Can somebody recommend me bl where the mc tries to k1ll himself?
Has very difficult themes around grief and family entanglement, but mc commits suicide and is revived:
https://www.mangago.me/read-manga/at_the_end_of_death/
Thank you dear
The boundary of delusion
Beyond Memories.
Despite having strong opinions and being certain that my future partner needs to share them, when I meet someone my age that treats me normally, not bad looking and not too foolish, I start feeling like I could let their different views, bad traits and etc. slide as long as they like me and treat me good.
I start denying any feelings, while thinking about the person most of the time. And I’m doing the first because I know that I won’t be truly happy with a person like that in the end. Then I start saying that it will be just for fun, knowing at the same time that it’s not for me and will only hurt my feelings. And it’s not like I can’t get over them, the problem is that I need a worse reason to get rid of my feelings. But that’s not what I want.
How do you live normally without constantly craving attention of another boy who is just a little nicer than others? I know that the day when I meet someone compatible for me will come, but that doesn’t help.
You could start asking why you are craving male attention. Is it attention or is it sth else?
let your curiosity guide you through what you actually yearn for, what role you play in your own unhappiness and what you are willing to accept even to your own detriment.
what are your values and principles? are you really willing to forego them and if yes why?
In my case I was chasing dates after dates (also male validation lol) cuz for once in my life I wanted to be chosen. I wanted someone who saw the real me and still thought I was the top prize he won. obviously I had a history of being bullied, lonely and excluded. when that never came I took a look at myself and realized how I contributed to my own unhappiness by 1. chasing pretty but hollow guys (I always used to be called the ugly, fat and dumb girl #asianupbringing) and 2. not doing the work of letting others know me cuz I built a pretty tall wall around me for protection to never get bullied ever again (and cuz of other childhood wounds).
so I stopped to obsess over guys and started to fill my life with meaningful friendships, prioritizing myself and my studies and just trying to be present and not somewhere in my head and in what could potentially be my future.
and when I felt like I actually worked on meeting myself and unlearnt few toxic traits ... it happened: met my boyfriend and we've been together for almost 1,5 years and are talking about moving in together.
so wishing you all the luck!