He often questions himself why he’s there in the first place. Shige loved manga and maybe wanted to do something in that field but he didn’t because he wanted to protect Shin. He threw the profession of his choice away for Shin. Shige wanted to further develop his relationship with Shin physically but when he saw Shin being afraid and not liking it he gave up on the idea instantly. Shin was content with not having a sexual relationship and Shige saw that so he told himself to be okay with that as well for Shin’s sake. He threw his desire for a deeper physical relationship for many years to protect Shin. Shige doesn’t enjoy acting and isn’t that good at it either. He gained popularity quickly because of his princely face which he himself dislikes. Due to his quick popularity many troubles followed him which Shin is unaware of. His agency also criticised him very harshly when one of his dramas didn’t do too well. Shige while doing a career he’s not happy in, while facing the troubles that come with his quick popularity, while tolerating the criticism of his agency, while trying to maintain a facade of everything’s fine in front of his oblivious lover as not to worry him, while constantly only worrying about his talented lover instead of himself, while thinking that he has to one day separate from his lover for his sake, while constantly being insecure about his relationship because he knows anyone can fall in love with his innocent and naive lover, now has to face some mole ass punk telling him to breakup with his lover and basically threatening him about the media. You tell me can a person really go through all this and not even lose their cool once? It’s a miracle in itself Shige hasn’t gone crazy because of all this. I know Shige shouldn’t be rough with Shin but it’s not like he’s hitting him or anything. Sure he’s being rough but he isn’t being that rough that it effects Shin physically and mentally also Shin himself is accepting it and is okay with it. Shige is going through a lot at once. He faces problems at every corner when all he wants to do is be with Shin. Shin’s obliviousness is to be blamed for some things as well. Tatara that mole ass punk has no right to say those things to Shige when he doesn’t even know about their relationship and to what extend Shige has gone to, to be with Shin. If he wants to warn them to be careful there are much better ways to do it. All he wants is for Shige to lose and give under the pressure so he can have Shin for himself. He doesn’t care about their well being at all. He only cares about himself.

I've posted before about this without spoiling, and it physically HURTs me that people are giving out wrong spoilers based off some google translate thing they didn't even bother to cross reference. A lot of spoilers are out of context of the whole story and omits SO MUCH so i'm going to explain it as best as I can, referring to my previous post. These spoilers are coming from the novel version btw, and whether or not JAXX choses to adapt them will be another issue altogether. But anyway, here goes.

There are several major factors and characters I shall address.

1. Ryan (Blonde dude from earlier in the series)
He has a much bigger role in the books than in the webtoon thus far, but idk how big his role might be ahead because he has a major role to play in the latter half of the series. As far as I know, he is NOT a love rival or anything of that sort. There has never been and isn't going to be anything romantic between him and McQueen at all. He harbours certain hatred McQueen for reasons, blames him for a lot of his ongoing issues and he has a lot . He has a son, with a prostitute and he also seems to have drug issues and is generally pretty messed up. In the novels, he and Ed live together, and McQueen and Ed have meals with Ryan and his son Cecil, even helping to take care of his son because Ryan isn't really the best parent.

He is actually the main reason why Ed and McQueen break up. But more on that in a bit.

2. Ed and McQueen
In the books McQueen is seen doing a lot more porn that in the webtoon to begin with; here he seems like he does more of the background work like directing etc. But in any case, novel McQueen and Ed BOTH continue to film porn with other partners, although Ed only ever bottoms for McQueen after. In the novels, there's no confession at the train station. They get together, but there's no actual verbalisation of the "I love you"s till much later. So although they're making porn with other people, they're also not exclusively together in the books at this point. I believe McQueen initially hoped to kind of do couples porn with Ed, but at some point after they do both stop doing porn anyway. But in any case, obviously the webtoon should differ from that.

Third parties are never a major major issue in the books for our main pair. They do love each other, although it takes a much longer time for McQueen to verbalise it there. Yes there is a 'love triangle' of sorts with Chang, but the feelings of the main pair never wavers for each other, although circumstances in the later parts do drive a wedge between them. The McEd pairing is actually quite fluffy in the books as well.

A major plot point in the novels. revolves around McQueen's writing of the movie's script. A journalist basically finds out that McQueen is the director of that movie, and it makes the news. Its huge news, and it goes on broadcast that a pornstar directed a religious movie. The website is being overloaded by views – and the site Ed's audition film with McQueen (for a DVD) is on there. The next day he goes to work, its obvious that all his coworkers know about his doing porn. Ed is asked to resign from his job as a security officer due to security reasons.

