goldfishy's Things

i’ve recently been told i’m a bad friend, that i’m narrow minded and selfish (all round toxic), by my friend group of 6 or 7. am i?

they said i make them feel exhausted and they need a break from me and that a lot of arguments that we had built up and this is the result of them.

I never thought of myself as that bad of a friend, i give expensive gifts and treat them a lot, tell them how much they mean to me and make them feel loved... i think? Nobody’s ever done that for me so this is the height of my affection for another human being. i don’t really know how else to go about this.

i’m argumentative and have anger issues, i lash out when i’m upset and say things i don’t mean.
i can recall all the times they’ve vocalised them being upset at what i’ve said:
1. I said one of them was ignorant
2. I said one of them was aggressive
3. I called them collectively over sensitive.

this is stuff that i don’t even see as insults because of my upbringing and family life.

that’s pretty much everything. note: i do beg for forgiveness afterwards and they said they forgave me but now i’m finding out they didn’t?

this is a really weird thing that i haven’t even portrayed properly. i just don’t know what to do.

i love them and they don’t want anything to do with me but i’m too egotistical to grovel...