Upset, Ed then tries to contact McQueen, but he is unable to call through to him. This is because McQueen was being hounded by journalists at the time and he explains it to Ed. They then talk about plans for the future, like going on a cruise and stuff. Ed gets a little drunk, and confesses he watched a porno with McQueen and Ryan. More context on this is that Ryan and McQueen did something like a 'non-consensual' kink play? It's not actually non-consensual and its not rape for sure, but Ryan apparently has a history of sexual assault prior and told Ed before that McQueen exploits vulnerable men for money i.e. something like he basically did the shoot because he was in a vulnerable position (drug issues money issues etc.). Ed watched the porno, and then tell McQueen he agrees with Ryan that what happened was rape. McQueen is livid to think that Ed could think something like that of him, and says something along the lines of "I can't believe I was falling in love with you". They break up and don't contact each other for weeks after that.

Ed gets a job at the airport, but its not very stable. Prior to this, Ed had already stopped doing porn was also working for Chang doing some security, but he stopped that too after the porn reveal and hasn't contacted Chang since.

Lancer contacts Ed who is now in high demand because of the porn reveal, and asks him to do escort/prostitution work with him (He gave him an Escort card way earlier in the novels I think as an invitation already). Ed wonders if McQueen will find out, and then decides that he "doesn't care" and so on New Years Day, Lancer tells him that he's got this client and that Lancer raised the price on him (because of his high demand); Ed doesn't know who he is, but he turns up anyway. The client is Chang.


3. Chang
Chang hasn't met Ed since the porn reveal, New Years Day is the first time they're meeting after the reveal. Chang doesn't believe at first that Ed actually came, and Ed tries to walk away after realising its Chang. But Chang physically grabs him and tells him he paid for him, showing him the escort card he took from Ed's apartment (given by Lancer earlier). Chang offers to make Ed's debt disappear – if he stays beside him for a year. Ed considers and then refuses thinking this guy is the one who even ruined his life by saddling him with this debt in the first place. They argue, Chang makes jibes about Ed doing sex work and Ed, fed up, asks him if he wants to be fucked. Ed pulls down Chang's zipper to prove a point.

Then Chang pushes Ed onto the bed and starts getting physical with him. At several points, Ed says it hurts, and that he wants it to stop. Chang mocks him, bites him, and continues anyway. Ed tries to punch him to get away from him, saying he's changed his mind and telling him to stop. He grabs his clothes and tries to escape several times but fails. Chang r*pes Ed. In this interim, Ed realises that Chang has had feelings for him all along, and that he's just been trying to ignore it the whole time; after the deed is done, he asks Chang if he likes him – and Chang doesn't confirm or deny it. Ed tells him it doesn't matter because Chang is dead to him anyway, and tells Chang he wants to ruin him, like Chang ruined Ed.

He walks out (Chang is still there), to run into McQueen – Ed wondered previously if McQueen was going to find out about him doing escort/prostitution work so he clearly did – McQueen tells Ed he didn't want to break up with Ed in the first place, tells him that he loves him, and that he wants to get back together. Ed wants to say yes, but he just had sex with (was raped by) Chang, so he doesn't respond, just leaves both men without saying anything. McQueen and Chang fight, and Ed sees McQueen again the next day; McQueen tells him he doesn't care about the whole Chang thing, and they get back together.

McQueen tells him he's quitting porn for him and selling the company, and tells Ed to check his bank account – $500,000, which is the amount he owes Chang. Chang actually confesses his feelings to Ed after this, and Ed tells him he doesn't care and to check his bank account, that's his answer. Essentially he pays off his debt, and from there he's saying that they no longer will have any ties to each other.

/
/
/

So essentially I wanted to clarify a few things.

Ed didn't lose his bodyguard job because of McQueen but the journalist actually, and McQueen didn't abandon him because of the reveal at all. He had a huge debt to Chang – but McQueen didn't pay it off probably because $500,000 is kind of not pocket change?? He sold his company and paid off Ed's debts. McQueen is not the cause of Ed doing escorting; that's Ed's choice. Their break up was NOT caused by Ed not wanting to do an adult movie with McQueen.

McQueen and Ed's relationship is complex, and ultimately human. They make mistakes and there's miscommunication and there's arguments of course, but there's also reasons why certain things unfold the way they do. The novels are way longer than the webtoons, and lots of things have been and will be taken out. So bear in mind that too.

I hope this helped in some way and if anyone else is going to bullshit about the 'spoiler' without knowing what they're talking about again i'm going to hit the roof.

Alright, I want to talk about something that has been on my mind for awhile. It’s about Doyun’s aggression towards Taehan.

As we know, it all started when Taehan addressed Doyun as an alpha. That one misunderstanding turned their initial friendly relationship upside down. But what confused many was how all the other alphas also called Doyun an alpha. It irritated him, but he didn’t blow up like he does with Taehan. The difference is obvious- he got angry at Taehan because he likes him. But I think it’s a bit deeper than that.

When Taehan called Doyun an alpha, it seems harmless, and our poor cinnamon roll Taehan didn’t know any better, but to Doyun, that was a form of rejection. The alpha he likes sees him as an alpha and isn’t interested in him as an omega. I think what furthered his aggression towards Taehan was the fact Doyun literally couldn’t prove he was an omega. He didn’t have any pheromones, no heat, and he has the body and strength of an alpha. He couldn’t do anything about it. And going outright and saying he was an omega, without having a way to prove it, would make him sound insane. Doyun’s heat only started because he was jealous of Taehan trying to flirt with another omega. He was acknowledging another omega, but he wasn’t acknowledging him. Deep down, he wanted Taehan to see him as an omega, as HIS omega, and that’s what made his heat start. But, as we know, Doyun doesn’t KNOW he likes Taehan.

From what I’ve seen in other omegaverses, omegas don’t become truly sexually active, or interested, until they have their heat. Doyun was interested in Taehan, but in a way he didn’t understand. Now that he’s had his heat, all these emotions and desires are suddenly rising to the surface and he doesn’t know what they are nor how to deal with them. I do agree, he’s definitely stubborn, but I don’t think it’s just his stubbornness that is making him deny his feelings. I think he genuinely doesn’t understand what they are.

A little bonus as for why Doyun is so ignorant about omegas. I think it’s because, as he saw his peers going into heat and nothing was happening to him, after a while, he thought nothing ever would. The longer he didn’t go into heat, the less he cared about learning what it is to be an omega. Foolish, but, in a way, it’s quite realistic. We all have our moments when we think “oh, that won’t happen to me” and as usual, life has fun proving us wrong, am I right?

But yeah, I do get that Doyun’s stubbornness and denial can be irritating at times, but, like I said, I don’t think he’s doing it on purpose. It doesn’t excuse how he treated Taehan, he definitely could've handled the situation better, but it does make it understandable. Our poor boy just doesn’t understand what’s going on. One minute he’s perfectly fine, the next, he’s, well... a sex addict! ε=ε=(ノ≧∇≦)ノ

[SPOILERS] & My honest thoughts.

I have to write this out.

It's 3AM and my heart is pumping wildly and my emotions are a mess. I'm so conflicted. I feel nauseous. My hands and arms are trembling, as they were when I read through the manga.

This is amazing work by the mangaka for something so psychologically twisted. It's way up my alley. The torture (physical, mental); the lust portrayed, character's background that offer insight into their psyche is incredible. It's extremely messed up, every direction, every sense of the phrase.

The author's portrayal of fight between Shintani's lust and his rationality is masterful. When we get introduced to Shintani, he seems like the perfect average joe. He rejects the bribe of money. The reader gets a hint of his personality. Righetous, probably? However, his depravity is peeled back, layer by layer.

In the beginning he picks up Kikuchi to keep an eye on him, have some measure of control - or so he says. Sudou correctly guesses (or maybe he recognises the twistedness in Shintani that Sudou too himself has) that Shintani has ulterior motives. Did he initially? We will never know. The reader is presented a question. Shintani feels sympathy, at least. Yet his eyes when meeting Kikuchi while investigating how he plans to pay the debt - are calculating, and betrays him.

Kikuchi's backstory is introduced early, and it is clear the author wants us to feel pity. Kikuchi is the underdog, the victim, starved of affection - and just like a stray dog which the author regularly draws a parallel too. He has a (skewed) moral compass, as shown in the first or second chapter where he defends Shintani against accusations of theft.

Kikuchi longs for acceptance. He falls for the slightest bit of kindness the colleague who he just had sex with against his will. It is rape, blatantly so. Yet the circumstances of his lifestyle forces him to ignore the non-consent, and press on with the main problem at hand. A rape that is already over is a smaller matter as compared to an insurmountable debt (that may result in more torture). Moreover Shintani was drugged, and had been dragged in against his will it is clear Kikuchi does not consider him an accomplice.

Over the course of Vol.1 Sudou develops an interest in this slightly meddlesome Shintani. He recognises that they might be cut from the same cloth, and creates opportunities for him to trigger and nurture that side of him. Sudou knows exactly what buttons to push, and how to flip the switch. Shintani's lust consumes him, and he knows naught of immoral as he literally uses Sudou as fap material. It is clear towards the end that Shintani's rational side does not love Sudou. Shintani rejects Sudou when sober. Yet it seems as though Shintani feels no remorse for his lust-drunkeness towards Sudou, nor regret, as time again and again they find themselves in the same situations. And if this manga had no Kikuchi in it maybe Sudou and Shintani would have gotten a lusty (happy) ending.

Although I say that Shintani does not love Sudou I too question the authenticity of his love for Kikuchi. It is apparent that Shintani treats Kikuchi tenderly, incorporating him into part of the family. In Vol2/3 Shintani learns Kikuchi's first name, and they make love. But each time Kikuchi is vulnerable, and that is precisely what Shintani is attracted to about him.

Sudou has not had a happy life. It has moulded him into a crude shape, and even though he goulds Shintani into sex with him, to him sex is a form of affection and release - not to mention how gently Shintani treats him as compared to how his Yakuza master does. It is clear Sudou gets a kick out of flipping Shintani's switch. He is battling his self hatred, and yet he yearns for love - just like Kikuchi, he is a stray looking for absolution. Sudou uses Shintani to make himself feel better. And when Shintani rejects him, he self-destructs, however this time he wants to make the two others feel his pain. If he can't have happiness, why should they?

Vol3 ends in a threesome (in the loosest sense of the word) - it is a battle, truly, between Shintani's lust and logic. Unfortunately Sudou has won that battle, and Shintani must deal with the consequences.

I feel pity for all 3 characters. My own personal preference wants me to root for only one one pair, one couple to love. I disapprove of Sudou's actions, although I can sympathise. Shintani is only a man, but his inclinations may be, do not take away the betrayal of his actions. It's just tragic that his inclinations swing that way.

I feel better after writing all this out. If anyone has made it through the vomit of my words, thank you for reading. Please link Vol4 so I can erase this feelings of guilt, and anxiety for these 3 characters. I only wish them well. （/TДT)/

The first sex scene. Pretty abrupt right? I think it wasn't just a matter of the seme being horny or smth. The uke was separating them. Calling himself a horny fucker all year round and the seme a righteous hero. I think that was a way of the seme trying to cross the lines the uke made. To show that he isn't a righteous hero and that they're one in the same. I might not have phrased this the best i could but its just my 2 cents.

So I re-read this and noticed a key detail about the poem written by Scholar Inhun Nakyum treasures that I missed the first time. Lord Yoon, the second he sees it, recognizes it as plagiarism of another scholar/ poet’s work to the extent you couldn’t even call it an homage. Later, when he visits the Scholar in the mountains, he picks up one of Inhun’s books Inhun then snatches away.

I firmly believe Lord Yoon’s trump card over the Scholar Inhun isn’t withdrawing his financial support, but revealing his acts of plagiarism, utterly destroying his future as a scholar of merit or worth. Moreover, revealing the plagiarism will destroy the worth of the poem in Nakyum’s eyes as he believed it to be the original words of a man he admired and loved. And now those words are empty mimicry. Who hates a plagiarist/ copycat more than an artist?

Scholar Inhun may claim he deserves position and power due to his moral integrity — to the point he disparages Lord Yoon’s fortune because of his homosexuality —but he too is guilty of deviating from the "moral" path in claiming other’s work as his own to bolster his reputation. Moreover, his acts of service to the poor are nothing but calculated ambition. He knows that by *appearing* to care for them and teach them to be literate he comes off as kind, enlightened, and generous to any Lord or government official. But he has already admitted to Lord Yoon he does little if any teaching because the place of the poor is in the dirt.

I will laugh so hard if Scholar Inhun’s downfall will be the plagiarized poem he gave as a throwaway to the infatuated child of a kisaeng house — thinking the boy, his art, and the poem were nothing.